The Mudblood Exchange
by imslytherinatheart
Summary: Hogwarts is offering an extra credit program for muggleborns to spend the summer with half or pure blood families. Hermione signs up of course, but wasn't expecting to spend it with a family of slytherins. DM/HG. OOC warning.Now being Beta'd by Fearlover
1. Going home with who?

Story is now being Beta'd by Fearlover to fix my errors. Thanks Fearlover for your hard work.

"I still don't understand why you think you need the extra credit, now your going to be spending the summer at someone's house and you wont even know who's house till the last minute." Harry said as he rolled his eyes.

"I think it will be interesting to see how another family lives, I mean I know the burrow, but these are uncharted waters." Hermione replied.

"So you sign up to live with someone an entire summer, just to learn how others go about their daily lives."

"I'm not the only one, Harry, there are 20 other muggle borns signed up for this project too. We will be placed in families made of pure and half bloods, just to see how their family life is different than ours."

"You already know, The Weasley's are pure blood or did you forget that?"

"I've not forgotten Harry, this is something I want to do, not only for the extra grade, but as a ...life experience."

Harry rubbed his temples, he really didn't want her living with anyone that he was not familiar with, He had only defeated Voldemort a few months earlier and there were still followers out there in his opinion, just waiting for an innocent muggle born to fall into their clutches.

"I'll go along with this on one condition...you keep in touch constantly. I don't like this one bit but you're stubborn and I know you wont change your mind – just please ease my mind and write me every few days or so."

She pulled Harry into a tight hug and promised him that she would contact him often. There were only 2 days left before they ended their 6th year and tomorrow the list would be unveiled of who was staying where. A sign up sheet had been passed through all the classes looking for willing participants to not only stay in an unknown house, but for volunteers to offer their homes for a summer. Everyone who signed up had to have a permission slip allowing them to go with their new family for the summer and everyone who signed up, offering their house had to have a note of acceptance from the parents.

"Come on Harry, Ron is waiting for us at dinner, I want to spend as much time with you two as possible." she pulled him behind her, trying to get to the hall before dinner was over.

Dinner went by uneventfully and the three friends stayed up 'till late in the night talking about summer plans. Harry was going home with Ron for the summer instead of his relatives and Hermione was going home with someone who she didn't know yet. They eventually grew tired and made their way to the dorms to get some sleep.

The next morning Hermione ran out of the common room with Harry and Ron on her heels. They had slightly overslept, due to being up late, and were close to missing breakfast.

"Slow down Hermione, we still have ten minutes." Ron huffed, while following the brown haired streak he considered a friend.

"Maybe, but this is our last day of school and I want to see everyone as much as possible."

They reached the great hall in record time, causing everyone to look up as Hermione skid to a stop at the table, Harry and Ron panting behind her.

"Good grief woman, I think your trying to kill us." Harry huffed out.

"You'll live, I promise" she replied with a smile as she sat down. Being the last day, school was pretty lax, they were allowed to just hang out and pretty much have the run of the castle as long a no rules were broken. They spent to majority of the day walking the grounds and just enjoying things with out the thought of Voldemort hanging over their heads. They returned to the Great Hall for dinner and had almost finished eating when Dumbledore stood to make an announcement.

"I just wanted to wish you luck and fun over the summer. This year has had its ups and downs, but all in all, I believe we are stronger then ever before. I want to congratulate our Seventh years, who have made it through their Hogwarts education and will be going out into the world to start their lives, and our Sixth years who have made it to their upcoming final year. I also want to inform you that the train is leaving at exactly nine in the morning to take you home. Those who have signed up for our summer program will leave the train station with their new families. Anyone with questions can approach me after dinner. Those who signed up will find a note under their plates with the name of the student they are going home with. Enjoy the rest of your meal and stay safe over the summer."

As soon as the headmaster took his seat, Harry, Ron and Hermione made quick about getting the note, Ron managed to grab if first. His face had a look of shock and he was rendered speechless. Harry didn't like Ron's reaction and ripped the paper from his hands.

"NO, ABSOLUTLY NOT!" Harry shouted.

"Who the hell is it?" Hermione asked with a worried look. Harry handed her the paper and she took a deep breath before reading it.

"Draco Malfoy?" was all she said before fainting into Harry's arms.


	2. Tee shirts and neutral colors

A/N: Thank you Fearlover for being a quick Beta and doing an awesome job.

Last time: "Who the hell is it?" Hermione asked with a worried look.

Harry handed her the paper and she took a deep breath before reading it. "Draco Malfoy?" was all she said before fainting into Harry'sarms.

Now: The next morning on the train: "So you have no way out of this?" Ron asked.

"None, apparently Dumbledore used the Sorting Hat to assign our adoptive families and they had been notified over a week ago. Dumbledore said the Malfoy's were looking forward to having me."

"I can't imagine Lucius or Narcissa Malfoy wanting to have a muggle born running around their manor. What does the albino ferret say about this?" Harry asked.

"Don't know, he hasn't said anything except that he would wait for me on the platform when we arrived."

"I've changed my mind; I want to see your face through the floo daily instead of a letter every few days." Harry stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Oh, honestly Harry, I'll be fine. They aren't going to hurt me when everyone knows where I am, besides, they did help the Order when it came toVoldemort."

"I know...but I still don't like it." Harry replied with a huff.

A few hours later the train started slowing down, arriving at the platform. The three friends stepped off the train.

"We'll wait for you until Malfoy finds you." Ron announced.

"I'll be fine, trust me."

"We know you can take care of yourself, we are just...well you know...protective." Harry said with a smile.

She returned the smile and gripped both boys into a huge hug. "Maybe the Malfoy's will let me visit the Burrow over the summer or something, I'm sure I can find a way to visit."

Just then, Draco showed up wearing a frown, "Come on Granger; let's get this over with."

Hermione gave Harry and Ron a final hug and walked away, following the blond haired Slytherin to the snake pit. Once they were out of sight of Harry and Ron, Draco turned to face her.

"This wasn't my idea; my parents think this will be good for the family's reputation. Just stay out of my way this summer and everything will be fine."

"Well if I stay out of your way, what am I supposed to do all summer?" she asked with a sour expression.

"I don't know Granger; I know my mum is looking forward to your visit, maybe she'll take you shopping all summer or something."

Hermione rolled her eyes as he started to walk again, heading towards his waiting parents.

"Hello Ms. Granger, Draco, did you have a nice trip?" Lucius asked in a bored tone.

"It was fine, boring, but fine." Hermione replied trying to quickly break the tension.

"Very well, shall we?" he asked with a waiting arm. Hermione gulped and looked over to Narcissa and Draco, who had already taken her sons arm. Hermione shyly placed her arm in his and walked from the platform, following Narcissa and Draco.

"We have set the room up next to Draco's for you, that way if you need anything you can find someone easily."

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy" she replied with a smile right before Lucius apparated them to the manor.

Once they arrived, Hermione was standing with the three Malfoy's, eyes wide in shock, "I am so going to get lost." she said without thinking, causing the family to snicker at her and her to blush.

"Come dear, I'll show you to your room, your things are already there." Narcissa said with a small smile.

Hermione nodded and began to follow the blonde woman up the stairs.

"I just want to thank you for having me over the summer."

"Oh, it's nothing, I think I will enjoy having another female around for once, Draco hates it when I drag him shopping with me and Lucius pouts the entire time willing me to hurry after about five minutes." Narcissa replied.

Hermione laughed at the statement, "I can just picture the faces on them when you ask them to go, you'll have to do that for me sometime."

This time it was Narcissa that laughed, "Don't worry dear; I torture them all the time. You'll see more than a fair share of disgruntled faces and whining men."

They finally approached a door and stopped, "This is Draco's room, if you need anything this is where you'll most likely find him." they walked another twenty feet and came to a second door. "This is your room, I tried for your house colors, but I got the look from Lucius and decided to just go as neutral as possible."

She opened the door to the large room and walked inside, Hermione close behind. She looked around with her mouth dropped open again, "This room is lovely, thank you."

The walls were a beige color with very little hanging on them except for a few girlish pictures. The carpet was a dark midnight blue and the furniture was made of dark wood. The bed was queen sized with black sheets andcomforter.

"Albus told us you weren't a girlie type of girl, so I decided to put neutral colors all around...I just don't see you with pink or purple."

"I appreciate it, trust me." Hermione replied with a chuckle.

"Alright dear, I'll leave you to freshen up a bit before dinner, you have a bathroom through that door, it's fully stocked with everything you might need and dinner should be in about an hour."

"Thanks again Mrs. Malfoy, for everything."

"Not a problem dear, see you in an hour."

Hermione waited for the door to close before making a mad dash to the bathroom, for one, she really had to go and second, she really wanted to see what it looked like. When she walked in she was shocked at the size of it, it almost looked to be the size of a small bedroom. The entire bathroom was black tiled from floor to ceiling. There was a nice sized tub along with a separate part for shower only. There were white, fluffy rugs on the floor and a picture of a large white lily hanging on one of the walls, it almost looked to expensive to use.

After a second look around, the bath tub was calling for her. She quickly stripped down and started the water, pouring a large amount of bath scented bath salt into the water as it filled the tub. As she sunk down into the water she started to giggle "This beats the Burrow any day of the week."

A little while later there was a knock on her door, "Come on Granger, my parents are waiting."

Hermione jumped from the comfort of the tub and dried herself off quickly, "I'll be out in a minute Malfoy, just hold you horses."

She flew to her trunk wrapped in her towel trying to find something to wear. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to dress up, but all she had was muggle clothes. She pulled out a pair of jeans and the first tee shirt she found and dressed quickly.

"Alright Malfoy, let's go." she said as she opened the door.

He didn't give her a second look and just started to walk toward the dining room, Hermione right behind him. When they reached the room where his parents were waiting, she walked inside giving a small smile and sitting in the closest chair she came too. A chuckle could be heard throughout the room and everyone turned to look at Lucius.

"Where on earth did you get that shirt?" he said with another laugh.

Hermione looked down and blushed at the dark blue shirt with yellow letters saying "I dress myself."

She felt so stupid for grabbing that one, of all the shirts she has, she grabs to one making her appear to be a little slow.

"I'm sorry; I just pulled on the first one I found."

"It's quite alright, I find it amusing." Lucius said with a smirk.

He called for a house elf, which quickly brought the meal out for the family. Hermione didn't say anything about the elf, this wasn't her territory and she wanted to keep the peace as much as possible. Lucius continued to ask her about the shirt throughout dinner and decided it would be interesting to see her collection.

Narcissa invited everyone for a shopping trip the next day, earning a groan from Lucius and Draco and a laugh from Hermione and Narcissa. The dinner went off without a problem, Draco wasn't talking much, but his parents seemed to like her. As she went to bed that night she couldn't help but think that maybe this wasn't going to be so bad.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: WOW, I'm glad to see you like this story. Thanks for the reviews.

Last time:

Lucius continued to ask her about the shirt through out dinner and decided it would be interesting to see her collection. Narcissa invited everyone for a shopping trip the next day, earning a groan from Lucius and Draco and a laugh from Hermione and Narcissa. The dinner went off without a problem, Draco wasn't talking much but his parents seemed to like her. As she went to bed that night she couldn't help but think that maybe this wasn't going to be so bad.

Now:

The next morning, Draco and Lucius had been woken up by Narcissa, eager to get on with the shopping. Hermione however, was so comfortable in her new bed that she didn't here the commotion coming from the next room as Lucius drug Draco out of the bed by force.

"If I have to go on this damn shopping trip, so do you." he said as he pulled Draco's ankle.

"Why do I have to go, I haven't done anything wrong." Draco whined back

"We all have to go, I think she likes the idea of having another one of her species to torture along with the rest of us." Lucius replied.

"Is Granger up yet?"

"No, you mum tried to wake her up but she's dead to the world."

"Well if we cant get out of this, neither can she." Draco said as he finished getting out of the bed and walked over to her door. He knocked for a minute or two and when he didn't get an answer he went in after her.

She was laying in the bed, curled in the shape of a question mark. He thought of pulling her out of the bed like he had been, but then the slytherin came out and he climbed into the bed with her. He scooted over close to her, wrapping his arm around her. She moaned slightly and turned over, wrapping her arm around him. _"I give her to the count of five before she realizes somethings wrong._" he thought to himself as he silently started counting. He was slightly off, it actually took to the count of ten before her eyes slowly opened. She was still dazed when she woke up, but not enough to not realize Draco was in the bed with her. She sprung out of the bed within seconds.

"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed. Draco started to laugh at her.

"Nothing you didn't want Granger, I assure you."

"I did no such thing" she replied making sure she still had her tee shirt and knickers on.

"Your right, you did no such thing, but next time can you try to wake up when I knock on your door?"

"Fine, I'll do my best, but why the hell are you up so early?"

"Because my mother is ready to go shopping, My father and I have been up for a few minutes already."

"Well I'm up, so if you don't mind leaving, I need to get dressed."

Draco slid out of the bed and walked out of her room, back to the comfort of his own. Hermione dug through her trunk to find something to wear for the day. She had a ton of tee shirts with different sayings on them, but decided not to press her luck. She slid on a pair of jeans and a white, sleeveless button up shirt. Throwing her sneakers on and putting her hair in a pony tail, she was ready for whatever Narcissa had to throw at her... or so she thought.

Six hours after they had started their shopping trip, Narcissa was still going strong. Hermione's feet were on fire, Draco was looking around for something to hang himself with and Lucius had repeatedly tried to sneak away when he thought she wasn't looking, unfortunately for him he would only get about 10 feet before getting caught. Narcissa had just gone into a fitting room and Hermione couldn't stop herself from asking. "Please tell me this is only a once in a while thing?"

"We go through this twice a month during the summer." Lucius replied as Draco cringed.

Hermione looked at the many, many bags of clothing and anything else Narcissa could find and sighed. She had gone nuts and bought everyone stuff, even her.

"We've got to end this madness" Hermione finally said from her seat in the middle of the two men.

"She can still go for a few more hours Granger, trust me this isn't even close to being over." Draco finally said as Lucius started to sneak off again.

"If you go anywhere, please take us with you" Hermione begged to him. Losing his resolve, he plopped back down next to her and sighed.

"Alright, I'm taking this into my own hands, you two owe me soooooo bad for this." She stood and made her way to the dressing rooms.

"It wont work, we've tried everything in the past, it's like trying to pull the worlds strongest magnets apart with your pinkies" Lucius said with another sigh.

She ignored the men and kept walking, they were going to own her sooo much for this. Just as Hermione approached, Narcissa was stepping out of the dressing room.

"Mrs. Malfoy, I was wondering if we could go back to the manor soon, I'm really anxious to try on the new things you bought...and I'm curious to see the stuff you bought for yourself, you know, girl time."

Narcissa brightened up at this, Draco and Lucius would usually hide for the rest of the day once they got back to the manor.

"Oh that sounds great, go tell the boys we will be leaving in five minutes."

Hermione nodded and turned back to the waiting boys.

"Help me gather the bags, we are heading back to the manor in five minutes."

Lucius and Draco looked to the newest Malfoy for the summer in shock.

"How in the hell did you manage that?" Draco shouted

"I'm a Gryffindor, I sacrificed myself for everyone involved. Just don't ask questions, believe me your safe."

Narcissa came around the corner, "Is everyone ready to go?"

A yes said in unison came from the three waiting for her. They went back to the manor where Lucius and Draco scampered away to the library for some peace, Hermione however was ushered into her room where bags were tossed on the bed, ready to be emptied.

The Malfoy men sat in the library, trying to figure out how Hermione managed to get Narcissa back so quick.

"I have no clue what she said to her, but mum seemed elated about something."

"I know, I just hope Ms. Granger survives whatever is happening right now. I would hate having to explain to your Headmaster that she didn't even last a full 24 hours."

Several hours later, Narcissa finally left Hermione's room and retreated to her own to have the elves put everything away. Hermione crawled into the bed and collapsed, falling asleep in the middle of the bed, no pillows, no blanket, just pure worn out.

Lucius and Draco finally left the library to search for Hermione. They needed to make sure she was still alive and sane. They crept up to her room, avoiding Narcissa at all cost. When they knocked and received no answer, they gently opened the door to see her curled into the fetal position in the middle of the bed.

"Merlin, we're to late, she's dead." Lucius whispered.

"Look, she must have offered to play dress up with mum, Clothes are scattered everywhere."

"Lets get her covered up and let her rest, she looks like death." Lucius whispered back.

The carefully moved the small witch up to her pillows and covered her up, they owed her and they knew it.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Your reviews had me laughing, good job. haha

Last time:

"Lets get her covered up and let her rest, she looks like death." Lucius whispered back.

The carefully moved the small witch up to her pillows and covered her up, they owed her and they knew it.

Now:

The next morning Hermione woke up sore. She felt as if she had run a marathon and didn't rest or stretch the entire time. "I'll just get my music and relax in a nice hot bath, that should help the muscles." she said to herself while grabbing her MP3 player . She made her way into the bathroom, started the water and stripped.

A few minutes later she lowered herself into the water and started her MP3 player, submerging her sore body into the extraordinarily hot water. She leaned back and closed her eyes, drowning the world out from around her.

In the next room Draco was starting to stir when he heard a tapping on his window. Pulling himself up, he walked over and opened the window to let the bird in. The first thing he noticed is the owl belonged to Pansy.

"Didn't take her long to settle in." he said to the bird who was holding out his foot for Draco. He untied the letter from the owl and read the letter from Pansy, stating she was coming over for a visit. The bird flew from room as soon as Draco finished reading.

"Great, now I have to deal with her, I wonder if mum wants to go shopping again, that'll get me out of this." he said to himself with a chuckle.

Hermione had already finished her bath and dressed. She sat back down in her bed to write Harry a letter, telling him she was alive and well.

_Harry and The Weasleys,_

_Just wanted to send you an owl letting you know this are going fine. Narcissa took us all shopping yesterday...for hours, we all just wanted to escape. The entire family is being very nice, Draco is still quiet around me, but Narcissa and Lucius have included me in everything – Lucius even likes my tee shirts._

_How are things going at the burrow? Write me back and let me know._

_Hermione _

She sealed the letter and made her way down stairs to ask if she could use their owl. When she reached the dining room, she found Lucius sitting at the table reading his paper.

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy, I was wondering if I might use your owl to send a letter?"

"of course child." he replied while snapping his finger. A black owl landed in front of her.

"Take this letter to Harry at the burrow." she said to the owl, who gave a small hoot and flew away.

"Where's Narcissa?" she asked.

"She escaped early this morning, Pansy Parkinson is coming over in a bit to see Draco and my wife would rather set her robes on fire then deal with the girl."

"I wish she would have taken me with her." Hermione replied with a laugh.

"Am I to assume you don't care for her either?" Lucius asked with a smirk.

"I cant say I don't like her, after all, I don't know her very well, but if she's anything like she is in school then I can honestly say I'd rather go fishing or actually anything then deal with her."

Lucius raised an eyebrow at her, "What's fishing?"

"You've never been fishing? Wow, I thought everyone had. Fishing is when you go to a lake or any body of water that harbors fish and catch them with a fishing pole and bait."

"Is it a muggle thing?"

"Yes, but a lot of the wizards I know have gone at least once in their life. You really should try it, it's relaxing."

Lucius went to reply but was interrupted by Pansy, who walked in as if she lived there.

"Where's Draco?" she asked without as much as saying hello.

"He's in his room, He's probably waiting for you." Lucius replied. Pansy walked further into the dining room, glaring at Hermione.

"Granger, why don't you join me and Draco for the day?"

Hermione wasn't stupid, she knew Pansy just wanted to find a way to call her names and make fun of her for whatever she could come up with.

"I'm sorry Pansy, but Hermione is going to teach me how to fish today." Lucius replied, knowing Hermione wanted nothing to do with being trapped anywhere near her.

"Oh, fishing...how muggle." she replied with a sound of disgust.

"Just be a dear and tell Draco that I'll be out at the lake if he needs anything."

She turned around and started for the stairs without saying a word.

"You really want me to teach you how to fish??" She asked in amazement

"If it will get me out of this house while she in in there, the answer is yes."

"Okay, you might want to change though, and I'll transfigure us some poles and bait."

"What kind of clothes do I need?" He asked, knowing his wardrobe was limited when it came to normal clothes

"Do you have jeans and a tee shirt?"

"Jeans yes, tee shirt no." he replied

"I have a tee shirt you can use, My mum bought it for me but she bought the wrong size, it's meant for a grown man."

"alright, I'll follow you up to get the shirt, then we will meet back here in say ten minutes."

"Sounds good, come on and I'll get you the shirt."

They made their way up the stairs, creeping in front of Draco's room so Pansy didn't here them. She walked into her room and pulled out a gray tee shirt.

"This one should fit you, it looks to be about your size. You can also keep that one in case you need a regular tee shirt in the future."

Lucius nodded and walked to his room to change.

In Draco's room, he was already wanting to pull his hair out.

"So how is it having a mud blood living with you?" Pansy asked.

"She not that bad, My parents seem to really like her." Draco replied, hoping Pansy would want to leave soon.

"About that, Your father told me to tell you that Granger is taking him fishing at the lake, just in case you needed anything." Draco nodded and changed the subject.

Hermione had already made it back out to the dining room , transfigured the poles and two containers of bait before Lucius walked in.

"Do all of your shirts say something?" he asked amused.

She laughed at the sight of the eldest Malfoy in jeans, wearing a gray shirt that said "Kick'in it old school."

"Yes, most of them say something, I personally just find them funny." she replied

"Well, if your ready, the lake is out back."

Hermione nodded and the pair made their way to the lake. It had taken her close to 15 minutes to get Lucius to bait his own hook, but after the initial spearing of the worm, he caught on and was able to do it himself.

Draco was watching the events from his window, ignoring Pansy with everything he had. She was boring, clingy and annoying. He laughed to himself as Hermione gave Lucius a worm to show him how to do it. He though his father was actually going to be sick at one point, but he only earned a chuckle from Hermione.

"Draco... Are you listening to me?" Pansy screeched.

"Listen Pansy, I really don't feel well, can we continue this another day?"

Pansy frowned but agreed, and left the manor. Draco on the other hand was feeling fine, he walked back over to the window and noticed that his father and Granger we having a good time, laughing and joking around. He slid on a pair of jeans and a white shirt before making his way out to the lake to join them.

Draco walked up slowly, he could here some of the conversation they were having and wanted to listen in.

"I know this is rude, but why are you all being so nice to me?" she asked Lucius as she sat down on the dock.

Lucius sat down next to her and sighed, "It's not rude, it's actually a question I was expecting from you at some point. The truth of the matter is I was a faithful follower of Voldemort for many years, until one night he threatened my family. I continued to obey him to save my family, but I really wanted nothing more then for Potter to finally rid us of him for good. Unfortunately the damage had been done and no matter what I tried, people still saw me and my family as the bad guys. When I heard about the project Dumbledore was offering, I signed us up, hoping to prove to everyone that we really aren't as bad as people think."

Hermione didn't respond except with a nod.

"I was actually hoping that you would sign up for the program, Draco would come home during the summer and complain that your grades were better then his, and everything else he could think of, but I think you earned our respect when you hit him in third year, it showed that you had back bone. We were hoping to have you assigned here. We wanted to get to know you."

Hermione was floored, but it did answer a lot of her questions.

"Well, I'm glad I got to come here, I never would have thought the Malfoys to actually be nice, but just over the day and a half I've been here, you have shown me a different side then I expected."

Draco finally started to walk closer again, he wasn't sure why, but he was glad his dad was getting along with her and she him.

"Mind if I join you?" Draco asked as he sat down next to Hermione.

"Is it gone?" Lucius asked

"IT, oh you mean Pansy, yes it's gone." he replied with a chuckle.

"Good, I'm going in to take a nap, your mum woke me up early when she was trying to leave before Pansy got here."

He handed his pole to Draco, "Thanks for the lesson Ms. Granger... and the shirt."

She smiled at him, "Your welcome"

Lucius made his way back to the manor leaving Draco and Hermione alone.

"Have fun with Pansy?" Hermione laughed, knowing he didn't.

"Have you ever had a tooth ache, that no matter what you did the pain was still there?" he asked

"Yes I have" she replied

"Well I would have rather had one of those then to deal with Pansy." he said with a smirk.

They laughed for a minute but then they fell into a comfortable silence.

"Do you know how to swim?" Draco finally asked

"Yes, I learned when I was 4."

"Do you want to go for a swim in the lake? Theres nothing in there that can hurt you."

"A swim sounds fun, but I don't think it would work to well in jeans."

He shrugged, "Take them off, no one is out here, you can swim in your shirt."

Swimming really did sound like fun, but that would make her half naked in front of him. Then she thought back to yesterday morning when she stood there yelling at him in nothing more then a shirt an Knickers.

"Fine, but I'll only swim if you do." she told him.

Draco stood and pulled his jeans down, leaving him in boxers and a shirt. "You better come in a swim too." he said as he jumped off the dock into the water.

Hermione sighed and removed her jeans, jumping into the water after him.

Narcissa had arrived home once she figured Pansy to be gone. She made her way up to her room, finding Lucius watching something out the window.

"What are you looking at?" Narcissa asked as she sat her things down.

"I'm watching Draco and Hermione, they seem to be getting along a lot better then the first night she was here."

Narcissa looked out the window just in time to see Hermione jump on Draco's back and dunk him under the water.

"How long as this been going on?" she asked with a laugh.

"About twenty minutes now, Draco accidentally splashed her and she retaliated, next thing I know their having a full blown water war."

They both laughed and watched the war continue for a few more minutes before going down stairs for lunch. They would have the elves bring lunch to the dock for Hermione and Draco.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Dynonugget - I agree that I am taking a leap of faith with this one, but I wanted to write something on the lighter side and I don't recall ever reading a story like this before.

And thanks for all the reviews this story has gotten, I've got a million things I can do to this story, lol. And I'm glad you all seem to like it. I do however need to update my other stories so it may be a day or so before this gets updated again.

Last time:

They both laughed and watched the war continue for a few more minutes before going down stairs for lunch. They would have the elves bring lunch to the dock for Hermione and Draco.

Now:

A week had passed since Hermione had come to live with the Malfoy's. and she had to admit she was having fun. She never expected it to be this way, and perhaps a year ago it wasn't, but for now it seemed they were trying to have as normal of a life as possible.

Lucius had continued to wear the shirt as much as he could, said he liked how easy it was to move in compared to his normal clothes. Hermione offered to take him to a muggle tee shirt shop to get a few more so he would have a selection. He agreed and they were supposed to go sometime this weekend.

Last night while sitting and eating dinner, Narcissa and Hermione got on the topic of baking. Narcissa was fascinated with the process and roped Both Hermione and Draco into a baking session the next day. Lucius snickered because he wasn't included, until Narcissa told him he was the taste tester.

Hermione was up first this morning and was kinda looking forward to baking, something she usually did with her mum over the summer. She decided to wake Draco up so he would have time to get dressed before they were to meet Narcissa.

She knocked on his door, but received no response.

"Alright, I'm coming in." she said hoping to trigger some kind of reaction, but there was still no sign of life behind that door. She pushed it open to find Draco deep into sleep.

"Two can play at this game." she said to herself as she climbed into bed with him. Draco had in fact heard her knocking on his door and planned on jumping up as soon as she got close to to bed and scare the hell out of her.

She snuggled in nice and close, just as he did to her, wrapping her arm around his waist. Draco smirked mentally and shifted his weight, wrapping his arm around her so she was trapped. He nuzzled in nice and close, causing Hermione to panic.

"Morning Pansy" he said with a yawn.

"PANSY!!! I'm not Pansy now get off." she screeched, doing her best to get him off.

Draco started to laugh and let her go. "You were awake the entire time weren't you?" she yelled

"Yes, I was." he said with a smirk. He looked to her sleeping clothes and raised an eyebrow, "Why are you wearing a pair of guys boxers?"

"Because they are comfortable, I sleep in them all the time."

"I don't see you as the type to actually buy mens underwear." he said with a chuckle.

"I didn't buy these, I kind of adopted them." she said with a small blush

"Who's were they?"

"Harry's, they got mixed into my stuff last summer and I just forgot to give them back, now he's to big for them so I kept them."

"You are aware that Potter's little prick was snuggled into those right?"

"Oh honestly, They have been washed and trust me, it's not little." She said with a smirk that rivaled any slytherin.

"How in the hell do you know that?" he asked in shock

She didn't answer and walked away back to her room leaving Draco with his mouth opened wide.

Ten minutes later they were in the kitchen, fully dressed.

"Alright Hermione, you've done this before – how do we start?"

Hermione snickered and started to gather ingredients they would be needing along with a big bowl, a couple cookie sheets and a big mixing spoon.

"Okay, this whole thing is actually like making a potion, just with edible ingredients."

Narcissa nodded eagerly while Draco looked bored.

"Have either of you ever cooked anything before?" she finally asked

"No, the elves have always cooked for us. They actually panicked when I told them we were going to attempt to make cookies by ourselves." she said with a small chuckle.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at the thought of the elves being forced from the kitchen, just knowing the manor would burn to the ground.

"Alright, Dry ingredients first." she said as she started passing things to both Draco and Narcissa, telling them how much to measure out. If anyone would have walked by they would have thought the world had gone mad at the sight of Hermione and the Malfoys baking cookies.

The continued with the wet ingredients and before long their combined efforts had created dough.

"When does it turn into a cookie?" Draco asked, causing Hermione to burst out laughing.

"We have to separate the dough into small pieces and bake them before they become cookies. Grab a spoon and scoop a small amount out of the bowl, then place it on the cookie sheet."

Narcissa didn't miss a beat, she was ready for this. She was the first to scoop and held the spoon over the sheet, giving it a gentle shake.

"It wont drop from the spoon?" she said in a confused voice.

"Use your finger and give it a little push."

Narcissa did as she was told and squealed when the first plop of dough landed on the cookie sheet. Draco followed her actions, well, except for the squealing part, and plopped his own spoonful of dough on the waiting cookie sheet.

"Just keep going, make sure they have two inches between each spoonful of dough, I 'll go start the oven."

The two Malfoys continued to drop the dough while Hermione got the oven warmed up. They both watched Hermione as she placed the cookie sheets in a large oven and closed the door.

"I suggest we put everything back so the house elves don't have a fit." Hermione said, still picturing the panicking elves. The three went to work making sure everything was being cleaned and put in place, unfortunately Hermione didn't see the dropped spoon and slipped while carrying the flour, coating Draco from head to toe.

"You did that on purpose." Draco said in a freaked out voice.

"I did not, I tripped." Both turned when they heard a snickering coming from Narcissa.

"You look absolutely ridiculous Draco." she said while laughing.

Draco bent down and grabbed two handfuls of flour, giving each woman a heavy dusting of the evil white powder. Narcissa gasped, but Hermione smirked, she pulled two eggs from the carton, handing one to Narcissa.

"When you see my fingers cross, throw your egg at him." Narcissa nodded and Draco backed away.

"Why are you two looking at me like that?" He asked in a slightly worried voice. At that exact moment, Hermione crossed her fingers and two eggs flew through the air, hitting Draco in the chest.

Narcissa grinned, "My first food fight!!" she said excitedly before she started pulling eggs out at record speed. Draco and Hermione's eye went wide and the dove for cover, hiding from the giggling blonde, egg wielding woman.

"Do you see what you've started?" Draco said with a smirk

"Oh stuff it, your having fun and you know it." she said as she was hit in the butt with an egg.

They were finally saved when the timer went off. Hermione peered around the corner of the kitchen island, looking for any stray eggs to go flying. When she felt if was safe, she made her way to the oven, joined by Narcissa and Draco. The cookie sheets were pulled out of the oven and the smell of the fresh baked cookies filled the room. Hermione quickly transferred them to a cooling rack and stepped away with a satisfied smirk.

"They look to have come out perfect." Narcissa said with a smile. They waited for about 10 minutes before the urge to try one got the best of them.

"They actually came out good." Draco said while looking at the cookie.

"Good, lets take one to Lucius and pretend we haven't tried them yet." Narcissa said with grin. The three flour and egg covered bakers made their way through the manor and into Lucius study.

"What the hell happened to you three? Was making cookies really that hard?" Lucius asked with raised eyebrows.

Narcissa crossed the room and dropped the cookie into his hands, "I told you that you were the taste tester, if you don't die we will know if they are safe to eat."

Lucius paled but lifted the cookie to his lips and took a small bite. "Hey, these are actually good." he complimented as he took a bigger bite.

The three explained about the food fight then made their way to the bathrooms to clean up, while back in the kitchen were a few angry elves looking at the mess left behind.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: celestreal: Thanks for the heads up, I didn't even notice that.

Last time:

Lucius paled but lifted the cookie to his lips and took a small bite. "Hey, these are actually good." he complimented as he took a bigger bite.

The three explained about the food fight then made their way to the bathrooms to clean up, while back in the kitchen were a few angry elves looking at the mess left behind.

Now:

Over the next week it seemed that Hermione was getting more comfortable with the Malfoy's just as they were with her. Narcissa seemed to really need another female around, one that didn't gossip about everything like the other pure blood wives would and even though Hermione was the same age as her son, she found Hermione to be the perfect female friend...and accomplice.

"Do you think he will wake up?" Hermione whispered to Narcissa as they stood over Draco.

"I don't think so, he seems to be pretty out of it."

"Alright, I'll do the eye shadow and you get to working on the lips and blush." Narcissa giggled and went to work. After about five minutes, both were laughing as quietly as possible.

"I think we've done enough with him, now we need to move to my husband before it gets any later." Hermione nodded and crept of of the room, heading to the sleeping Lucius.

"Are you sure about this? Draco is one thing but Lucius is different." Hermione said with a slight hint of worry.

"I'll handle Lucius when he discovers it." Narcissa smirked.

They again went to work, putting the pinkest lipstick they could find on his lips and a purple eye shadow and some blush.

"I think we have done enough, lets head down to the dining room and wait for the show." Narcissa said with a huge smile, Hermione followed trying to contain her giggle, no one would ever believe she had put make up on both Malfoy men.

Twenty minutes later Lucius woke and went for the dining room. He sat in his normal chair and waited for the house elf to appear with his breakfast. Hermione and Narcissa gave him a small nod and continued to eat their breakfast, eye contact would only cause them to burst out in laughter. A small house elf appeared and almost dropped the plate at the sight of Lucius, "Your breakfast sir" the elf said with a slight nervous giggle. Lucius nodded and the elf disappeared back to the kitchens.

"So what is the plan for today?" Lucius asked.

"I was thinking we can get you some tee shirts today since we didn't get to it last week." Hermione replied.

"Sounds good to me." Lucius said as he took another bite. Hermione was dying inside, the urge to laugh was almost over whelming but she controlled herself by biting into another piece of toast.

Draco finally walked in few minutes later and sat in the chair across from his father, their eyes met briefly and Lucius continued to eat, not noticing the make up right away. Draco however did,

"Father, what did you do to your face?" Draco almost screamed

"Wha – theres nothing wrong with my face." he looked to his son and pointed his finger, "Whats on your face?" he asked in shock. Both men darted from their chair and ran to the mirror.

"Why the hell would they do that?" Lucius asked and ran back to the dining room where Narcissa and Hermione ware laughing uncontrollably.

"You look so pretty dear." Narcissa said through a strangled laugh causing Hermione to almost fall out of her chair. Draco finally appeared at his fathers side looking like he was going to lynch someone.

"Hermione dear" Narcissa said still laughing, "I think its a good idea if we run now."

Hermione nodded and both took off out the door followed by Draco and Lucius.

"I'll deal with your mum, you get Ms. Tee shirts." Lucius barked.

Draco caught a glimpse of Hermione dashing out the back door and he went after her. She ran as fast as she could, laughing even harder as she noticed him coming at her.

"get back here Granger, you made me look like a poof." He yelled as he started to catch up to her.

"Never, I'll never surrender." She yelled behind her as she ran faster. Draco picked up his speed a bit and managed to tackle her to the ground, landing on top of her.

"I told you I would catch you, my legs are longer." he said to a still laughing Hermione.

"I have..to...agree...with your mum...you do look pretty." she choked out trying to stop laughing long enough to catch her breath.

"Not funny Granger."

"Oh its funny, I'm sure the guys will love you." she replied

"I'm not a poof and the first guy to come on to me is a dead man."

"Prove it -- I always thought you were a little more of the girls side."

He looked down to the witch underneath him and crashed his lips to hers.

Back inside the manor, Narcissa was taking two stairs at a time, trying her best to get away from Lucius.

"Get back here woman." he yelled as he followed her up the stairs. Narcissa was laughing so hard that her legs gave out as she reached the final stair, she dropped to the ground in uncontrolled giggles.

"I -I'm sorry, we couldn't help ourselves." she squeaked, falling into a fit of giggles again.

"You my dear, are going to help me reclaim my manhood." He said as he scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom. Narcissa still laughing the entire time.

Back on the grounds, Draco had finally pulled out of the kiss and looked down to Hermione, "Did that prove it?"

Hermione could do nothing but nod as she shook herself from the shock.

"No girl has ever dared to do this to me." he stated pointing to his face.

"Because the girls you know have the personality of a depressed tortoise." she replied back, causing Draco to laugh.

He stood up and held his hand out for her, which she took. He started to walk towards the lake with his head cocked to one side as if he was staring at something.

"What are you looking at?" she asked as she followed behind him.

"Not sure but I think I saw something." he replied as he walked onto the dock. Hermione followed, looking in the direction he was, trying to spot anything she could. Suddenly she went flying into the water, leaving a laughing Draco dry and warm on the dock.

"That'll teach you to make me look like a poof." he said as he started to walk back to the manor. Hermione looked at the retreating figure in shock of what just happened..

"He's not getting away with that" she said to herself as she quickly climbed out of the water and went after him. Draco didn't hear her coming as she jumped on his back, knocking him to the ground.

"Think its funny to get me wet?" she asked as she started pressing her body to his, trying to make him wet too. She wrung out her hair on his back and continued to soak him through.

Draco on the other hand was enjoying the fact that she was pressing her body to his, he knew she didn't realize exactly what she was doing, so he would continue to act like she was torturing him.

"How do you like that, huh, tell me?" she squealed

"Let me turn over, I think you missed a spot." he said with a chuckle, causing her to freeze and blush.

"Oh, ummmm, sorry." she said as she jumped off of him, running to her room to shower and change.

An hour later there was a knock on her door. "Are you ready to go get tee shirts?" Lucius asked through the door. She opened the door and smiled.

"Yeah I'm ready, I see you finally got the make up off." she said with a laugh

"Finally, I just don't see how you girls wear that stuff." he replied.

He took her by the arm and apparated them close to a store she had told him about in muggle London called Tees.

As they walked in the door, they were greeted by a guy a little older then Hermione.

"I was wondering when you would show up." the guy said to Hermione.

"Hi Scott," Hermione greeted with a grin, "This is a friend of mine, Lucius Malfoy, and we are here to get him a few shirts."

"Good afternoon Mr. Malfoy." Scott greeted in return.

Lucius nodded and started to look around at the hundreds of shirts lining the walls, all with different sayings.

"Oh Hermione, I almost forgot, Do you remember the shirt you requested last time but we were out of your size?"

"Oh yeah, did you get some more in?"

"Yes and I saved one for you in your size. Just remind me to give it to you before you leave."

Hermione nodded and gave her thanks as she walked over to Lucius. He already had about five shirts in his arms, still looking and laughing as he went along.

"Are you finding what you want?" she asked already knowing the answer.

"These are great, I've even found one for Draco." he said as he held up the shirt that said 'Spoiled rotten'.

"Boy is that the truth," Hermione laughed as she started digging through the racks with him.

An hour later they walked from the store with 5 large bags full of shirts.

"I cant believe you picked out fifty shirts." she said to him.

"hey you got 15 for yourself, at least I got some for Draco and Narcissa." he replied as he wrapped his arms around her and apparated them back to the manor where Narcissa and Draco were waiting.

"I got a few for you both" Lucius said as he held out the bags. He dug through and pulled out six shirts, three for Draco and three for Narcissa.

"44 of those are for you?" Hermione asked with a laugh

"What can I say, you've got me hooked on the damn things." Lucius replied


	7. Chapter 7

Last time:

"I got a few for you both" Lucius said as he held out the bags. He dug through and pulled out six shirts, three for Draco and three for Narcissa.

"44 of those are for you?" Hermione asked with a laugh

"What can I say, you've got me hooked on the damn things." Lucius replied

Now:

Lucius and Draco creped through the manor with stealth, it was close to three in the morning and the girls were sound asleep. Four days had passed since the make up incident and those four days were spent planning revenge for making them feel less then manly.

Hermione was the first to face the music. Draco and Lucius slipped into her room without a sound, they both had a job to do and quickly went to work. Draco walked over to her clothing and shrunk everything down two sizes, he then put a spell on them that prevented Hermione from being able to make them the right size for ten hours and last of all, he turned everything pink, it too would wear off in time.

Lucius went to her bedside and whispered a spell causing her hair to disappear, it would return in eight hours. Satisfied with their work, they went to Lucius room where Narcissa was sleeping soundly.

Draco repeated the actions on his mothers clothes, except turning her clothing gray. Lucius whispered a spell to turn her hair a bright fire orange and in pig tails that couldn't be removed until the spell lifted.

They gave each other a nod and silently went their separate ways.

A few hours later, Lucius and Draco met in the dining room, having only gotten a few hours sleep. They were tired and could hardly keep their eyes open, but they wanted to be awake for the screams and attempted murder that was sure to find them. They ate in relative silence, releasing a snicker now an then at the thought of the reactions they would be receiving shortly.

Narcissa was the first to wake, she gracefully got out of the bed and made her way into the bathroom. The first thing she noticed was the nightgown she wore was significantly smaller then she remembered and gray, when the hell did she buy something gray. She shrugged it off being to tired to care until she looked in the mirror. Her scream could be heard throughout the manor and probably through all of England.

Lucius and Draco didn't have to see her reaction, hearing it was good enough, both burst out in uncontrolled laughter, please their plan had worked so far.

Narcissa quickly made a mad dash to Hermione's room, She was not a stupid woman and knew this was the work of her husband and son. Hermione had heard Narcissa's scream and sat straight up in bed, just in time for Narcissa to come through her door in a tizzy.

"Look what they've done to me." Narcissa said right off the bat then froze. Hermione still hadn't realized her hair was missing and her long shirt looked like it was made for a 10 year old, but Narcissa did.

"Umm, Hermione," Narcissa started, looking at the shocked girl in the bed. "I think the boys have paid up back for the make up."

"Do I look like you?" Hermione asked slightly afraid to look in the mirror or feel her head.

"No, I'm afraid they turned you bald." She replied quickly. Hermione slowly raised her hand to her head and gasped at the feeling of her smooth head.

"I'm going to kill them!" she shouted as she raised off the bed, only then did she realize her clothes and screamed.

Draco and Lucius burst out in a second round of laughter at hearing the second scream.

"Five minutes before they come down and hex us." Lucius commented

"Maybe for mum, but Hermione will be down here in less time." Draco replied, knowing her temper. Lucius laughed again and continued to eat.

"Its all to small and pink!!" Hermione cried as she went through her clothes, "I cant go down there with small clothes and no hair, I look like a trampy alien!"

"Whats and Alien?" Narcissa asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll explain later" she replied, pulling on a bright pink wool hat. "but for now, we have to make ourselves presentable and kill them."

Narcissa laughed as Hermione pulled up a pair of pink shorts that threatened to cut off air supply and the shirt she had bought days ago that said ' Talk nerdy to me'. The shirt fit perfectly when she bought it, but now it was tight and came up just under her breast.

"I look like a... a slut." Hermione said, quickly covering her mouth realizing what she had just said in the presence of an adult.

"It's alright dear, I'm afraid I don't look much better." Narcissa smiled. "Come with me, I need to find something a little more decent then this." she said pulling on the fabric of the ugly nightgown.

Narcissa found a dress that use to be nice fitting, but now it was skin tight and came up to her thighs. She rubbed her temples before sliding on a large sun hat.

"Can we kill them now?" Hermione asked

"As you wish." Narcissa replied and they made their way down stairs.

The doors to the dining area were pushed open with a large amount of force, cause both Draco and Lucius to jump a little. Narcissa was the first to walk in, followed closely by Hermione. Narcissa approach with a calm voice and a smile.

"I almost forgot to tell you that Pansy is coming over today to visit you and your father, I'm sure she will be eager to take you up on your offer to take her shopping."

"I never invited Pansy over and why the hell would I take her shopping?" Draco yelped

"Because when I realized that you had shrunk our clothing and destroyed our hair, I decided it would do you both some good to spend time with the lovely girl." Narcissa replied with a smirk.

Hermione stepped forward and smiled brightly, "Narcissa and I are going out to breakfast and do a little shopping, we will be back later this afternoon."

Lucius and Draco both stood "You cant go out like that!!" they both yelled in unison.

Lucius didn't want his wife flaunting her body for every wizard in the world to see and Draco for some reason didn't want anyone seeing Hermione in the scraps of clothing.

The house elf popped into the room to announce Pansy's arrival, causing both men to pale.

"By boys" Narcissa said as she apparated herself and Hermione back up stairs. They knew they were bluffing, both had enough respect for themselves to just stay put.

"Draco, Mr. Malfoy." Pansy greeted as she walked in and ordered the house elf to bring her some breakfast.

Lucius rolled his eyes at the rudeness of the girl, just walking in and ordering the elves around like she owned the Manor.

"Where's Mrs. Malfoy and the mud blood?" Pansy asked

"Don't call her mud blood, and it is none of your concern where they are." Draco growled out. Lucius raised and eye brow at Draco but didn't interfere.

"They are shopping today and wont be back for some time." Lucius answered.

"Shopping? Why would Narcissa be taking the mud blood shopping?" Pansy asked, ignoring Draco's earlier warning.

Draco was tired and in no mood to deal with the twit, he stood and made his way over to Pansy, placing his face only inches from hers, " I told you not to call her mud blood, my mother took her shopping because she actually likes Hermione. Hermione has more wit and personality in her little finger then you have in your entire body. She is fun to be around and the entire family likes her so I suggest you refrain from calling her anything other then her name." He stood and walked back to his spot at the table.

"Oh, Draco, you don't have to play this game with me, I know your only trying to make the Malfoy name respectable again." she said with a dismissive wave.

Lucius couldn't stay quiet any longer, " I would like you to leave the manor _Ms. Parkinson, _While I would like to restore the Malfoy name, I will not do so be using Ms. Granger in anyway. My wife and I have respect for the witch as she has always stood up for what she believes in, no matter who was against her. I have over looked my past and realized that muggle born or pure blood, they have every right to be treated with the respect they deserve and Ms. Granger has proven herself to be more of a witch then you ever have or will be. Now if you would please leave my manor and leave my son and I to some peace and quiet – the house elves will show you out."

Pansy looked like she had just been deflated, she rose from her spot and walked out of the dining room with her nose in the air.

Draco let his head drop to the table and groaned "Were we really like that?"

"I'm ashamed to say we were, the difference is that we are trying to change while The Parkinson's will probably always be the same, even if Voldemort is gone.

Draco sighed and stood from his seat, "I think I'm going back to bed, I cant seem to keep my eyes open."

"I will be probably taking a nap as well, but first, I want to know how you feel about Hermione." Lucius asked.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked playing dumb.

"You know what I mean Draco, I've seen the way you look at her, I've seen the way you act around her and I also just watched you defend her – so I ask again, How do you feel about Hermione?"

Draco plopped back down, rubbing his eyes, "I don't know Father, part of me likes her and the other part is telling me to stay away from her. I just don't know what to think."

"I see" Lucius said standing from the table, " I will not tell you what to do, but I will say this; If you decided to like her, more then wanting to stay away from her, I can assure you that your mother and I will approve of a relationship between you."

He walked from the dining room and made his way upstairs. Draco sat for another minute or so before finally heading back to his room, he had a lot to figure out, but sleep was first on the list.


	8. Chapter 8

Last time:

"I see" Lucius said standing from the table, " I will not tell you what to do, but I will say this; If you decided to like her, more then wanting to stay away from her, I can assure you that your mother and I will approve of a relationship between you."

He walked from the dining room and made his way upstairs. Draco sat for another minute or so before finally heading back to his room, he had a lot to figure out, but sleep was first on the list.

Now:

The next morning while eating Breakfast, a large white owl swooped into the kitchen and landed on Hermione's shoulder.

"Hedwig" Hermione cooed while removing the letter from his leg.

"Potters owl?" Draco asked

"Yeah, I'm really surprised its taken him so long to write back." she replied with a shrug. Hermione gave the owl a piece of bacon and sent him on his way, tucking the letter into her pocket for after breakfast reading. A few minutes later a second owl swooped in and landed on Lucius.

"Thats a beautiful owl." Hermione said as she looked closely st the large spotted owl. Lucius shrugged and removed the letter, gave it a piece of toast and sent it on its way. Everyone started to eat once again as Lucius read the letter.

"It appears we've been invited to the annual summer party at the Nott's Manor tonight."

"Thats short notice." Narcissa replied, "what kind of dress does it require?"

"It says casual" he replied

"What happens at these parties?" Hermione asked

"It's nothing fancy, just a get together. The men usually play cards and drink fire whiskey while the women...chat." Draco replied

Hermione nodded, but wasn't sure if she wanted to go, yes, the Malfoys had changed but what about the other pure bloods, what would they say if a muggle born came to the party too. She finished her breakfast and excused herself from the table so she could read and reply to Harry's letter. She climbed the middle of her bed and opened the letter.

_Hermione,_

_Are you telling me the Malfoy's are being nice? Maybe I should come to the manor and check to make sure your not under a spell or something. Anyways, everyone here misses you and hope that the Malfoy's will let you visit once in a while, Mrs. Weasley said she would make your favorite dinner if you can come one night. Everyone told me to say Hi for them. Write back soon_

_Harry_

Hermione could help but laugh at Harry wanting to check her for spells. She slid the letter under her pillow and laid back on the bed and fell back asleep. She stayed asleep for a few hours until she was jolted awake by a knock on her door.

"It's open" she said as she sat up. Draco walked through the door and perched himself on the bed.

"I just figured I come in and wake you up, we are leaving for the party in twenty minutes."

"What time is it?" she asked

"Almost four in the afternoon – you've been asleep all day."

Hermione laid back down with a thud, "I'm not sure going to this party is a good idea for me, maybe I should just stay here and write a reply to Harry or make camp in the library."

"You're coming Granger, don't worry, you can be my date." Draco said with a grin.

"Oh that'll work, The Draco Malfoy comes to pure blood party, with the number one Mud blood on his arm. I can see the uproar now." she said with a smirk.

"Just let me worry about that, throw on some jeans and a shirt so we can get going."

Draco got up from the bed and left her room so she could get ready. Hermione sighed as she stood, "This is going to be a disaster" she said to herself.

Half hour later, the four stood at the door of the Nott's manor, "Don't worry, things will be fine." Draco whispered in her ear. She nodded and walked inside with a death grip on Draco's arm.

"Ahh, I'm glad you could make it" a tall dark haired man said as he greeted them.

"We wouldn't miss it" Narcissa replied with a friendly smile. Lucius moved to the side so Hermione was visible.

"This is Hermione Granger, she is staying with us for the summer." Lucius explained.

The man gave a quick nod and escorted the group in. Narcissa and Lucius started to mingle almost immediately, while Draco pulled Hermione by the hand over to the younger crowd. Draco seemed oblivious to the stares they were receiving, but Hermione noticed immediately. Women were whispering to each other, while the men would stop talking long enough to glare before returning to their conversation.

"I really don't think my coming here was a good idea Draco" Hermione whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because everyone is staring at me and I'm pretty sure they aren't looks of acceptance."

Draco glanced around quickly and draped his arm over her shoulder, "Don't worry, you will be fine."

Hermione remained quiet while Draco talked to the other slytherins. He was trying his best to include her into the conversations, but it seemed the Slytherins had their own ideas and would change the conversation before giving her a chance to speak. Growing frustrated, she made her way over to a corner to watch a group of men shoot a game of pool. She managed to watch almost a full came without being noticed, but that was short lived when one of the men stopped to greet her.

"Ms. Granger, are you enjoying the party so far?" a man asked that she had never seen before.

"Oh, yes, it's lovely" she replied, making sure she sounded sincere.

"Why aren't you over with the women?" the man asked, gaining the attention from the other four men standing around the pool table.

"I actually caught sight of the pool table and wanted to take a closer look, it's actually a very nice table, one of the best I've seen in a long time." she replied.

The man nodded and pulled out a chair for her to sit in.

"Sit and enjoy, I don't blame you for not wanting to be in the circle of the hens."

Hermione giggled and sat back while two of the men finished their game. She noticed that the taller man was very good at the game, hardly missing any shots.

"He's very good" she replied to the man.

"Yes he is, thats George Castalona, I don't think he's ever lost a game, but it doesn't stop anyone from trying. My name is Chris Stevens by the way, I was two years above you at Hogwarts."

Hermione studied him closely for a minute, "You know, I think I remember you now" she said with a blush, "I remember I was fascinated by your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"Yes, they are almost the color of the evening sky, I don't think I've ever seen eyes as blue as yours." she replied, knowing she was blushing.

Chris gave a laugh, "That seems to be what everyone notices."

"Ms. Granger" another mans voice called, "Would you care to join me for a game?"

She looked up and noticed it was George.

"I haven't played since last summer, but sure, sounds like fun." She said as she stood.

Chris handed her the pool stick he was holding to save her the trouble of picking one off the wall. She held the stick, calculating the weight. "Would you happen to know if they have and 21 oz sticks?"

" 21 oz, thats pretty heavy for a girl your size." George remarked

"Thats the weight I always play with, gives me better control."

George walked to the wall and pulled the 21 oz stick down for her. "This is the only one here, most of us use 19 oz."

"Thank you" she replied, taking the stick from his hands. Chris made his way to the table to set it up while George and Hermione chalked their hands and stick. George glanced up to see the table was ready and handed Hermione the cue ball. "Ladies first."

She took the cue ball and sat it on the table behind the second diamond. "Are we playing 8 ball, pockets called?" she asked. George nodded a response and watched with curiosity as she lined up for the break. The balls soared around the table, sinking one of the solid colored balls.

"Looks like I have solids." she announced as she made her way around the table, looking for her next shot.

"right hand corner pocket" she said right before sinking it into her called pocket. The men stood back, impressed at the girl so far. Hermione didn't want to run the table as she was not exactly in her element, she had no clue how they would react to a mud blood beating them. She lined up her next shot and purposely missed, hoping no one noticed. George did.

"Why would you miss a shot on purpose?" he asked, causing her to blush.

"I didn't want to run the table." she replied honestly. The five men looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"I will set the shot up for you again, As long as your playing me, you will play like you mean it." George didn't want her to hold back, he was honestly curious how good she was. Once everything was set back up, he signaled for her to redo the shot.

"Side pocket" she called before sinking the ball. She made her way to the other side of the table.

"Two way combo, left corner pocket." she announced as she sunk the ball. She was set into the game, not realizing some of the other men had noticed her playing and made their way over to watch, including Lucius and Draco.

"I,m going to jump the 7 and sink the five in the side pocket." she stated before popping the cue ball over the 7, knocking the five ball in the side pocket.

"I'm impressed Ms. Granger, Where did you learn to play?" George asked.

"My grandfather taught me, he had been playing for over 50 years." she replied, George nodded as she lined up her next shot.

"I'm going to attempt to bank in the bottom corner pocket, it's my one weakness." she said before missing the shot. George took his turn, sinking 4 of his balls before missing.

The crowd was getting bigger, yet she still failed to notice. "I'm going to walk the ball into the corner pocket."

"Thats an impossible shot!" Chris said, hoping she would change her mind.

"Its not impossible, you just have to make she you hit it with the proper amount of force and with the correct amount on English." she replied

"Your shot" Chris replied while stepping back, giving her a wink. Draco noticed and wasn't happy.

She lined it up and it seemed everyone was holding their breath. She pulled back and made her shot, the crowd was silent a the cue ball hit, making the ball roll towards to pocket at a slow pace, and when it dropped into the pocket she called, a few people cheered, including Chris, Draco and Lucius.

"Highly impressive" George replied.

She continued making shot after shot, running the table as she said she would, until it was time to sink the eight ball. George stepped back and smiled.

"It appears you've left yourself in quite the spot, you cant get a good enough angle to make that shot."

Hermione smiled a huge grin and took a step from the table. "Eight ball, right corner pocket," she announced as she placed her stick behind her back and positioned the stick to the proper angle, leaning with her back against the table.

"Just scratch and hope you get another turn." Chris said, knowing she was the only person to have come anywhere close to beating George.

She paid no attention and made her shot, sinking the eight ball into the pocket she called, winning the game. Chris excitedly picked her up and spun her around, "I cant believe you won." he laughed as she giggled.

"I'm glad to have played with you Ms. Granger" George said as he took her hand, placing a kiss on her knuckles.

"Thank you sir, I had a lot of fun." she replied as she placed the stick back on the wall.

"Your not going to play again?" Chris asked.

"No, I have to find my date, but thank you for the nice conversation." she replied with a warm smile before leaving to find Draco, which didn't take long considering he was only ten feet away.

"I didn't know you could play." Draco stated as he held his arm for her to take, making sure to give the proper Malfoy smirk to Chris, practically screaming HAHA, she mine Stevens.

"I've been playing for years, My grandfather started teaching me when I was 7."

"Interesting, would you mind having a dance with me?" He asked making his way to the ballroom.

"I'm not dressed to dance"

"Your a witch are you not? Transfigure your clothes to a dress."

She could have smacked herself for not thinking of that first. She muttered a spell and waved her wand, turning her jeans and shirt into a long, black dress and her shoes into black heals. They walked into the ballroom that was filled with people.

"Good grief, is everyone in England here?" she asked, earning a chuckle from Draco.

"There is always a lot of people at these things, but everyone comes to dance as the party comes to an end."

She nodded and followed him to the middle of floor. A slow song was playing, so he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and her arms around his neck. There were still a lot of people staring at her, mostly the women who considered her un lady like for playing pool with a group of men. They made light conversation as they danced.

"I've been wanting to ask you something." Draco finally said.

"ask away." she replied with a smile.

"I'm jut going to be blunt about this, would you consider dating me?" he asked feeling slightly nervous.

She smiled at him and laughed, "One condition...we take it slow and make sure it stays light until we decide if we want to be in a real relationship."

"Done" he replied, placing a kiss on her head.

They continued to dance for a while longer until Draco was tapped on the shoulder.

"Mind if I have a dance." Chris asked. Draco reluctantly released Hermione, giving her the choice. Not wanting to be rude, she took Chris's hand and let him lead her into a dance.

"So are you seeing anyone?" Chris asked instantly as he placed his hands on her waist, not wanting him to get the wrong idea, she placed her hands on his shoulder instead of around his neck.

"Actually, I am dating Draco" she replied

"Ah well, keep me in mind if things don't work out." he said, still dancing. "I am still impressed that you managed to beat George, after you walked away they talked about the shots you made, I think they were impressed with you."

Hermione giggled, "I may have impressed them, but the looks I've been getting from some of the women make me think I've overstepped a boundary or something."

"Just ignore them, some of them are okay, but most are just old, grumpy women."

The song came to a close and Chris released her, "Send me an owl if you ever want to get together for dinner or something." he kissed her hand and walked away.

Hermione made her way back to Draco who was grinning.

"Whats with the grinning?" she asked

"It's nothing really, I just think its funny you've been asked out twice tonight, by Slytherins no less."

Hermione chuckled, " I told him I was dating you."

"Did you now?" he replied with a smirk. "come with me, my parents are waiting for us."

When they arrived back at the manor, Narcissa pulled Hermione away from Draco and ran up the stairs with her.

"I've got those things you mentioned last night" Narcissa said with a smile.

"How many boxes?" Hermione asked with a smile.

"Two, It should be enough don't you think?"

"Plenty...It's funny though, I never pictured Narcissa Malfoy as a prankster."

"I wasn't, but since you've come, I feel like a side of me has been jerked back to life, I haven't had this much fun in years."

"Good, I'm glad. So I'll meet you in the dining room at midnight?"

"Midnight it is. Oh by the way, I'm glad you accepted to date Draco, I think you are good for each other."

Hermione blushed and smiled, "Yes I accepted, but I told him I wanted to take it slow, make sure we want to be together before making it a serious relationship."

"I think that was wise dear, I'll see you at Midnight." Narcissa said as she walked from the room.

Hermione pulled a quill and some parchment before climbing back to her bed, she had a letter to write.


	9. Chapter 9

Last time:

Hermione blushed and smiled, "Yes I accepted, but I told him I wanted to take it slow, make sure we want to be together before making it a serious relationship."

"I think that was wise dear, I'll see you at Midnight." Narcissa said as she walked from the room.

Hermione pulled a quill and some parchment before climbing back to her bed, she had a letter to write.

Now:

As Hermione had finished reading the letter for the 15th time, making sure she had put everything in it, she heard the clock chime midnight. Pulling her small bag over her shoulder she made her way to meet Narcissa.

"Right on time." Narcissa said with an almost evil look of happiness.

"Of course, did you bring the stuff?" Hermione asked

"You make it sound like we are making a muggle drug deal, yes, I brought the stuff." Narcissa said with a laugh.

"Good...now I know we were only going to do this little prank in here, but because they made me bald, I wonder if you would like to step it up a notch?" Hermione asked, grinning just as evil as Narcissa.

"Oh of course dear, what do you have in mind?"

"lets just say they will be jumping a lot and maybe a little sliding. First, lets put the poppers under each leg of their chairs and then we move...to the bathrooms."

They reached Draco's bathroom first, putting a silencing spell on the bathroom so he couldn't hear them. Hermione grinned as she pulled out a bottle of baby oil, plastic wrap and a bottle of spray menthol.

"Oh Merlin, this is going to be fun!" Narcissa said while jumping up and down.

Narcissa was the first to wake and made her way to Hermione's room. She needed to use the bathroom and didn't dare use the one in her room. Once she was finished, she padded her way over to Hermione's bed to wake her up.

"Come on, wake up." Narcissa said as she gently shook Hermione awake.

"Did I miss it?" She asked with a yawn

"Not yet, but we need to get down to the dining room, I put a small amplifier in each bathroom so we can hear the reactions."

"It doesn't amplify everything does it?" Hermione asked with wide eyes.

"No, just voices."

"Good, give me a minute to get dressed then we can go down."

They made their way down to the dining room and ordered their breakfast. They had only been eating with the first amplifier went off.

Draco woke up and made his way to his private bathroom. He was groggy and not paying attention to his surroundings. He pulled little Draco out of his boxers and aimed for the toilet, but when his morning pee seemed to just bounce out of the toilet, he jumped back in surprise.

"What the hell is going on?" He yelled in horror, stepping back from the evil toilet rejecting his pee. He looked a little closer and realized there was a plastic barrier preventing the toilet from doing it's job.

"GRANGER!!!" he yelled as he made his way back into his room.

Down in the dining room, Hermione had practically fallen on the floor in laughter.

"Can you...imagine...his face...when the pee...hit his foot?" Hermione gasped, trying to make the complete sentence.

"Thats nothing dear, at least he didn't sit down, but I know Lucius will." she said with a chuckle.

Draco quickly dress and sat on the bed to put his shoes on. When he stood to make his way down stairs, two loud pops seemed to come from his feet causing him to curse and fall to the bed in shock.

"YOUR MINE GRANGER!" he yelled from his room, causing Hermione to wail even louder, hitting the floor with her hand.

As Hermione heard his footsteps coming down the stairs, she quickly pulled herself together as best she could and slid back into her chair. The doors burst open and Hermione let out a small whimper, trying her best to hold it in.

"That was not funny Granger." he said as he made his way to his chair, "It has been years since I got pee on the floor and back then it was because I hadn't learned proper aim."

He didn't notice his chair was already pulled out for him before he sat down only to fall to the floor cursing loudly when four loud pops went off.

That was it, all Hermione could take. She had been holding in her whimpers of laughter for only a minute, but the sight of Draco hitting the floor, desperately trying to get away from her chair sent her over the edge. She couldn't breath and couldn't see because of the tears flowing from her eyes.

"Your face" she howled "Your face was priceless." she said as she literally fell to the floor, clutching her sides in laughter.

"Hermione, get up here, Lucius just went in." Narcissa said as she wiped her own tears away.

"I'm not sure I can handle it." Hermione said, "It's everything works like its supposed to, I'll probably die from laughing"

"What are you going to do to my father?" Draco asked.

He didn't get his answer as four loud pops went off and a thud.

"What in Merlin's saggy tits" Lucius yelled as he landed on the floor.

Narcissa was now banging her hand against the table and Hermione banging her head.

"He said Merlin's tits" Hermione bellowed, "I have to stop laughing, it hurts to bad."

Draco tried, he really did, but soon found himself laughing just as hard. They could hear his cursing as he wiped the baby oil from the toilet seat. The bathroom was silent for about five minutes before a loud "Fuck" could be heard. Lucius cursed the entire way down to the dining room, walking in bow legged.

"I demand to know what was placed on that toilet paper." He yelled, feeling his entire nether regions burn.

"Calm down Lucius, its just a little menthol." Narcissa laughed

"I will not calm down, a man's bathroom time is ...Wheres Hermione?" he finally asked

Draco pointed to the floor when a red faced, hyperventilating Hermione lay. She did her best to stand, but it was no use. She crawled closer to the door, trying in earnest to make it back up to her room. Lucius huffed and made his way to his chair and sat down roughly. Four more pops could be heard through the room and Hermione fell to her side, she was laughing to hard to even crawl.

Draco stood from his chair and scooped her up, taking her to his room.

"I believe we have a little letter to write to your dear friend Potter." He said as he plopped her down on his bed and cast a binding spell on her.

"Oh and silencing spell will due nicely as well"

He walked to his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. He climbed into the bed with her and started to write.

_Dear Harry,_

_I just wanted to send you a letter telling you that I'm fine. I actually have a bit of news for you. I have fallen in Love with Draco. He is the man of my dreams in every way. I wanted to tell you now that way you and Ron can get used to the idea before our wedding next week. I plan to have 4 little Draco's running around... great isn't it._

_Write back soon_

_soon to be Hermione Malfoy _

Hermione's eyes grew wide as she watched him write. "_You cant do that!" _she screamed silently. Draco grabbed her finger and pressed it to the paper while saying a spell.

"Now the letter is even in your handwriting." He said with a grin

Draco snapped his fingers and an owl swooped down.

"Take this letter to Harry Potter and don't stop till you get there." Draco said to the owl.

Once the owl was out the window and on its way to Harry, he released her ropes and removed the silencing spell.

"Harry going to flip!!" she yelled as she tackled him to the ground.

"Thats what happens when you make me pee on the floor." he said with a laugh

"This isn't over Draco, mark my words." she said as she pulled herself off of him and climbed back into his bed.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: To answer the question I've been asked the most...yes, I myself am a prankster and I have pulled the ones in the last chapter. word of advice, if you do these pranks, only do the baby oil to the seat in a large bathroom, my friend skip hit his head o the bathtub. The menthol part... look for a mild menthol...DO NOT USE BEN-GAY or any of those...my husband cursed me for two hours and as far as the poppers go, they do work best under the seat of a toilet, my mom almost killed me when I did that to her.

Last time:

"Harry going to flip!!" she yelled as she tackled him to the ground.

"Thats what happens when you make me pee on the floor." he said with a laugh

"This isn't over Draco, mark my words." she said as she pulled herself off of him and climbed back into his bed.

Now:

Two days after the letter was sent, Harry and Ron found themselves at Malfoy Manor.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, what do we own the pleasure of your company?" Lucius asked

"Where is she, where's Hermione?" Ron asked

"She and Draco went out, they should be back in a few hours. Is something wrong?"

"Yes, theres something wrong! She cant marry Draco." Harry yelled

"What in Merlin's name are you talking about...They've only been seeing each other for a few days." Lucius asked in confusion.

"Harry, it's true, she dating the ferret." Ron whined

"What makes you think they are getting Married?" Lucius asked

"She sent me a letter, a letter saying they were getting married next week, she even signed it Hermione Malfoy!" Harry replied

Lucius let out a healthy laugh, "I think...you two have officially been brought into a prank war. I can promise you that they are not close to marriage."

"A prank war?" Ron asked.

"Yes, Narcissa and Hermione have been pulling pranks on Draco and myself for a month now, it started a week after she moved in." Lucius paused for a moment to think, "Come with me to my study, I think we can help each other out."

Harry and Ron followed Lucius to his study where he began to tell the two friends of the pranks that had been going on since it started.

"You mean to tell me she and Narcissa plastic wrapped the toilets and oiled the seats?" Harry asked through tears of laughter.

"Yes, and the end results led to Draco peeing on the floor and myself, well I have a nice bruise. I believe the letter you received was from Draco in retaliation for his...aim."

"So how can we help each other?" Ron asked

"It's obvious, I still need to pay Hermione back and you need to get back at Draco for the letter."

"I'm in." Harry said without hesitation

"Me too" Ron replied

And the planning began...

Two hours later, Hermione and Draco walked into the dining room, hand in hand and froze at the sight of Lucius, Harry and Ron sitting at the table in fine dress robes. Harry and Ron noticed the hand holding but kept their mouths shut.

"Harry, Ron, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked

"We've come for your wedding, Your our best mate, we wouldn't miss this for the world."

"It was a joke Harry, Draco and I aren't getting married, we've only been together a few days."

"I'm sorry Hermione, but when you sent out that letter, it was signed Hermione Malfoy. In the wizarding world, that is a vow of marriage, you have been bonded to each other." Lucius replied.

Hermione and Draco's face dropped in shock

"Father, you cant be serious...are you?"

"I'm very serious Draco...there is no way out."

"This is not happening...it cant be happening – we still have a year of school!!" Hermione yelled in a panic.

Narcissa walked through the door at that exact moment "Oh good, Your back...come dear, we have to get you a dress, the minister will be here in an hour."

"An hour?" Hermione and Draco yelled in unison

"Yes now come along, the minister wont like being held up."

Narcissa pulled Hermione through the door and into her room. "I have picked out three dresses for you to choose from." she said as she waved her hand to the bed where the dresses lay.

"Please, I'm to young to get married, Draco and I aren't ready for this." Hermione pleaded

"I'm sorry dear, there is no way out of this...at least you will like you in-laws." she said a little to happily for Hermione's liking.

Hermione sunk to the bed in complete shock, "I start dating a guy and two days later I'm getting married."

Lucius, Harry , Ron and Draco were in the next room having almost the same conversation.

"Shouldn't you two be off trying to figure out a way to save her from Marrying me?" Draco asked

"Sorry mate, you know how these things work, I guess you just have to get used to us being around...you can be the newest edition to the golden trio – maybe we can even have you resorted into Gryffindor." Harry said with a smile.

"Yeah, and you can spend the holidays with us at the burrow. I'm sure mum wont mind making you a sweater." Ron added

"Father...pay someone...Hermione and I aren't ready for marriage."

"I'm sorry Draco, but it is what it is. Bedside's Hermione will make a great Malfoy and with her being your wife, the other slytherin she was dancing with will never receive an owl from her."

"She wouldn't owl him anyways, she has me." Draco said with a frown.

"Come Draco, it's time for the wedding." Lucius ordered

When they arrived in the the library, Lucius gave Draco a smile "I figured she would want to be married in a library."

Draco rolled his eyes and looked over to his father, then the minister, "I like her, I really do, but isn't there some rule about us being married so young?" he asked the minister

"I'm afraid not son, you are bonded, the wedding will take place."

Harry patted Draco on the back, "It's alright Draco, at least it's not Pansy."

Draco just stood there and awaited his doom. Narcissa soon walked in with a frightened looking Hermione.

"Ahh, good the bride is here." the minister said with a smile.

Narcissa pushed Hermione over towards Draco , who gave her a nervous smile. "You just had to send that letter." she whispered.

"Sorry, I didn't know" he replied

The minister wasted no time. "We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. I will now start the vows, Draco, do you take Hermione to be your wife, to love and protect as long as you live?"

Lucius gave Draco a tap on his head, encouraging him to speak,

"I d-do"

"And do you Hermione Granger take Draco Malfoy as your husband, to love and protect?"

Hermione looked to the ground and whispered "I do"

"Then by the powers of Merlin, I now pronounce you... Pranked by your parents,"

Draco and Hermione's head snapped up, "Pranked?" they both yelled in unison

Harry and Ron took off running, not wanting to be on the receiving end of whatever was going to happen.

"Narcissa, I thought you were on my side?" Hermione squeaked

"I was dear, but I couldn't pass up a perfectly good prank."

"You know what this means don't you?" Draco asked

"What?" Lucius asked

"It's now Hermione and myself against you two." he said with a smile, "Come my blushing bride, we have plans to make." he said as he pulled her by her arm and walked out of the room, leaving the minister and his parents laughing Hysterically.

Ron and Harry apparated back to the burrow, "She going to kill us you know." Harry said

"I know, but it was fun to see the ferret panic." Ron replied with a good laugh.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Remember everybody, they are in early July right now. Oh and I guess I should warn you, there is a little nookie in this chapter.

Last time:

"It's now Hermione and myself against you two." he said with a smile, "Come my blushing bride, we have plans to make." he said as he pulled her by her arm and walked out of the room, leaving the minister and his parents laughing Hysterically.

Ron and Harry apparated back to the burrow, "She going to kill us you know." Harry said

"I know, but it was fun to see the ferret panic." Ron replied with a good laugh.

Now:

"How many do we have?" Draco asked

"About thirty, we just need to set them all and the alarms in thirty minute intervals."

"So at 11:30, we go into their room and hide the alarm clocks?"

"Yes, and we need to place a sticking charm on their wands so they cant just place a silencing charm. They will have to find each alarm clock and manually turn it off."

"This is good, it will completely drive them nuts." Draco laughed

"I'm going to set the first group in thirty minute intervals, after that it will fluctuate from 5 to 20 minutes. They wont know when the next alarm will go off."

Draco and Hermione started to set each alarm, the first one to go off at midnight. Once they were finished with all thirty, they shoved them in a bag and headed for Lucius and Narcissa's bedroom.

Draco placed the silencing charm on his parents bed so they wouldn't be heard and Hermione placed the sticking charm on their wands.

"Here, you start on one side of the room and I'll start on the other." Hermione said as she handed Draco half of the alarms.

Draco hid one in the closet, under the bed, in the dresser and everywhere else they wouldn't be easily found. Hermione thought it would be funny to stick one to the ceiling, in the shower and behind the toilet.

"Hurry Draco, we only have five minutes before the first alarm goes off."

"Alright, just let me take the silencing charm from their bed."

The pair sneaked back to Draco's room since it was closer to his parents room and they should be able to here everything.

ooo

The beeping of an alarm went off and Lucius sprung to his feet, "What the fuck is that?" he squeaked.

"It's an alarm clock, Hermione has one in her room" Narcissa said with a yawn.

Lucius tried to pull his wand from his cane but it would budge. "Narcissa, use your wand and kill the damn thing, it's driving me nuts."

Narcissa tried to get her wand but it was stuck to the night table, "Mine is stuck too."

"Errrrr, You would think they would let us sleep before pulling a prank. I will say this is the worst one, I mean come on, we get woken up once...ohhhhhh, they got us good." Lucius said sarcastically as he turned the alarm off that was sitting on the dresser.

Lucius crawled back into bed and covered up again to go back to sleep.

ooo

"That was funny, he's only expecting one" Hermione laughed

"Well, we got another half hour before the second one goes off, sooooooo, how about a little game of poker?"

"You know how to play poker?" she asked

"Ummm, yeah" he replied with raised eyebrows.

"Fine, pick the game."

"five card...strip poker."

"STRIP POKER? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"I'm serious, unless of course...your afraid." he said with a teasing voice

"Deal the damned cards."

Draco pulled the cards off of his desk and jumped back on the bed. He shuffled the cards and dealt.

"I need two cards" she said as she discarded the two she didn't need.

"Only two...you are lookin to lose your clothes."

"Just give me the cards Malfoy."

"Malfoy, when did it become Malfoy again?" he said with a laugh

"When you decided to try and make me take off my clothes."

"Alright Granger, what do you have?"

"read em and weep." she replied as she placed her cards down, revealing three aces.

"Dammit, alright, what do you want?"

"Socks"

"You can make me take off any piece of clothing you want and you choose socks?"

"yep, now lemme see some bare feet."

Draco grinned as he took his socks off, she may be going for the small things but he wasn't.

"Draco, the second alarm will be going off any second now." Hermione whispered as she made her way to his door and pressed her ear against it.

ooo

Beep...beep...beep

"What the hell? I'm going to get those...monsters." Lucius shouted as he landed on the floor from being startled.

"It's coming from the bathroom, just turn it off and come back to bed."

Lucius grumbled the entire way to the bathroom, turned the alarm off and threw it in the trash.

"He called us monsters!" Draco laughed, "come on, lets play another hand."

The pair crawled back into his bed.

"Loser deals" Hermione quickly said

"Fine, I'm going to get you this time."

Draco dealt the second hand and smiled smugly at the cards he had.

"Alright Hermione, need any cards?"

"Yeah get me three." she said in a voice that was clearly hopeful to get something good.

"lay them out and let me see." Draco said with a smile

"I have nothing" she said as she placed her cards down

"I've got a flush" he grinned, "Now off with the shirt"

"hey, I went easy on you." she huffed

"I wont go as easy." He grinned

She stood and pealed her shirt off, leaving Draco grinning like a kid in a candy store.

After a few more hands, leaving Draco in only his boxers and Hermione in a bra and knickers.

"Alarm time" Draco said as he got up from the bed.

Hermione pulled his sheet around her and walked to the door.

ooo

Beep...beep...beep...

"Oh for fucks sake" Lucius growled

"It's on the ceiling dear." Narcissa frowned while pointing the the clock.

Lucius grabbed a chair and pulled the alarm down, smashing it on the floor.

"Damn trouble makers" he growled crawling back into bed.

Ooo

"The next three will go off in five minute intervals" Hermione laughed

"Then we should stay by the door and wait" Draco said as he moved to stand behind her, pulling her body into his. Hermione tensed, but didn't pull away.

The next three alarms went off causing cursing from not only Lucius, but this time Narcissa, but Hermione and Draco weren't listening as Draco started kissing her neck.

Lucius stormed from the bedroom and into the hallway, "Bucky" he called as a tired house elf appeared.

"Put a locking charm on both Hermione's and Draco room, I don't want either let out until morning."

"Yes Master Malfoy" the elf replied before placing a strong sealing charm on the doors. Lucius walked back into the bedroom and started searching for the alarms, he found all but one. He crawled back into bed and smiled to himself, confident he had them all.

Twenty minutes later, the last blasted alarm was going off from under the bed. "They are going to pay for this." He said as he crawled under the bed.

Ooo

"Draco, I think I should go back to my room, or something is going to happen." she whispered as he was kissing her neck and rubbing between her legs.

"Then go quickly, or I wont be able to stop." He replied, feeling more aroused then he could remember.

Hermione broke away and went for the door, but when she pulled and it didn't open, she turned to Draco with wide eyes.

"We've been locked in."

"by who, my parents cant use their wands for another three hours."

"Look Draco, the doors been sealed"

"The house elves, I bet he got one of them to do it." Draco said as he jumped for joy on the inside. "Come on, the door wont open." Draco stated as he held his hand out for Hermione.

She walked back towards Draco, who immediately pulled her into another kiss. She didn't fight it, her only chance of stopping was to leave the room and with that no longer being an option she feel into the kiss. The relationship was early, but the urge was strong. The kisses made her mouth tingle and her toes curl. Draco backed her up to the edge of the bed, unclasping her bra while they walked. She fell backwards onto the bed, Draco falling down beside her.

"Draco, I- I've never done this before." she whispered, knowing what this was leading to.

"Do you want me to stop? I will if you don't want to go any further." He replied while kissing down her chest.

"If you stop, I think I'll bust, I guess I'm just scared." she answered honestly.

"Just do what comes natural love."

Hermione nodded as he continued kissing down her body. He decided not to scare her for her first time and kissed back up, placing his hand in her knickers where his mouth was originally heading. He used his middle finger to explore her, testing to see how ready she was.

"I think your ready." he whispered in her ear. He crawled down her body and slowly removed the final barrier that was separating them. He removed his boxers and positioned himself between her legs.

"Just go slow until I get use to it" she requested

"I will, don't worry."

He slowly pressed inside her, going only a little at a time. He pushed through her hymen and kept completely still as her body tensed.

"Just give me a minute, the pain is slowly fading."

It felt like an eternity for Draco but in reality it was only a minute or two before she gave him the okay to continue. He continued to go slow, pushing in and pulling out gently.

"How does it feel?" He asked trying to see if she was still in pain.

"No talking, just go faster." she replied

Draco complied and started to go a little faster, slowing working up speed. Hermione was still in a small amount of pain, but the pleasure Draco was creating pushed that out of her mind. Draco could feel her muscles starting to contract around him, making him go faster and harder.

"Oh gods Draco, don't stop what your doing." she panted as she started to reach her peak. Draco could feel what was happening and continued his pace. As she arched off the bed and gasped, Draco rode her through her orgasm, quickly falling into his as her muscles clamped around him.

"fuck, Hermione" he panted as he shot deep inside her.

He didn't move off of her immediately, instead he pressed his lips to hers.

"That was fucking outstanding" he said when he pulled away from her.

"I'll have to thank that house elf in the morning." she replied with a smile as she snuggled close to him. He pulled the blankets over them both and wrapped his arms around her.

"Good night Hermione" Draco said with a kiss on her head

"Night Draco," she replied with a yawn as she drifted off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry guys, they don't get caught…….yet. Oh by the way, you will see the words Moobs in this chapter so in case you don't know, it's a shorted version of man boobs. I also hope this chapter doesn't confuse anyone.

Last time: "Good night Hermione" Draco said with a kiss on her head

"Night Draco," she replied with a yawn as she drifted off to sleep

Now:

Second week in July……

Hermione woke from her sleep as the sun shined brightly into her room. A week had passed since she and Draco placed the alarms in his parent's room. She laughed at how Lucius was still livid the next morning, not getting enough beauty sleep.

She slipped from her bed cautiously, looking around to see if Narcissa and Lucius had taken their revenge from that night of sleeplessness. The fact that they had not done anything made her more nervous, waiting for the snakes to strike.

She walked into her bathroom, swiping her finger across the seat of the toilet, lifting the seat looking for anything out of sorts. She hated checking everything to make sure she was safe but she knew they would get her and Draco back, one way or another.

Draco had been having the same concerns Hermione was. He checked everything, including using his broom to poke around in his closet before reaching his hand in for clothes. He knew his parents better then anyone and whatever they were planning wasn't good.

He noticed a lot of whispering between them during that week. His mother's eyes would light up and Lucius would chuckle when they were planning, making both Hermione and himself crazy.

Hermione dressed and left her room but not before looking around the corner of her door. She walked to Draco's room and gave a soft knock.

"Who there?" Draco asked in a worried voice

"It's just me, let me in." Hermione replied

Hermione heard Draco mutter a spell and the door swung open. Draco was standing on the bed, broom in hand like a sword when she walked in.

"Good grief Draco, even if it was your parents, what are you going to do? Poke them into submission."

"I'm telling you, they are up to something and it's not good." Draco replied as he lowered his weapon.

"Well, I'm positive they are up to something as well, but at this moment, I'm hungry and want to go down and eat."

Draco nodded and stepped off of his bed, then walked to his closet where he thrashed the broom around until he was sure it was safe. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt, they left for the dining room figuring they were safer in numbers.

When they walked through the double doors, they instantly tensed when they noticed the room empty. A note was sitting on the table address to them.

_Draco and Hermione,_

_We've gone to do a bit of shopping for some new tee shirts. We will be back around noon._

_Lucius and Narcissa_

Draco instantly relaxed knowing they weren't in the house anywhere, but Hermione stayed on guard.

Their breakfast appeared in front of them and both dug in quickly so they could go for a swim in the lake. The lake had almost became a favorite past time for them, allowing them to talk without worrying about being pranked or spied on, they could actually let their guards down when they were out there.

Unfortunately for them, they wouldn't make it to the lake today because as they finished their juice, they felt a strong curtain of magic fall upon them.

"They did something to our food!" Draco yelled before passing out. Hermione stared at Draco for a second before jumping up to check on him, but as she stood, she too passed out.

An hour later, Draco woke up feeling different…very different.

"Hermione" He croaked out before freezing in horror.

"Draco" Hermione called from the other side of the table before she froze as well.

"Oh god, Oh god , Oh god" Hermione yelped as she stood up, and realized she was in Draco's body. "Draco are you okay?" she asked as she towered over him.

"I've got boobs!!!!!, I'm not supposed to have boobs…… maybe moobs when I'm old but not now." He shrieked in Hermiones voice.

"Calm down Draco, at least we've seen each other naked before, we can handle this." Hermione tried to reason.

"You can handle this, but I'm missing some parts of myself that I'm rather fond of and frankly….I feel so wrong right now that its not even funny."

"So you have to pee sitting down, big de----." Hermione froze mid sentence,

"What , whats wrong?" Draco asked in a panic.

"I….ummmm… well you see." She paused trying to figure out the best way to put this, "Okay, you know the basics of women right?"

"Yeah." He replied looking at her confused

"Well, I happen to be in the middle of a cycle right now." She said as a blush appeared.

"No, No, No, your kidding right……please tell me your kidding."

"Sorry Draco, but until this wears off you are going to have to deal with it." She replied

"Isn't there anything you can do to stop it?"

"Don't you think I would if I could?" she asked, "I'll be right back." She shouted as she ran from the dining room and back to her bathroom.

When she walked back down, she gasped as she walked in and realized she was staring at what should be her.

"Draco, take these pills or you'll regret it in a few hours." She said as she shoved three pills into his hands.

"What are these?" he asked , looking down at the little round pill and the two off white oval pills.

"The little round one is muggle birth control, My cycles are usually heavy and painful but that pill helps things greatly and the two oval ones are a medicine called Midol. They control the pain."

"You expect me to take a muggle medicine…….for girls?"

"Draco, right now you are a girl." She replied while rolling her eyes

"I wont take them." He said as he put them down on the table.

"Fine, don't, but you will take the round one or else you'll mess my body up… I take that one every day."

Draco growled and shoved the little round one in his mouth and chewed, "That is the most vile thing I have ever tasted." He gagged

"They are meant to be swallowed whole, not chewed." She laughed

"I didn't know." He said in a bad mood, "I'm not a girl,……I'm not supposed to know." He slouched and crossed his arms over his chest before quickly placing his arms down by his side. "I forgot I've got boobs now."

"Most guys would be thrilled to have a pair they could harass for a day."

"Don't forget Hermione, I'm not the only one affected. You have to pee standing up, which means you actually need to use some accuracy when using the toilet."

"I've seen guys pee before, I know how it works."

"Who have you seen pee before?" he asked slightly angry

"Oh calm down, I've stayed at the burrow before, I've seen both Harry and Ron pee."

"I don't even want to know." He huffed, "I mean, first you tell me Potter isn't small down stairs and now you tell me you've seen them both pee."

"How do you think I knew he wasn't small down there, I've accidentally walk in on both of them at one time or another." She smiled and laughed, "Come to think of it, Ron isn't small either."

"I've heard enough, my ears are now bleeding, thanks though." He said sarcastically

She stared at him for a minute, "Come on, I need to show you what to do when you use the restroom."

"I don't want to know,….I'm going to be the only guy at hogwarts that will know what it feels like to get a period."

"Quit whining and lets go."

Draco followed Hermione up the stairs and into her bathroom where she sat Draco down on the toilet.

"I'm only going to explain this one time so pay attention." She dug around under the sink and pulled out a box.

"These are tampons, you unwrap them like this," she opened on to demonstrate, "And you put it…..on second thought, I'm not comfortable with you doing that to my body, here, these are pads, just put one down in the crotch of the underwear and pull them up."

"You expect me to put on a diaper?"

"It's not a diaper, and they work." She huffed

"Hermione…….this is sooooooooooo wrong, you realize this right?"

"Of course I do and your parents will pay dearly for this, but in the mean time, I need to pee." Hermione started towards the door to walk to Draco's bathroom, "By the way – you may want to check and make sure your not bleeding through."

Draco cringed but knew he had no choice.

Hermione made it to Draco's bathroom and lifted the seat like she had seen Harry and Ron do. Standing back from the toilet, she unzipped her pants and pulled little Draco out.

"Okay, I stand back, spread my feet a bit and pee" she said to herself as she lined herself up to the toilet and let the pee flow. She peed on the back of the toilet, not initially realizing she was supposed to hold the thing for aim.

"Oh crap, I forgot I needed to hold it." She sighed as she grabbed hold and pointed it into the toilet

In the other bathroom, Draco finally worked up the courage to pull his pants down.

"Sweet Merlin, she must be dying to bleed that much." He thought with a shudder. He dug through her little bag on the counter and found a pair of tweezers.

"This should work" he grinned as he pulled the old pad off , gripping the edge with the tweezers. He sat back for a second and relaxed, feeling the urge to pee while he was at it.

"Hey this isn't bad, just sit here and let things do what they will."

He sat for a minute, just relaxing until he realized he had boobs, Hermiones boobs. Making sure the door was locked, he lifted up his shirt to have a look.

"That must hurt the back after a while, carrying these things around all the time." He said as he examined them. Just as he was pulling the shirt back down, he heard a yelp from the next bathroom then a stream of curses. He quickly put the maxi diaper on and shimmied the pants back up, running for the next bathroom.

"What are you doing to my body Hermione?" he asked as he burst through the door.

Hermione just looked at him with crossed eyes, "How do you live with these things," she said with a moan.

"What did you do?" Draco asked a little more panicked

"It got caught in the zipper a bit, don't worry, I got it out but it still hurts like hell."

"Lemme see…… You better not damage me."

Hermione stood and pulled little Draco out again, so Draco could check on his man hood.

"It's bleeding!!!!!" he yelled

Hermione looked down at the tiny drop of blood, "Oh stuff it, it's only a scratch."

"Is everything okay in there?" Lucius called with a chuckle

Hermione carefully zipped herself up and followed Draco to the door.

"How long is this going to last father?" Draco asked

Narcissa let out a howl of laughter as the body of Hermione called Lucius father.

"This my dear son in a woman body……will last two days."

"Two days," Hermione yelled from behind Draco

"Yes Ms. Granger….. two days." Lucius chuckled. He then looked down to the small witch standing before him, who was tapping her foot with haste.

"Yes Draco……anything you would like to say to me?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is…….You two are so going to get it when I get my body back, for Merlins sake I have boobs and she's accidentally zipping up my man parts."

"Draco, darling, This will give you both a chance to see how the other sex exist." Narcissa said with a smile.

"Yeah well, there are some things guys aren't supposed to know."

Hermione was fuming, not only was she not in control of her body the main time of the month she needed to be, but they made the spell last for two days. She stepped forward with Draco's wand in hand.

"Mr. Granger, what are you doing?" Lucius asked as he stepped back a bit

"Paybacks come early this time." She waved her wand and muttered a spell, causing Lucius and Narcissa to instantly switch bodies.

"It will only last a day because it's not a potion, but you should get a taste of your own medicine."

"Where did you learn that spell?" Draco asked

"They didn't call me book worm for nothing." She replied

Lucius looked down at the body he was residing in and smiled, " I have boobs………Nice." He grinned.

"See, I told you most guys would be happy."


	13. Chapter 13

Last time:

Lucius looked down at the body he was residing in and smiled, " I have boobs………Nice." He grinned.

"See, I told you most guys would be happy."

Now: Later that night

"Will you stop that!!!" Narcissa yelled

"Oh, for the love of Merlin – you cant feel it." Lucius replied

"It doesn't matter, they...are...not...toys."

"Well, until we switch back, I am going to enjoy them." He said while groping his new found boobs again, "If I had a set of these, I don't think I would leave the house much." he laughed

Narcissa rolled her eyes, "Well, since you cant keep your/my hands off of me, I'm going to sleep." she said as she rolled over swiftly, accidentally squishing the new parts between her legs.

"Oh shit" she said as she rolled off the bed and into the fetal position.

"What did you do?" Lucius asked

"Squished them" she panted out

"You squished my boys!!!"

"Yes, now how in the hell do you men live with these things." she replied as she slowly raised herself back to the bed.

"We are born with them, we get used to it."

Narcissa frowned and lay back down, pulling things out of the way before she crushed them again, "I'm going to bed before I do anymore damage."

"Alright, sleep well. I'm going down to the kitchens for something to drink." Lucius replied

"Don't fondle my body in public." she warned before shutting her eyes.

Lucius walked down to the kitchen and found Draco sitting at the table, still in Hermione's body.

"Why are you up Draco?"

"Pain...cant sleep" he grunted

"Pain? Why on earth are you in pain?"

"Because, my favorite father-- you happen to switch me and Hermione at the worst possible time and I'm cramping like hell."

Lucius was temporarily confused at Draco's words until it dawned on him, "She is on her...umm...woman time?"

"Yes, and I'm dying." Draco replied

"My poor son...I didn't know." Lucius said, honestly feeling sorry for making his son deal with such a thing.

"Yeah, well next time...remember to hold off on revenge this particular time of the month." Draco said as he stood from the table, "I'm going to Hermione's room for her muggle medicine. Good night father."

"Good night Draco"

Draco made his way upstairs and into Hermione's room, where unlike him...she was sleeping comfortably in his body.

"Hermione, I give up...I need that medicine." He said as he shook her awake.

"I thought you would." she said with a yawn, picking up the pills from the night table. "Take these and come to bed with me, I know something that will help."

Draco did as requested and crawled into bed with Hermione after he swallowed the pills. She reached over and but her big hand on Draco' lower stomach, applying gentle pressure.

"Hey thats working!" he said excitedly

"It's my body, I know what it needs." she replied, yawning again, "Now go to sleep."

The next morning, Hermione woke up hoping she was back in her own body, but was instantly disappointed when she realized she wasn't. She crawled out of bed and walked to the bathroom, sitting down on the toilet.

"Shit...I forgot" she said as she stood up. "Oh no, what do I do now?" she said as she realized she had morning wood. She walked back into the bedroom and over where Draco was sleeping.

"Wake up, I need to ask a question."

Draco opened one eye and smiled, "Wont bend will it?"

"No it wont, a I really need to go...What am I supposed to do?"

"Wait it out." he replied with a laugh

"I cant, I'm going to burst."

Draco continued to smile as she started to do the pee pee dance.

"Oh for god sakes, I figure it out myself." she said as she stormed off back to the bathroom. It only took her a second to figure out a solution. "I'll pee in the tub" she said with a smile.

When she finished, she washer her hands and laid out the birth control pill and the two midols on the counter from him. She dug around under the cabinet and pulled out a new pad, placing it next to the sink.

She walked back into the bedroom and went for the dresser, intending on getting him a change of clothes. She pulled out a bra and underwear, then started to open the next drawer.

"What the hell are you doing going through her drawers?" A voice sounded from behind her. She spun around and found Harry and Ron glaring at her.

"It's not what you think?"

"Really Malfoy, then what are we to think whens she is sound asleep in her bed and you are going through her clothes." Harry asked

"Harry, Draco and I have switched bodies. Lucius and Narcissa did this in retaliation."

"Prove it" Ron said

She walked over to the bed and shook Draco again, "Wake up, Harry thinks I'm raiding your underwear."

"Potters here? Oh please don't tell me they are both here." Draco frowned

"Harry, I think they are telling the truth." Ron laughed

Draco stood up from the bed, glared at Harry and Ron, then walked into the bathroom.

"You peed in the tub?" Draco shouted

"What else was I supposed to do, I've never had morning wood before." she huffed

Harry was the first to collapse in laughter, followed shortly by Ron.

"Oh god this is funny." Harry wheezed

"It is not... the male body is awkward and I cant wait to be back in mine." she huffed again

"Harry, I just thought of something." Ron Laughed, " You know what time of the month it is don't you?"

Harry thought for a minute before breaking out in hysterical laughter again, "Oh, no, no, no. this is tooo goooooooooooooooooood."

"Watch it Potter." Draco said as he emerged from the bathroom, walking slightly funny.

"Why are you walking like that?" Hermione asked

"Because I'm using those other thingies instead of that damn pad." He replied, temporarily forgetting there were others in the room.

"YOU USED A TAMPON!!!!!!" She shouted, "I told you not to, you don't know how."

"I can read Hermione, the instructions were on the box." He replied as he snatched the clothes out of her hands and walked back into the bathroom.

"You two are not to speak of this, do you here me?" Hermione warned

"You cant be serious... we've been waiting for years for something like this." Ron pouted

"Yes, I'm serious – not a word... and why are you here so early?"

"We just wanted to see how you were, it's not the same with you not being at the burrow." Harry answered.

"And mum wanted me to find out when you were coming for a visit." Ron added

"I talked to Lucius and Narcissa last week, I will be coming to the burrow for a day next week...Wednesday I think."

"You'll be you again right?" Harry asked, "I mean, we know its you but in Malfoys body...its just wrong."

"Yes things will be back to normal by then."

"Good, well see ya Wednesday" Ron said before he apparated back to the burrow.

"I would hug you goodbye, but it's just to weird right now." Harry laughed

"It's alright, I understand." she smiled as Harry waved and disappeared with a pop.

Minutes passed and Draco still didn't come out of the bathroom.

"They are gone...you can come out now." she laughed

"It's not that... I'm having a problem." he replied

Fear struck her instantly, "_Dear god he somehow managed to get the tampon in sideways."_ she thought to herself before running into the bathroom.

"Whats wrong?" she asked sharply before laughing.

"I cant get this thing on right." he answered as he spun in circles trying to see the clasp on the bra to hook it together.

"Come here before you make my body dizzy."

"Just think Draco... when this is over you'll know how to take them off and put them on."

"I could live without knowing." He replied

She hooked the bra right, making sure everything was properly holstered before finding some clothes for him to wear.

"Come on Draco...I'm hungry"

Draco gave himself one last adjust and held his arm out for her to take. They walked in silence to the dining room, still feeling awkward in the different bodies.

When they walked into the dining room, Lucius was looking down his shirt...smirking.

"Father...stop that." Draco shouted

"I wasn't doing anything." he said innocently

Draco rolled his eyes and groaned, "I cant wait till everything is back to normal...at this rate I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life."

Hermione and Lucius let out a laugh before settling down to enjoy their meals.


	14. Chapter 14

Last week of July... and back in their own bodies ;)

Last time:

Draco rolled his eyes and groaned, "I cant wait till everything is back to normal...at this rate I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life."

Hermione and Lucius let out a laugh before settling down to enjoy their meals.

Now:

"It's time Draco." Hermione said as she woke Draco from his sleep.

"It's tooo early to go anywhere." he groaned

"We need to leave before they question where we are going. We will get something to eat while were out."

Draco groaned again, but forced his way out of the warm bed.

"Give me a minute to get ready." he said groggily as he made his way into the bathroom.

Hermione walked to his closet and pulled out some clothes that could pass as muggle since they were going into muggle territory. She rooted through the closet, growling at the lack of choices he had.

"I'm making sure we buy you some muggle clothes when we go out." she shouted through the bathroom door.

"Doing I have too?" he whined as the thought of clothes shopping made him cringe.

"Yes, you have absolutely no selection." she replied, pulling out a pair of black slacks and a plain black tee shirt.

When he came out of the bathroom, he dressed quickly so they could leave before his parents woke up.

She took them to her house and was surprised to see her mother up so early.

"Hi mum." she said as they entered the kitchen

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" she asked before pulling her only daughter into a hug.

"Need to do some running around today and think it would be best to use my car instead of apparating." She moved to the kitchen table and sat down.

"Oh by the way mum, this is Draco Malfoy, the one I'm staying with for the summer."

"I was wondering if you were going to introduce him. Nice to meet you Draco." she said as she pulled him into a hug as well.

"Nice to meet you too." Draco replied before sitting himself down next to Hermione.

"So what kind of things do you need to do today where you would need your car?" she asked as she sat down in front of them.

"Well mum, Draco and I are having a prank war with his parents and it is our turn to get them back. So we thought of a few ideas, but most of the things we need to pick up in muggle stores."

"Oh, I love pranks, tell me, what do you have planned so far?"

Hermione and Draco went into the ideas they had come up with, grinning like they were insane as they explained the different things to her mother.

"Those all sound great, but I have one that may help you too."

"Like what?" Draco asked almost excitedly

"Hold on while I gather a few things." she giggled as she left the room.

Hermione mum came back in about five minutes later with a garbage bag full of hangers and a handful of things that looked straps with funny clips on the end.

"Can you get access to their room?" she asked

"Yes, usually they are in different areas of the manor during the day." Draco replied

"Wonderful, now listen closely..."

By the time her mom finished explaining, Hermione and Draco were nodding enthusiastically, absorbing every detail.

"Thats great mum, who would have guessed you had it in you."

"Yes well, don't tell anyone in case I need to put it to use someday." she laughed

The three sat and talked for a while longer before Hermione started with her good byes.

"tell dad I'll try to see him next time I come here." Hermione said with a tight hug.

"Aren't you bringing your car back here?"

"No, I'm going to take it so I can use it over the summer and bring it back before school."

"Oh, alright, well be careful and have fun." she said as she gave Draco and Hermione a final hug.

Hermione dug through a drawer in a table next to the door and pulled her keys out with a grin.

"Ready Draco?"

"As I'll ever be." he said in a nervous voice having never been in a muggle car.

He followed her out to the garage where she pushed a button on the wall causing a large door to open.

"Mines the black one." she told him as she grabbed the remote for her car so she could close up the garage after she pulled out.

Draco walked over to the side without a steering wheel and tried to open the door when a loud alarm went off. Draco jumped back a few feet with his hands in the air

"Did I break it?" he asked as she laughed and pointed another tiny remote at the car and pushed the button.

"It's an alarm, that way if someone goes to steal it they will hopefully be frightened away."

Draco walked back to the door and opened it, sliding in to the comfortable seat.

"This is much more comfortable then a broom" he said as he swished his butt from side to side.

"It's a Mercedes, it better be comfortable." she laughed

"Aren't those cars expensive?"

"Yes, but my parents could afford it and it was a gift, I had nothing to do with the selection process. Now buckle up so we can go."

He eyed what she was doing so he didn't look stupid. He pulled the seat belt around him and clicked the end into the do hickey. She started the car, checked the mirrors and the gages before pulling out of the garage. Draco sat silently, watching everything she did.

"Oh relax, I'm a good driver" she laughed

"I hope your better at this then with a broom." he laughed nervously.

They drove into town, stopping at a small restaurant to eat before going to the beauty supply store.

"That has to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen." Draco said as he held up a blond hair extension.

"Maybe, but your father is going to think he's losing his hair." she laughed

Their next stop was at a joke store, where they bought five boxes of glowsticks.

"And these are?"

"Glow sticks, the chemical inside is called cyalume, all we have to do is nip the end off and pour it over them without waking them up. These are super strong and will hold their glow for hours."

"They are going to kill us you know?" Draco laughed

"Maybe, but it's worth it."

The final stop was to a grocery store where they bought 10 boxes of plastic wrap.

"Ready to head back tot he manor?" she asked

"lets go." he said while rubbing his hands

They drove all the way back to the manor, while Draco played with all the buttons he could find.

"This one?" he asked pointing to the button on the door

"Makes the window go up or down." she answered

Draco started to play with the button, making the window go about half way down, before Hermione pushed the lock out button, making it impossible to roll the window back up.

"I didn't do it, I swear."

"I know you didn't, I can control your window from my seat." she said with a smile

They arrived back at the manor and shrunk everything so they could put it in their pockets without being noticed. Hermione took the bag of hangers from the trunk and shrunk that down too.

As they walked into the manor, they were alerted that Narcissa and Lucius had left for a few hours by a house elf.

"Good, shall we get to work?" Draco asked

"We shall."

Locking arms, they made their way up stairs and into his parents room.

"You strip off the sheets and I'll get the hangers ready."

Hermione set to work pulling the sheets off the bed, while Draco resized the bag of hangers. They placed hangers all over the mattress and remade the bed in its original condition, making sure the sheet holders Hermione's mom had given her were fastened snugly.

"right then, they rest will have to wait till they fall asleep." Draco grinned as they made their way back to his room to finalize the plans.

That night as Narcissa and Lucius crawled into bed, they were met with hundreds of lumps over their entire bed.

"What the hell?" Lucius asked as he jumped from the bed

He fought with the straps, eventually using his want to rid the bed of them and the hangers. Lucius crawled into bed, grumbling to himself, occasional saying something Narcissa could understand

"...Damn kids...pranks...beauty sleep."

Narcissa couldn't help but laugh and her poor distraught husband.

Some hours later, Hermione and Draco crept into the bedroom, placing a silencing charm on the entire room.

Hermione went to work, using her wand to levitate and move furniture to different areas of the room, while Draco carefully placed the long blond locks of fake hair around his parent head, occasionally wedging a clump into their real hair. Satisfied with that, He set to work on the glow sticks, pouring the contents onto their skin.

"Alright, all thats left is the plastic wrap." Hermione grinned.

They placed a spell over his parents so they wouldn't feel anything while Hermione and Draco wrapped them to their bed with the plastic wrap.

"Only do their feet so they can get out in the morning with only bit of wand waving." Draco suggested

As they finished, they opted to disillusion themselves and transfigure two chairs into make shift beds. They couldn't wait to see the reactions.

Narcissa was the first to notice anything was wrong as she tried to turn over but her feet wouldn't budge.

"Lucius, they did it again." she said without looking at him. He didn't rouse until Narcissa let out a loud scream.

"What...what?" Lucius jumped but fell off the bed leaving his feet firmly stuck to the bed.

"Ahhhhhhhh" he yelled as he noticed his skin glowing bright green.

"I'm green" he shouted

"So am I, get you arse back up here his instant." she shrieked

He did the best he could to get back on the bed without killing himself. Narcissa pulled her wand from her pillow, a flicked it so the lights would come on.

Hermione and Draco were doing the best the could to hide their laughter as his parents panicked.

"Narcissa, look at your pillow, your hair is falling out."

"So is yours Lucius." she cried as she pointed to the large clump hanging off the side of the bed.

"I'll kill them, my hair, my beautiful hair." Lucius yelped as he blasted the plastic wrap from the bed and tried to run out of then room only to find a dresser in his way. Once they looked around, they noticed their furniture moved and wrapped in plastic wrap.

"Please tell me we don't sleep heavy enough that we cant here furniture being moved." Lucius said with a sigh.

He and Narcissa left the room to find Draco and Hermione.

"Come on, out to the hall way, I added a little something extra." Hermione whispered

"What did you do?"

"Greased the floors around out rooms" she replied

They reached the hall in just enough time to see Lucius zip across the hallway, "Merlin's saggy nuts" he yelled as he slid.

Narcissa was stuck in a spot looking much like a baby dear on ice as her feet slipped in all directions.

Hermione tried to hold it back, but she couldn't, she let out a loud laugh and made herself visible again. Lucius was the first to notice her.

"Your mine" he yelled as he slid back the other way, trying in earnest to reach her. Hermione quickly took off running down the stairs, Lucius hot on her trail.

"Come back here, you''ve made me go bald." he yelled as he chased her.

Draco and Narcissa finally caught up in just the right time to see Lucius snag Hermione by the waist and carry her back inside the manor under his arm, grumbling about damn kids...pranks...beautiful hair.

Draco tried to get her away from his father, but Narcissa put a body bind curse on him and took them both into the dining room. Neither could move as Narcissa and Lucius went to work.

An hour later, Hermione and Draco walked out of the dining room with blue Mohawks that were charmed to last two days.


	15. Chapter 15

Last time:

Draco tried to get her away from his father, but Narcissa put a body bind curse on him and took them both into the dining room. Neither could move as Narcissa and Lucius went to work.

An hour later, Hermione and Draco walked out of the dining room with blue Mohawks that were charmed to last two days.

Now:

"What is it Lucius?" Narcissa asked, standing 15 feet behind him.

"I'm not sure, but stay back until I see if its safe or not."

Hermione walked out of the manor and started towards her car, she needed a book she had left in the seat from the day before. When she rounded the corner, she laughed as she took sight of Lucius and Narcissa. Narcissa was standing back, ready to take off running at a moments notice, while Lucius put on a brave face and approached the large black creature, cane in hand.

"I'm going to give it a poke, be ready to run if need be." Lucius instructed to Narcissa. He moved a bit closer and gave the car a tiny poke on the tire, when nothing happened, he got a bit braver and poked it again, this time setting the car alarm off. Narcissa took off at rocket speeds, not even waiting to see if the creature was going to eat her husband, while Lucius stepped back cautiously, never taking his eyes off the creature.

"It wont hurt you." a voice came from behind him as she shut the alarm off.

"Stay back Ms. Granger, I haven't a clue what this is."

"It's a car Lucius, a muggle equivalent to a broom."

"Come now child, how could one ride this...this...thing."

Hermione approached the car, opened the door and climbed in.

"Don't feed yourself to the thing." Lucius yelled. Hermione got back out of the car and laughed harder then she could remember laughing.

"Come on Lucius, let me give you a ride so you can see its perfectly safe."

Lucius being the man he was, sucked in a deep breath of air, puffed out his chest and walked towards the car. Hermione opened the passenger door and told him to just get in and relax. Hermione then got in the driver seat and started the car, causing Lucius to suck in deeper.

"Relax, Draco rode in it yesterday and he's alive isn't he?" She pushed the buttons on the door, allowing both windows to roll down causing Lucius to whip out his wand, ready to hex anything that moved.

"You see Lucius, this is how muggles travel from place to place. It is perfect safe so you can put your wand away."

Lucius did as requested as Hermione put the car in drive. After a few minutes, Lucius relaxed and enjoyed the ride around the manor grounds. Narcissa happened to come back out to check on Lucius just as he and Hermione drove past. She quickly ran back inside the manor in a panic and went to Draco's room.

"Wake up Draco...It's eaten your father and girlfriend!!!" she shouted. Draco shot out of bed in an instant.

"Whats eaten them?" he asked

"A big, black creature your father and I discovered this morning. It was sleeping on the grounds and your father went to poke at it, the next thing I knew, it was parading around the yard with your father and Hermione inside."

Draco gave a confused look and went outside to check things out for himself.

"There Draco, the creature is right there." she yelled as she pointed to the car.

"Thats a car mum, Hermione is simply giving him a ride in it." he laughed. He waved his arms, trying to get Hermiones attention.

When Hermione pulled over towards Draco and Narcissa, who was still hiding behind her son, Lucius was grinning like a madman.

"This thing is great and Hermione has offered to to teach me how to operate one."

"You cant be serious... you'll get yourself killed." Narcissa screeched

"Oh come now woman, it's not that bad...Jump in a see for yourself." He offered as he climbed out. Narcissa refused at first, but Draco and Lucius agreed to ride with them to prove to her it was safe. Once Hermione had the three Malfoys in, she started to drive slowly, allowing Narcissa to get used to it.

"Fun... we are having fun." Narcissa reminded herself as Hermione sped up a bit.

"When can you start teaching me?" Lucius asked from the back seat

"As soon as you put our hair back to normal." Hermione replied with a grin. As Hermione started to turn, Narcissa grabbed the arm rest as if her life depended on it, remaining silent.

"Is there a place I can make a road way to get you used to how things work?"

"Use the back of the gardens, no one is ever out there and theres plenty of room." Draco piped in, "besides, I want to learn myself."

Hermione pulled back to where she parked the car the night before and turned off the car.

"I'll start making the road way while you boys get dressed."

Narcissa practically jumped out of the car, wanting nothing more then to get on steady ground. Lucius quickly turned Draco's and Hermione's hair to normal before going into the manor to get dressed.

An hour later, Draco and Lucius walked to the back gardens, ready to learn on the newly constructed road way, equipped with signs, red lights, speed bumps and speed limit signs.

"I go first as I'm the elder." Lucius said with a smile.

The lessons went fairly smooth except for the occasional slamming of brakes but other then that, Lucius and Draco appeared to be naturals. The practiced for a few hours, learning everything from parking between the house elves and parallel parking between tree's while Narcissa watched safely from the window.

"Well guys, I think you could probably take the driving test and pass." Hermione stated as Draco parked the car between two anxious look house elves.

"Driving test?" Lucius asked

"You cant drive on a real road unless you have a muggle drivers license which requires you to take a driving test."

"When can we go?" Draco asked, ready to get started

"Whenever you want?" Hermione replied. "and if you pass, I'll take you to a car dealer so you can get your own cars."

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but the next chapter will be Draco and Lucius driving test and the car dealer. I am trying to update all of my stories, today and Tuesday as Tomorrow I will be in a tattoo shop for most of the day. Happy reading..


	16. Chapter 16

Last time:

"You cant drive on a real road unless you have a muggle drivers license which requires you to take a driving test."

"When can we go?" Draco asked, ready to get started

"Whenever you want?" Hermione replied. "and if you pass, I'll take you to a car dealer so you can get your own cars."

Now:

The Malfoy men piled into the car faster the Hermione imagined. She explain everything they would have to do and made sure they realized a muggle would be riding with them to grade them. They both seemed alright with the idea, the urge to have a car of their own winning over anything else.

When they arrived, Lucius and Draco had to fill out some paperwork and were instructed what was to take place, looking to Hermione to make sure the information was correct. The first to test was Draco, he walked around the car, making sure the tires were good to go before sliding into the driver seat. A short, stubby bald man slid into the passenger seat, clipboard in hand.

"Are you ready to begin Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

The man watched Draco check the mirror, the blinker thingies and the gages before snapping his seat belt shut and starting the car.

"Very good Mr. Malfoy, you'd be surprised on ow many over look the safety of their vehicles." the man stated with a toothless grin, causing Draco to laugh mentally.

Draco made his way to the start of the course, making sure he didn't screw anything up. Draco made sure he turned his blinker on when he turner or switched lanes, came to a complete stop at a stop sign or traffic light then counted to three before accelerating to the next part of the course.

The man sat silently, marking the clip board as they went.

"Am I passing yet?" Draco asked

"Almost son, we still need to see how well you do at parking."

Draco cringed as the man called him son,

"I want you to park between those two orange cones, without hitting them."

"Those tiny cones? They are much smaller the the house el...err, umm, house plants we were using." Draco stated, glad he caught his slip up.

Draco used extra concentration as he parked perfectly between the cones and placed the car in park.

"Very well, Draco, I am passing you. You will need to take this paper inside and they will issue your license."

Draco drove back to the beginning of the course so Lucius could take his test.

"How'd you do?" Hermione asked

"I passed" he replied, holding up the little yellow paper.

Hermione squealed and jumped into his arms, placing tiny kisses on his face. Lucius rolled his eyes at the affection she was showing while the bald man smiled, "Young Love" he said as he wiped a tear from his eyes.

"_What a fruit"_ Lucius thought to himself before climbing into the driver seat, checking everything before he started.

Lucius fastened the seat belt and drove to the beginning of the course, waiting for further instructions.

"Have you ever had a license before?" the man asked Lucius

"No, this will be my first."

The man gave Lucius a funny look, "A little old to just get around to getting your license." the man stated, earing a growl from Lucius.

The test started and Lucius maneuvered the car as needed, stopping and yielding when required.

"Alright Mr. Malfoy, please park between the cones."

Lucius did as requested and parked flawlessly.

"Congratulations, you have passed." the man stated.

Lucius nodded and Drove back over to Draco and Hermione, still fuming about the man comment on his age. As Lucius parked the car, the man handed him the paper so he could get his license.

"Thank you" Lucius replied before growing a smirk, "You may want to consider using soap when you bathe, you smell like rotting cheese."

The man gave Lucius a go to hell look before stomping off.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked

"He said I was old, I'm a Malfoy, we never grow old." he stated, pointing his nose up.

Hermione chuckled, "come on children, lets get you licenses."

Thirty minutes later, the three walked out of the drivers license office, two of which were frowning.

"It's not that bad." Hermione laughed

"Not that bad? My picture looks like a mug shot." Lucius frowned

"At least the light didn't make your hair look like it was glowing, I look like a bloody light bulb." Draco stated.

Hermione rolled her eyes and drove the pair to a car dealership that specialized in exotic and well made cars. They were greeted by a man, only a few years older then Draco and Hermione. The man seemed to move past Draco and Lucius, quickly grabbing Hermione's hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles. If looks could kill, the man would have been dead twice from the looks Draco and Lucius cast his way.

"I'm Tom, how may I help you today?"

"We are looking for two cars and I would be most appreciative if you would take your lips from my girlfriends hand." Draco growled

"Sorry sir, I didn't realize this lovely young lady was taken." he said with a wink in her direction.

"_I must not hex, I must not hex, I must not hex_" Draco repeated in his mind.

Tom quickly made an assessment of the two men before showing them to a few cars.

"Any color preference?"

"Black" both replied in unison

"Any price range?"

"Money isn't an object" Lucius stated

"But I wont allow them to be taken for a ride Tom, I know the value of the cars." Hermione interjected.

"I would never even think to try such a thing." Tom replied, lying through his teeth.

Lucius eye was instantly caught by a huge car, "What is that?" he asked, pointing to a black hummer.

"This is a hummer, very well built but takes a bit more fuel then normal cars."

Lucius turned to Hermione, "Does it look manly to you?"

Hermione laughed, "Yes it looks manly."

"Good, I'd like to give it a good look."

Tom opened the hummer, giving Lucius free range to inspect the vehicle. By the time Tom turned around, Draco and Hermione had made their way over to a black BMW.

"is this a worthy brand?" Draco asked

"Yes, its a good as mine" Hermione replied

Tom approached the pair, Draco instantly grabbing Hermione hand to show he wasn't to be trifled with. Tom smirked at the gesture, but didn't allow Draco to see.

"This is a nice sized car, one of the best made."

"I'd like to see the inside a little closer." Draco stated in an even tone

Tom opened the car, allowing both Hermine and Draco to enter. They quietly discussed the features of the car, but were broken from their quite talk by the sound of a loud horn. They glanced up to see Lucius drive by with a huge grin on his face.

"He's like a little kid" Draco laughed

"I'll say"

Tom was watching Lucius, knowing he had a sale and he intended to hike up the price just a little, hoping Hermione wouldn't notice. Draco decided he liked the beamer, and planned to purchase it.

The three followed Tom into his office to start the paperwork. When Tom left to get something, Hermione quickly grabbed the papers giving them a quick look over and instantly noticed the prices were a little high.

"When he come back, let me deal with him" Hermione warned

They agreed and watched Hermione turn into a deal maker in a second.

"If you will just fill out these papers, we can get you into your new cars are on you way." Tom said as he entered the office.

"Just a minute Tom" Hermione started, " I happen to look at the prices and they seem to be a bit...inflated." She stood to square up with him, "Tell me, is this the best you can do?"

Tom knew he was busted, but wanted to save his sale.

"I may be able to budge a little on the price." he answered

"I'm glad because when I see the M.S.R.P, I wonder where the extra money is going."

"_Shit, no one ever checks that"_ Tom thought to himself.

"We charge extra for detailing the vehicles before they leave the lot." he offered, trying to cover his ass.

"well I can assure you, we do not need a brand new car to be detailed."

Tom finally relented and lowered the price down to what they were supposed to be. Lucius and Draco signed the papers and paid for the cars in muggle currency. They followed Hermione back to the manor in their new cars, grinning the entire way. Narcissa was waiting for them when they got back and quickly fainted at the sight of the three black monsters consuming her family.


	17. Chapter 17

Last time:

Tom finally relented and lowered the price down to what they were supposed to be. Lucius and Draco signed the papers and paid for the cars in muggle currency. They followed Hermione back to the manor in their new cars, grinning the entire way. Narcissa was waiting for them when they got back and quickly fainted at the sight of the three black monsters consuming her family.

Now:

"Don't you think this prank is going a little too far?" Narcissa asked

"Woman, it has taken me a week to arrange this little prank and a few pulled strings, this prank is going down."

"And Severus is willing to go along with this?"

"Willing... he seemed almost eager when I asked him." Lucius laughed.

"I don't know how you managed it all, but I wont let it go on for too long, I don't want them having emotional break downs or anything."

"fine, fine, but I will have my fun."

Lucius and Narcissa continued to plan, not noticing the two teens listening around the corner. Draco waved to Hermione to follow him up to the bedroom.

"What do you think they've planned?" Hermione asked

"I don't know, but whatever it is, its bad. Just go along with anything regarding uncle Severus."

Hermione nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Hey, don't stress. At least we know who one of the key players is in this." Draco said, sitting down next to her.

"I know, I know, its just harder when you know they are planning something."

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough, but for now, it's late and we need to sleep."

"I'm sleeping in here tonight, just in case."

"I don't mind." he laughed, wriggling his eyebrows. Hermione rolled her eyes and removed her shoes, socks , pants and bra, leaving her in knickers and a tee shirt. Draco practically dived onto the bed in only his boxers.

"You act like a child sometimes" she smirked

"No talk, bed cold, under covers, now" he ordered in mock seriousness.

Hermione rolled her eyes again and climbed into the bed, settling herself as close to Draco as possible. She and Draco were getting closer and closer, neither ready to call it love, but both knew something was there. Draco snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her closer then she already was.

"Draco, you do realize that we are separate people right?" she asked

"Yeah why?"

"Because I feel like we are molded together and not to mention I cant breath." she chuckled.

"Sorry about that" he said, releasing his grip on her a little. Hermione wasn't stupid by any means, and when Draco started kissing her neck, she knew she wouldn't be going to sleep right away. She turned over to face him, wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered her mouth to his. They weren't in a frenzy like most people their age, but being as close as they were, living together, spending all of their time together, they had learned about respect and decided to treat the relationship in the same way. Draco rolled on top of her after removing both their clothing and slid inside of her slowly, enjoying every bit of the girl he never thought he would care for. Every move was deliberate, not a jerky, typical roll in the sack. The had sex with meaning even if they didn't quite know what that meaning was yet.

The next morning, Hermione was still naked and cuddled up close to Draco who had his arm wrapped around her in a protective sort of way and his face buried in her hair, both were sound asleep. Lucius and Narcissa made their way up to Hermione and Draco's rooms, intent on waking them up. When Narcissa opened Hermione's door, she instantly noticed the girl wasn't there.

"She not here Lucius, I bet they've already woke up and are planning their next move to get us." Narcissa said while looking over her shoulder.

"Or..." Lucius started, "I think we should be having a talk with our son and his girlfriend." He replied, looking into Draco's room. Narcissa walked over to the door quietly and peeked inside.

"Well there goes that theory." she said in a shock voice.

They closed the door figuring they would pick their time instead of storming in and waking the pair up, causing a scene.

"Come, lets go to the study and figure out how to handle this" Lucius suggested.

They walked together in silence, both had suspected as much, but actually seeing it was different, they knew for sure now.

"So I guess the first thing is do we talk to them together, do we talk to them separate or do we handle Draco and let Hermione's mum deal with her.?" Lucius asked

"I say we separate them and talk to them individually, I see no need to bring her mum into it, she may make Hermione leave and I like having her around." Narcissa replied

"Good point, if she leaves, I'll have no one to drag to the tee shirt shop." Lucius laughed, " besides, Hermione is helping us be a family of sorts, I've actually enjoyed having her hear as well." he paused for a minute, "Now if it was Parkinson, I'd rip her little body out of the bed and throw her out."

"I couldn't agree more. I actually hope they work out, I wouldn't mind having her for a daughter in law."

Lucius laughed at his wifes thought process, but he had to agree, he wouldn't mind having her in the Malfoy family either.

Next chapter...the talks


	18. Chapter 18

Last time:

I couldn't agree more. I actually hope they work out, I wouldn't mind having her for a daughter in law."

Lucius laughed at his wifes thought process, but he had to agree, he wouldn't mind having her in the Malfoy family either.

Now:

Draco and Hermione woke up to a note floating above their heads. Draco was the first to grab it and paled at what he was reading.

_Draco and Hermione,_

_Narcissa would like to speak with Hermione alone and I would like to speak with Draco in the study. Narcissa is waiting in the library for Hermione._

_Lucius_

Draco passed the note to Hermione without saying a word. He watched as her eyes went wide.

"Oh...my...god, they saw us." she whispered

"Looks like it," he replied, "Might as well get this over with."

"Cant we run, you know, go shopping or something until around three in the morning?" she asked

"Wont work, they would wait up for us are have the house elves wake them when we got back."

Hermione hung her head and slowly climbed from the bed, knowing she was getting ready to have the worlds most embarrassing conversation with her boyfriends mother. Draco followed her motions, knowing that he would dress and walk to his doom.

Both already knew what they were doing, after all, Hermione and her mother had already had this talk, and now she would be forced to go through it again. Draco on the other hand, knew what he was doing, but he wasn't about to explain that to his father.

Once they were both dressed, Draco gave Hermione a quick kiss and walked towards the study, leaving Hermione to make her way to the library.

Hermione finally opened the door after standing outside of it for almost five minutes, dreading what was on the other side.

"Good morning Narcissa" she greeted as she walked over to the blond woman waiting on the couch.

"Morning dear, I trust you found the note?"

"Er... yes, we found it." she replied as she sat down.

"Good, good, so I take it you know why I wanted to see you?"

"I think so" she replied as she started to blush.

"come now dear, there no need to blush, what you and Draco are doing is perfectly normal, do you think Lucius and I were innocent?"

"I – I guess not." she answered.

"Hermione, sweet heart, I just want to make sure you and Draco know how things work and make sure you are taking precautions against making me a grandmother much to early."

If Hermione wasn't already red, she was glowing at this point.

In the study...

"You wanted to see me father?" Draco asked, hoping his father would forget.

"Yes Draco, come in

Draco made his way to the chair opposite of his father and sat down with a sigh.

"So..." Lucius started, " I see things are going well between you and Hermione."

"Yes father" he answered, wanting the world to swallow him whole.

"Good, because that is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. I presume you and Hermione are taking measures to protect against pregnancy."

"Yes sir"

"Very well. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing, so don't think I'm angry with you, after all, your mother and I weren't exactly innocent."

lalalalalalalalala lalalalalallalalalalalalal" Draco thought to himself, trying to NOT think of his parents doing it.

"I didn't think you were father, but I can assure you that Hermione and I are taking the proper precautions."

"What are you using? Charms, rubbers, a potion maybe?"

"Hermione is on muggle birth control pills, she takes one everyday."

"_Make this conversation go away, make this conversation go away." _he though again

In the Library...

"How do muggle birth control pills work?" Narcissa asked.

"I take the pill at the same time everyday and it stops my body from ovulating."

"I see, and it works?"

"Yes it does as long as I don't miss any doses." Hermione answered.

"Interesting...Lucius and I always used a charm or potion." she offered.

"_No no no no no no, to much info, to much info, WAY to much info._" Hermione thought to herself.

"Well, I guess all that matters is that they work." Hermione said, trying to steer the conversation in another direction.

"Very true, so how long have you and Draco been at it?"

"_Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now."_ she chanted in her head.

"A month or so" she answered quickly

"And he treats you right correct?"

" _Death, I need death_" she thought, but answered, "yes, umm, very well."

"Good to hear, at least I know he wasn't to corrupted by our past."

In the study...

"Are muggle medicines reliable? Because if not I can always have Severus brew you some potion."

"_Don't involve anyone, don't involve anyone"_ he thought

"I'm sure the pills work fine." Draco answered.

"None the less, I'm going to floo Severus, I want to see what he knows about them."

Draco wanted to sink into the ground and never be found, not only do his parents know, but his potions professor and uncle will know. Draco waited patiently, knowing his father would involve Severus no matter what.

Five minutes later, Severus walked into the study with Lucius with a huge smirk on his face.

"Ms. Granger, huh?" Severus laughed as he sat down next to Draco.

"So Severus, as I was saying, I don't know anything about these muggle pills she is taking and I wanted to know if you had any thoughts on it."

"I believe them to be quite effective, however, I will gladly brew a potion for each of them, one aimed towards the female body and the other for the male."

"I would appreciate that Severus, I'm to young to end up a grandfather." he said with a shudder.

"Not a problem, not a problem. However, I need to speak with Ms. Granger and get one of her pills to analyze before I make her the potion."

"_Hermione's going to die of embarrassment"_ Draco thought to himself.

"Very well, she's in the library with Narcissa."

Severus gave a curt nod and stood, laughing so hard on the inside he though he was going to bust.

"I'll go speak with her." and with that he left.

"I feel better that he will be brewing you a potion." Lucius announced.

"Umm, yeah,, great" he replied

"So son, how long as this been going on?"

"_Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_" his mind screamed.

"About a month, give or take a few days."

"and she hasn't left, at least you know your doing something right." Lucius said with a smirk.

"_Oh sweet Merlin, I'm going to be sick."_

In the library...

"Hello Severus, what are you doing here?" Narcissa asked

"Lucius floo'd me, He would like me to create a birth control potion for Ms. Granger."

"_NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Snape cant know, oh god I'm dizzy."_

"What a good idea." Narcissa said with a cheery smile.

"It's not a problem, I just need one of Ms. Granger's birth control pills so I can analyze it before I create the potion."

"Oh, that shouldn't be a problem, I'm sure she will run along and fetch one for you, wont you dear?" Narcissa turned to find Hermione on the floor.

"Oh dear, I think she's died of embarrassment."

Severus couldn't take it and fell to the ground in fit of laughter.

"Really Severus, this isn't funny." Narcissa yelled

"You have no idea" he hissed out, holding his sides that were now burning from the force of his laugh.

"Pull yourself together, I need to to take her to her bed."

Severus eventually pulled himself from the floor and scooped up the great fainting Granger.

"She stay in the room next to Draco's...well, most of the time." Narcissa added, causing Severus to break out in a new fit of laughter.

In the study...

"Lucius, I need Draco to get me one of her pills." Severus said as he walked in the door, still holding Hermione and laughing.

"What the hell happened?" Draco asked as he shot up from the chair.

"She fainted when I mentioned I needed a pill." he answered with a chuckle.

Draco walked across the room, taking Hermione from Severus's arms.

"Fine, follow me" he said as he carried her to her room.

Severus, Lucius and Narcissa followed Draco into Hermione's room and watched in silence as Draco put her in the bed gently, taking the time to remove her shoes and cover her up, which didn't go unnoticed by any of the adults. He walked into the bathroom, followed by Severus.

Where does she keep them?" he asked.

"He new packs are usually behind the tampons, I don't want to give you one from her current pack, but their all the same."

Severus smirked again at the casualness Draco used when he spoke about female products.

"Yep, school is going to be fun next year." Severus thought to himself as he watched Draco pull the boxes from under the sink, finally finding the unopened pack of pills.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Went to a concert last night featuring Hurt, Seether, Three days grace and breaking Benjamin, I will be posting pics on my myspace tomorrow for any that are interested. They aren't great, but from where I was sitting and the bushy haired loch ness monster that was sitting in front of me, they are the best I could do... also wow, 50 reviews for the last chapter,,, makes me proud.

Last time:

Severus smirked again at the casualness Draco used when he spoke about female products.

"Yep, school is going to be fun next year." Severus thought to himself as he watched Draco pull the boxes from under the sink, finally finding the unopened pack of pills.

Now:

Severus went back to Hogwarts with the smirk still plastered on his face. The idea of Draco and Hermione was almost too much to handle considering how they treated each other the last six years of school. He decided to inform Albus of the newest status, considering the pair were to become head boy and girl in the upcoming year and would be sharing dorms. Severus continued to chuckle to himself as he made his way to the headmasters office, the picture of Granger fainting and Draco looking like casper was going to stick with him the rest of his life. He gave a firm knock on the office door.

"Enter" came the voice of Dumbledore

"Good afternoon Albus" Severus said with an uncharacteristic voice of happiness.

The headmaster looked at him and quirked an eyebrow, " Something interesting happen at the Malfoy's?"

"Very, Sir, I actually wanted to inform you that I will be brewing a potion for not only young Malfoy, but Ms. Granger as well."

"oh"

"Yes, it appears that your new head boy and head girl are... well lets just say, more then getting along and Lucius would like me to brew them a birth control potion."

Albus couldn't help but laugh, "Are you sure?"

"Positive, Ms. Granger actually fainted and Draco looked like Voldemort told him he wanted a kiss."

"Well, then , my plan actually worked, better then I had hoped, but it worked none the less." The headmaster replied with a smile.

"Plan?"

"Yes Severus, I knew who the heads were going to be and I planned specifically to have Hermione stay with the Malfoys, However, I only hoped they would grow to tolerate each other, not...well you know, but I guess it was bound to happen at some time."

"Why do you say that?" Severus asked

"Well, it appears there is a prophecy involving Hermione and Draco. You see, one night I was sitting in my office, thinking about how the two were behaving when the sorting hat started to talk to me. He told me that when he sorted them, he knew they were the two to end house rivalry, however, when I noticed how they acted towards each other, I figured the hat had somehow gotten into some fire whiskey and I pushed the conversation in the back of my mind. However, last year during Christmas holidays, I was informed of a prophecy that involved two enemies coming together and ending the house rivalry that has occurred for many years, as you know, and the conversation with the sorting hat came back to me full force."

"So your saying that the fact that are...closer, isn't going to cause a problem with them being the heads?"

"No at all my boy, I just wish for you to make sure they have the potions at all times."

Severus gave a laugh, "As you wish Sir, I will be taking my leave now, I must analyze this pill so I can make sure the potion I make wont interfere with the muggle medicines she takes."

"Very well, Thank you for informing me of the newest developments."

Severus gave a curt nod and left the headmaster, who was grinning like a child that had been told he was going to the fair.

Back at the manor...

"I do believe it is time to wake her up." Lucius said with a smirk, "She's been out for almost an hour."

"Well it didn't help that you two embarrassed the hell out of her, you know she is nothing like Pansy." Draco replied.

"We know that son, trust me, but your mother and I have become quite fond of Hermione, but it was something that we felt we had the responsibility to discuss."

"But involving Severus? He's going to have a field day with us now, especially at school."

"Perhaps, but in light of things, Your mother and I have decided to call off our latest prank involving Severus, we think it would be too much."

"And what prank was that?"

"Well, we were planning on having our paper from the Prophet announce a marriage law, and letters arrive with your betrothals, you were to marry Pansy and she was to marry Severus, but considering the circumstances, we have canceled that one."

"Thats just wrong." Draco frowned

"Your mother agrees with you on that one." Lucius laughed, "I'll leave you to wake her."

Lucius left the room and went to find Narcissa, yes the marriage prank was off, but that didn't mean he didn't have other plans.

Draco crawled into the bed with Hermione, gently rubbing her back trying to stimulate her back to the land of the living. It took a few minutes but it worked. She rolled over to face him, "Please tell me Snape doesn't really know."

"Sorry Hermione, I'm afraid he does know."

Hermione groaned and pulled the pillow over her face, "He's going to embarrass me, I just know it."

"Perhaps, but I think we have more important things to worry about right now."

"Like what?" she asked

"Well for starters, Severus was willing to go along with my parents pranks, leaving us two against three, and Severus is a bit more cunning then you give him credit for. I do however, think we need a third or fourth in our group, someone with a little more experience."

"Like?"

"The Weasley twins. I'm sure they could help us out and probably have fun while their doing it."

Hermione smirked a very slytherin smirk, one that made Draco proud, "Then I guess we need to make a little trip to visit a few...friends."

Draco gave a mischievous smirk, "Get dressed and we'll go, I happen to know my parents are planning as we speak and their plans are getting a little deeper then the normal pranks."

"How so?"

"My father informed me that they were calling off a prank that involved a marriage law, one when you would receive a letter to marry Severus and I was to receive a letter to marry Pansy."

"Thats just wrong." she frowned

"Exactly what I said, now hurry and get ready, we need to find our partners."

Hermione dressed quickly and the pair made a trip to the burrow. Hermione knocked on the door and was greeted with Fred.

"Hermione what are you doing here?" he asked as he pulled her into a hug.

"Well, Draco and I were curious if you and George would like to be involved with a long standing prank war."

"Who's involved?" George asked, walking behind Fred

"It was Hermione and myself against my parents, but now they've involved Severus." Draco replied

"As in Severus Snape?" Fred asked

"The very same" Hermione replied with a grin

"Were in" Fred and George said in unison

"Lets get to planning shall we?" George asked

Hermione and Draco grinned at each other and followed the twins inside, Lucius, Narcissa and Snape wouldn't know what hit them.


	20. Chapter 20

Last time:

"Were in" Fred and George said in unison

"Lets get to planning shall we?" George asked

Hermione and Draco grinned at each other and followed the twins inside, Lucius, Narcissa and Snape wouldn't know what hit them.

Now:

The four spent the rest of the day planning the newest pranks. It was decided to hold off on Snape until they were back at school but Narcissa and Lucius were in for it. The twins had fired off ideas in which Hermione and Draco added their opinions, compiling a list that was sure to make any parent have a fit.

"So are we starting tonight?" Draco asked

"Yes sir, we will be there at 9 to get things rolling." George answered

"This is going to be fun." Hermione laughed, thinking of Lucius expression at her part of the plan.

The four separated, all having things to do before tonight.

At 9 pm, George and Fred floo'd to Malfoy Manor with a burlap sac full of goodies. Hermione and Draco rushed the twins into Draco's room, hoping no one had seen them as the twins reputation was almost legendary.

"So, did you two complete your shopping list?" Fred asked

"30 singing greeting cards, 500 balloons and tape." Hermione answered

Fred grinned, "Well, lets get to it, we've got work to do."

The four piled on the bed for a work space and started tearing the music buttons from the cards, throwing them in a pile in the center of the bed. All of the cards played a muggle song, some more annoying then others. The next thing was the balloons. The used both magic and good old fashioned air to fill all 500. By the time they were done, it was midnight and time to get started.

The first they did when they entered Lucius and Narcissa's room, was to use the duck tape and tape all of their shoes and clothes together with a complete roll. Fred then placed a charm on the tape to where it could only be peeled off by hand, making magic useless. 

The second thing was to tape a greeting card button on the bottom of the boots Lucius wore everyday. They placed it in the arch so it wouldn't be detected, but it would strike the floor every time he would step down, turning the button on and off allowing the muggle music to play.

The four then place the buttons under the rug around the bed on both sides, Lucius and Narcissa were bound to step on them when they woke up, causing the different music to play.

The final step was the balloons, Fred and George magicked all 500 into the room, covering the floor and bed completely. Satisfied, they shook hand and parted ways.

Draco and Hermione decided it best to sleep in their own rooms, all they needed was for Snape or his parents find them and sit them down for another 'talk'.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Early the next morning, Draco and Hermione were awaken by the alarms they set on his parents. Their wands were charmed to buzz as his parents woke. Hermione ran to Draco's room and cast another spell, allowing them to see through the walls so they could watch how everything played out.

Narcissa was the first to sit up. She was groggy and not paying attention when she put her feet on the floor, yelping as skin hit latex.

"What the hell?" She said in an awed voice, looking at the hundreds of multi colored balloons, "Lucius, wake up and be careful, the kids got us again."

Lucius sat up in a flash, instantly feeling his head to make sure his hair was still there.

"They didn't get the hair this time." he said in relief before looking to the floor. "There must be 400 balloons in here.

"Not just any balloons Lucius, look at what the say"

Lucius squinted and read the message on the balloon, "Stink balloons? What the hell is a stink balloon?"

Narcissa picked one up and started reading the smaller print.

STINK BALLOONS

"Caution, do not pop within a week of inflating" Narcissa read.

"Rubbish, I am not going a week with these balloons all over." Lucius raised his wand and popped one to see what would happen. As soon as the latex popped, a smell equivalent to a muggle stink bomb flowed through the room, causing bot Narcissa and Lucius eyes to water.

"That is the foulest thing I've ever smell." Narcissa gagged

"I guess we cant pop them, can you imagine the smell from all of them" Lucius asked

"We can move them to another room." Narcissa suggested

"Good idea, I'll the house elves to do it after breakfast."

Lucius went to stand from the bed. The second his foot hit the floor, a loud, shrieking womans voice started singing.

"What the fuck is that?" Lucius growled as he lifted his foot, kicking balloons out of the way. "Nothings here."

"Something must be there dear or the music wouldn't have started."

"There is nothing here, all I see is carpet." he grew silent for a minute, "those kids know I'm not a morning person, why do they insist on doing stuff like this so early?"

"To annoy us. You know, I think I'm going to do a little shopping today and Draco and Hermione are long due for a good shopping trip." She said with a smirk as she climbed out of bed. Suddenly a new song started playing. She rolled her eyes and started walking again, kicking balloons on her way out, hitting a new button with every step.

"Argggg, this is so frustrating." she said with a stomp, breaking a trigger in one of the buttons making is squeal.

"A nice long shopping trip." she grumbled, setting off the music as she walked.

Lucius made his way to the bathroom for a shower and morning duties, "Narcissa, can you have some clothes out for me, I want to have a little... chat with our little love birds about torturing me so early in the morning."

Narcissa nodded and made for the closet, gasping as she opened the door, "Umm Lucius, It may take a while to get our clothes." 

"Why?" he asked as he walked over the the closet, he peeked in and fumed, "those little shits!"

A/N: I am sooo running out of pranks. If you have any you would like me to use, send them to me. I still have a few up my sleeves, but they are nowhere near as good as the ones I've already used.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I just wanted to say thanks for the prank ideas, there are a few I will be using. I will let you know and give you full credit for the prank when I use it.

Last time:

Narcissa nodded and made for the closet, gasping as she opened the door, "Umm Lucius, It may take a while to get our clothes."

"Why?" he asked as he walked over the the closet, he peeked in and fumed, "those little shits!"

Now:

"Come dears, I have a lot of shopping to do today and I will need help with the bags." Narcissa said with a smirk.

"I think I'm not feeling well." Draco tried, "I think it would be better if I just stayed here and went to sleep."

"I agree, I'm feeling a bit weak myself." Hermione agreed

"Nonsense, we will only be gone 7 or 8 hours, you two are young enough to handle it."

Hermione and Draco exchanged glances, wondering how in the hell they were going to get out of this.

"Or, You can go to Hogwarts for the day, Severus has completed your potions and I believe he wanted to speak with you both about them."

"_Shit, shopping or Severus, both are torture."_ Draco thought to himself.

"_ummmm, I want option number 3."_ Hermione thought, not wanting to go shopping or visit Snape.

Draco sighed, "I'd rather go to Hogwarts for the day."

Hermione glanced at him, "As in with Snape?"

"Yes, as in with Snape, at least it wont be 7 or 8 hours." He answered

"Good point, Snape's it is." she replied.

Narcissa grinned, "Alright, I'll floo him and let him know you will be there shortly, now go get yourselves ready."

Hermione and Draco bolted up the stairs to get ready, while Narcissa floo'd Severus, "They took the bait, tell Lucius the plan is a go."

"That was easy" Severus laughed, "What did you threaten them with?"

"I told them it was visiting you or shopping with me." she laughed, "And it seems you were the more logical choice."

"Very well, send the love birds when ready, Lucius and I are all set up."

Narcissa laughed and closed the floo connection. Twenty minutes later, Hermione and Draco stepped into the fireplace and floo'd to Hogwarts, greeted with Severus immediately.

"Good, you've arrived in one piece." Severus smirked, "Follow me so I can explain these potions."

Hermione and Draco's shoulders slumped , but they followed their potions professor into his office where two bottles of potions sat. Snape sat in his chair and crossed his leg over the other, while eying the pair carefully.

"As you can see, I have completed the potions. The blue has been designed for Draco while the purple is for Ms. Granger. The potion is simple, take a swig each morning and you will both be protected, more so then with that muggle pill she was taking."

"Umm, Sir, I have a quick question." Hermione started, "I wasn't only taking the pill for birth control, I also have, uhhh, painful, uhhh, cramps." she finished in almost a whisper.

"Ahh yes, I figured as much, never fear, I had taken that into consideration and have made a second potion for you, just drink it once a month and your body will be fine."

"Umm, Thanks" she replied. "_Harry and Ron would have a fit if they knew I was having this conversation with Snape."_ she thought to herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Snape started to speak again, "I want you to each take a swig of the potion, just to make sure everything is alright before I send you off with it."

Draco and Hermione nodded, both taking their bottle in their hands.

"Now, if the potion work correctly, Draco will glow blue for 5 seconds, showing it has worked, and You Ms. Granger, will glow a light purple for the same amount of time. Draco you first." Severus ordered.

Draco took a sip, glowed blue for a few seconds, then went back to normal.

"Look alright?" He asked

"Perfect Draco, now you Ms. Granger."

Hermione lifted the bottle to her mouth and took a sip and started to glow a light purple immediately, however, they glow didn't stop after 5 seconds.

"Umm, professor, Am I supposed to glow this long?" she asked.

Severus eyes grew wide, _"time to put my acting skills to the test._" he thought to himself. "Ms. Granger, there is only one thing that will make that potion glow for so long...it's sort of a warning system, letting you know there is a problem."

"What problem?" she asked, slightly freaking out.

"I'm afraid Ms. Granger, that we are too late for the potion... The potion is saying that you are already pregnant."

THUMP

Hermione and Severus both looked over to the chair where Draco was sitting, only to find him passed out on the floor.

"Come now Draco, it's only 1 little baby." Severus smirked as he picked his godson off of the ground and slid him back in the chair with an added sticking charm to prevent him from falling out again.

"PREGNANT!!" Hermione shouted, "HOW CAN I BE PREGNANT? WE TOOK PRECAUTION!!"

"Apparently, the muggle method wasn't good enough." Severus said dryly, "If you would like, you may visit Poppy to confirm." He suggested, doing his best to hold in his laughter.

"I will, there is no way I'm pregnant." she huffed, leaving Snapes office immediately to head for the hospital wing.

"Really Lucius, your going to give the poor girl a heart attack." Poppy laughed.

"They deserve it, Do you know how long it took to get the tape off of my clothes? Do you have any idea what its like to wake up, thinking your going bald, or slipping off the toilet because they waxed up the seat?" he asked

Poppy laughed even harder, picturing a bald Lucius, slipping off the toilet, "Fine, fine, but you owe me for this."

"I will make a nice donation towards to hospital wing, allowing you to get anything you need." Lucius replied.

"Hide Lucius, someone's coming." Poppy whispered, closing the curtains around him. No sooner were the curtains closed, A glowing Hermione appeared through the door."

"Ms. Granger!! what a pleasant surprise" Poppy greeted.

"Hello madam, I needed to speak with you if it is alright." Hermione stated

"Oh, of course dear, Are you feeling alright? You look a little...purple."

"That is what I need you to check, Professor Snape says I'm, umm, pregnant and I just need to be sure one way or another."

"Pregnant?? Good grief child, your so young."

"I know, and I've been taking muggle birth control pills, so I think this is just a fluke or something."

"Well, come on then, lets have a look at you."

Hermione plopped herself upon a cot and waited as Poppy grabbed her wand.

"So.. who's the lucky guy." Poppy asked

Hermione blushed, knowing this would probably rock the foundation that Hogwarts sat on, "Draco Malfoy" she said quietly.

"Oh dear, I thought you two didn't get along?"

"We do now...obviously." she smiled

"Very well, Just lay back and let me see for sure."

Hermione lay back on the cot, unaware of the blond man behind the next curtain, doubled over with laughter. Poppy said a charm and waved to wand over Hermione, causing the tip to glow a dark blue.

"Oh dear" she said, looking at the wand, "I'm afraid Professor Snape was correct, you are indeed with child."

Hermione paled, "Oh my god" and passed out.

The curtain pulled back and poppy stepped in, "You made the poor girl pass out."

Lucius couldn't handle it and burst out laughing, casting a silencing charm around the area in case she woke up.

"That...that will teach them not to mess with a Malfoy." he laughed

"I wouldn't be laughing Lucius, I wasn't kidding, she is pregnant." Poppy stated with her arms crossed.

"Wha--, you cant be serious?" he asked

"I'm afraid so, two weeks by the looks of it."

Thump

"Oh good grief, two people are passed out and it isn't even time for school to start yet." she huffed, "a medi -witches job is never done."


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: You guys are awesome, over 60 reviews for the last chapter alone... holy crap... anyways... enjoy this chapter as this is the start of the future events. There will still be pranks and such, but now some slight drama will be added, helping the plot advance a bit. Thanks for reading.

Last time:

"Oh good grief, two people are passed out and it isn't even time for school to start yet." she huffed, "a medi -witches job is never done."

Now:

Severus sat down in his office, Laughing at his god son.

"That was not funny." Draco shouted, "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

Severus slapped his knee, turning a bright red, " You should... you should have seen your face... you looked like nearly headless Nick... then you.. you... passed out like a girl..." He wheezed, desperately trying to catch his breath.

"Revenge is a bitch, Severus." Draco pouted.

"Come Draco, lets go find Ms. Granger and let her know this whole thing is revenge from your parents."

Draco nodded, still upset over this prank. It's not that he minded having a baby with Hermione, but this was too early in the game for something like this. When they opened the doors to the hospital wing, the first thing they noticed was Poppy sitting in a chair reading the newest edition of Medi-witch weekly.

"Did she pass out?" Severus laughed.

Poppy rolled her eyes, "Of course she passed out... she's been out for almost 45 minutes now."

Draco walked over to Hermione's side and sat down in a chair next to her, rubbing her hand, " It was a joke, you're not really pregnant." he whispered, hoping she would wake up at the good news.

"Wheres Lucius?" Severus asked

"Passed out as well, he is in the cot a few beds down." she answered stiffly

"Why in Merlin name did he pass out?" Severus asked.

Poppy smiled, "It appears your little prank backfired... you see... I ran the test over Ms. Granger, prepared to give her false results... unfortunately, Ms. Granger _is_ pregnant, two weeks along apparently."

Severus paled, "I don't believe you, you are conspiring with someone, aren't you." he hissed.

Poppy smirked, " Check her yourself"

"I will" he huffed, marching over to her bed. He pulled out his wand and cast a spell over her stomach, one that couldn't be manipulated, while Draco watched intently.

"Merlin's right testicle, she is pregnant." Severus gasped, "Narcissa is going to have a fit"

Draco looked over to his godfather, "Ha ha, funny joke."

"Not a joke Draco, Ms. Granger is two weeks pregnant... I thought she was using those muggle birth control pills."

"She is, I've seen her take them." Draco replied, feeling a little woozie again.

Poppy cleared her throat, " Did you say she was only using Muggle birth control pills?"

Draco nodded

Poppy rolled her eyes, " They don't work as well on witches as they do on muggles. Hermione has only had about 50 protection where as a muggle would have around 99.

Severus turned to Draco, "Was it really that hard to keep it in your pants boy?"

"I couldn't help it and don't regret it either." he said firmly.

Severus sat down in the chair next to Poppy, "Albus is going to have kittens over this, not to mention Minerva."

"Oh yeah" Poppy agreed, " But I'm more curious to see Narcissa's reaction, she should be here in a few minutes."

"Prepare another bed, Narcissa is going to faint as well." Severus laughed.

Around twenty minutes later, the doors to the hospital wing opened once more and Narcissa strolled in with a smile on her face.

"How did the prank work?" she asked immediately.

"Umm, Narcissa, pull up a chair" Severus said calmly. Narcissa quirked an eyebrow, but sat down and waited for the answer.

"So how did the pranks go?" she asked again.

"Mum, Hermione's pregnant." Draco sighed

"It was a prank dear, the entire thing was planned." she said as she smiled sweetly at her son.

"It started as a prank Narcissa." Poppy started, "However, I ran the test and she really is pregnant.. two weeks along."

Narcissa's smile widened, "Are you sure?"

"Severus and I both cast the charms, she is pregnant." Poppy stated.

"A BABY!!, My baby is having a baby??" She asked

"I'm afraid so." Severus replied, moving into position to catch her if she fell forward when she fainted. Narcissa leaped up from her chair, "A BABY... THIS IS SOOOO EXCITING!!" she shrieked, gripping Severus into a tight hug before moving towards Draco and putting him in the same death grip.

"How did your father take it" she asked. Draco pointed over his shoulder to the bed holding her husband.

"What a light weight, I cant believe he passed out." she laughed.

The occupants in the room just looked at the blond in disbelief, "How can you be happy about this?" Draco finally asked.

"Because I like Hermione and think a baby between the two of them is going to be perfect."

"We haven't finished school yet." Draco said, " This is going to make things harder."

"You, Draco, are a Malfoy, you will handle this." she said sternly. The two blond were interrupted when Hermione sat up.

"So it's true, I really am?" she asked.

Narcissa beamed, " Yes dear, you are with child" she said brightly.

Hermione looked to Draco, who had a face of shock still written across it. "Well?" she asked, "What do you think about this?"

"Were too young" he answered, "I'm not ready for something like this."

Hermione paled even more so, not only was she pregnant, but Draco was saying he wasn't ready. "_Is he going to leave me?"_ she thought to herself, searching his face for the answer. His face remained passive, giving her no clues.

"Oh god" she cried, "I – I've got to go." she shouted, jumping from her bed and taking off out the door. Severus and Draco went after her, but Hermione was fast... to fast. She reached the gates of the school and apparated away, leaving Draco and Severus 10 feet behind.

"Smooth move idiot" Severus said while shaking his head.

"I didn't think she'd run like that" Draco replied, "I just needed a minute to let this all sink in."

"Well, the answer you gave her, gave the impression that you were going to ditch her to deal with this on her own."

"I'd never do that" Draco said angrily, "I need to find her."

Draco walked the remaining 10 feet and disappeared, heading to the one place he figured she would go... the burrow.


	23. Chapter 23

Last time:

"I'd never do that" Draco said angrily, "I need to find her."

Draco walked the remaining 10 feet and disappeared, heading to the one place he figured she would go... the burrow.

Now:

As Draco landed outside of the burrow, he noticed that Harry and Ron were flying around, oblivious to their surroundings. He shook his head and approached the door. He gave a quick, firm knock and was soon greeted with Molly.

"Mr. Malfoy, come in, come in, How can I help you?" she asked cheerfully.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Weasley, I was actually here for Hermione."

"Hermione? She hasn't been here at all." Molly replied, confused, "Is something wrong?"

"Define wrong" Draco said in a dejected voice, " We had a little...incident, and I'm afraid she may have taken something I said the wrong way."

Molly could tell the boy had something heavy on his mind, so she ushered him into the kitchen and sat him down for tea.

"I know you don't know me very well Draco, but Hermione is like a daughter to me and I may be able to help, now tell me what happened."

Draco took a deep breath and sighed, "You don't kill anyone do you?" he asked, knowing that in most circumstances he would be running from an angry father.

Molly laughed, "I assure you I will not cause you harm, now out with it."

"Well Mrs. Weasley, Hermione is... pregnant and I'm afraid I took the news a little harder then I should have."

Molly's eyes went wide, " Hermione... pregnant?" she asked in a shocked voice, " how far along is she?"

"Poppy says two weeks along. Hermione was using muggle birth control, but Poppy told us after she found Hermione pregnant that the pills only protected witches to an extent. Hermione was upset and I'm afraid I said the right thing at the wrong time."

"What did you say?"

"I simply said that we were too young and I wasn't ready."

Molly rolled up a newspaper and swatted the blond over the head, "Bad Draco, bad" she said in a friendly tone, "I think you need to find her and set things straight. I realize you are both young, but if you love each other, you will find a way to deal with this, after all, it's not like the baby will appear tomorrow, you two have nine months to work this out."

"Thanks Mrs. Weasley." Draco replied, "I need to go find her. Do you have any clue where else she might be?"

"Have you checked her parents house?" Molly asked

Draco paled, " Is her father a large man?"

Molly laughed and nodded yes

"Damn" Draco swore.

"I'll fetch Harry and Ron, they will be able to tell you how to get there."

Molly jumped from the table, not even considering that Draco may have been to her parents house at some time, and walked outside without giving Draco the time to stop her. A few minutes later, Harry, Molly and Ron walked back into the kitchen where Draco was still sitting.

"So you managed to get her knocked up." Harry said while shaking his head, "I knew this program was a bad idea."

"It wasn't intentional Potter, things happen sometimes." Draco retorted.

"Yeah, well, you're not the one who's going to blow up and still have to complete her schooling with a baby."

"I'm going to be there for her Potter." Draco said angrily, "Now if you don't mind, I need to head to her parents house."

Harry walked out of the room, leaving Molly and Ron behind. Ron approached Draco and put his hand on the boys shoulder, "I know Hermione means something to you, but you have to understand that Harry and I consider her like a sister. We are just worried about her because this isn't a small thing to deal with." Ron paused for a minute, trying to figure out when he became the calm one, "Just take care of her, I'd really hate to see you get beat up by a gang of redheads and the boy who lived." he chuckled.

"Don't worry, I'll do my best" Draco answered. He thanks Molly for her hospitality and left for Hermione house.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Lucius and Narcissa arrived back at the manor, he had discovered that Hermione had run off in tears because of Draco's reaction. True, Lucius wasn't thrilled about the timing, but things could have been worse, a lot worse. He dressed in more comfortable clothes and was getting ready to set out and search for her himself when he spotted the brown, bushy hair, sitting by the lake.

He never had a daughter before, but hoped he didn't mess things up to bad by trying to talk to her as this was a situation he wasn't used to. He walked across the grounds and sat down next to her on the dock.

"Been an interesting day hasn't it?" he stated

Hermione looked over to him and started crying again, " I didn't want this." she stated, "I love Draco, but I'm not ready for this either."

Lucius sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, " Things happen, sometimes they are unexpected, but I can assure you that things will be alright in the end."

"You didn't see Draco's face. He looked at me as if I ruined his life." she said in a low voice, " We still have another year of school and for all everyone knows, Draco and I still hate each other."

"Draco does not think you've ruined his life. He was in shock, which is understandable in this circumstance, as a matter of fact, he is out right now looking for you."

Hermione nodded, "But what am I going to do, I'm only 17. I wasn't hoping for children until I was in my min twenties." she asked.

Lucius gave her a pat on the shoulder, "No matter what happens, you will always have your parents, you will always have Narcissa and Myself, and you will always have Draco. I may not have raised him right in the beginning, but this baby is his responsibility too and he will live up to his responsibility."

"I hope your right Lucius, I really do." she stated glumly.

"I'm always right, I'm a Malfoy." he teased, causing Hermione to chuckle, "Now come along, you need to eat and get some rest, you've had a long day."

Hermione smiled and linked arms with her future child's grandfather, heading for the manor.

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An hour later, Draco arrived back at the manor, three shades whiter then normal. He walked into the dining room to find his father eating lunch.

"Has Hermione come back?" he asked immediately

"Yes, I found her out by the lake a while ago. She is in her room taking a nap." Lucius cocked his head, noticing his sons complexion, "Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"

"Mr. Granger" Draco replied.

Lucius couldn't help but laugh, he could imagine what his reaction would be if a boy showed up at his door asking for his pregnant daughter.

"I take it they took the news well?" he asked

"Better then it could have been, I'm in one piece at least." he answered, "If you'll excuse me father, I need to talk to Hermione"

Lucius nodded his head and Draco left, heading up the stair to her room. When he opened her door, he noticed she was curled in a ball in the center of the bed, still fully dressed including her shoes. He approached the bed and removed her shoes carefully before climbing in the bed with her and covering them both up, he would wait to talk to her once she had some sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Check out my myspace for a fun Harry Potter Quiz, "find your Harry Potter love match", its funny as hell, I ended up with Snape. My myspace is my homepage info. Oh and to the reviewer who commented on the redheaded temper,lol, of course I know about the temper as I am a redhead.

Last time:

Lucius nodded his head and Draco left, heading up the stair to her room. When he opened her door, he noticed she was curled in a ball in the center of the bed, still fully dressed including her shoes. He approached the bed and removed her shoes carefully before climbing in the bed with her and covering them both up, he would wait to talk to her once she had some sleep.

Now:

"Draco... Draco, wake up." Hermione said while nudging him, "I have to go to the bathroom and your wrapped around me."

Draco opened one eye and smiled, "Fine, but come right back, I want to talk to you."

Hermione nodded and went towards the bathroom, almost tripping over her shoes in the process. Draco sat up and rubbed the sleep from his face, he wanted to make sure Hermione knew he was serious about her and the baby, whether he was ready for this situation or not.

A few minutes later, Hermione left the bathroom and sat back down on the bed, looking at the bedsheets instead of him. He noticed her reluctance to look at him and curse himself inwardly.

"Hermione, Listen... What I said at the hospital wing was true, we are to young and I am not ready, but, I think we can handle this if we both try our best."

Hermione raised and shook her head, " We aren't ready for this Draco, and I'm not sure I can do this, I never expected to have a child so young."

"I realize that, but I know we can do this, we will also have plenty of help while we finish out our last year."

"Your parents will eventually get tired of coming to the school."

"Not just them, Mrs. Weasley said she would help, and your parents, well, they said they would help too."

Hermione's eyes grew wide, " You told my parents?? and you're still alive??"

"Barely, but I did survive, I'll be honest with you though, your dad is in pretty good shape for a man his age."

Hermione reached across the bed and placed two fingers on his neck.

"What on earth are you doing?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Checking for a pulse, I'm not ready to believe you survived him."

Draco smacked her hands away lightly, "As I said, barely. I went there after I left the burrow, figuring thats where you would go. Your father answered the door and invited me in. When I asked him if you were there, he told me you weren't and asked for an explanation." Draco paused for a minute, to replay the scene in his head, "I didn't want to start things off with him by lying, so I backed up about 10 feet and told him the situation."

"Was he mad?" she asked

"Well, at first, but after he chased me through your house and back yard for about twenty minutes, he finally gave up when he realized I could climb a tree a lot faster them him."

"He actually chased you? Oh Merlin."

"Like I said, he eventually gave up, I think the chase wore him out a bit. Anyways, I talked to him from my spot in the tree and once he promised he would not harm me, I finally came down, but I used a funny chair that was in the yard for protection until I was completely sure."

"So am I disowned?"

"Not by a long shot, I actually had a conversation with him and your mum at the kitchen table once we all calmed down. I assured them that I was going to take care of you and the baby."

Hermione looked at him again, "But we aren't ready Draco, this is going to chance our lives before we even have a chance to live them."

"Look woman" he said teasingly, "I have been chased, I have been swatted with a newspaper, I have faced Potters anger, Weasley's threats, climbed a tree and have been called an idiot at least three times, all in one day. I'm pretty sure I can handle anything else that is thrown my way, and I know you well enough to know you will handle this... with grace."..."Besides, as Mrs. Weasley said, we have nine months to ready for this and we are fortunate to have people willing to help."

Hermione smiled, "since when did you become so sweet?"

"Probably the same time Weasley became the calm one."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, but Draco shook his head, "I'll explain that one later."

Hermione nodded and lay back down on the bed, "So whats next?" she asked

Draco smirked, "Revenge. My parents were going to pull this little prank on us and even though it backfired, I think they need a taste of their own medicine."

Hermione smiled, "I think I like that idea, but this time, Snape gets it too,"

"Shall I call Fred and George?"

"You shall" she chuckled.

Draco left the room and went to the floo to call for the twins, when he stuck his head through, he came face to face with Mrs. Weasley.

"Draco dear, did you find her?" Molly asked

"Yes I did Mrs. Weasley, she went to the manor and she and my father talked before I got there, but things are fine now."

"Good, good, great to hear that. So... is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you could send Fred and George over to the manor, Hermione and I need to talk to them."

"Of course dear, I'll send them right over."

"Thanks Mrs. Weasley" Draco replied as he pulled out of the fire.

Draco went back up the Hermione's room and sat back down on the bed, close to her. He pulled her into a hug and apologized again for how he handled the initial news. Hermione smiled and pulled him into a kiss, accepting his apology.

"Hey, none of that, it's already gotten you two in enough trouble." Fred laughed.

"Too right" George followed

Hermione Blushed and Draco smirked, "Don't worry boys, you will eventually find a girl to put up with you."

"I resent that" George started

"Because we are very lovable." Fred finished with a chuckle, "So, I guess you called us here to plan?

"Indeed" Draco replied, " Snape gets it too this time."

George and Fred beamed, " Good old Snapey poo."


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: I just wanted to say that two of the pranks I'm using in this chapter came from reviewers so I want to say a special thanks to Skavnema and Depressing.Love.Songs for their wonderful suggestions.

Last time:

"Because we are very lovable." Fred finished with a chuckle, "So, I guess you called us here to plan?

"Indeed" Draco replied, " Snape gets it too this time."

George and Fred beamed, " Good old Snapey poo."

Now:

Severus Snape, Potions Master and Professor of Hogwarts was pissed. Actually, pissed was to light of a word for how he felt and he was sure he knew who was causing all of his misfortunes. He plopped down in his chair by the fire after checking it for booby traps and took a long swig of his whiskey. As the liquid burned on the way down, he thought back, replaying the day from hell over in his head.

When he woke up this morning, his stomach was in a terrible mess. It felt as if he had swallowed an entire caves worth of bats that were playing double dutch with his intestine. He quickly left the bed and ran to the bathroom with his butt cheeks squeezed together to avoid a mess he did _not_ feel like cleaning up.

He plopped down on the toilet seat, unaware that his very normal action of going to the bathroom was also a trigger for the awful things he had experienced that day. He knew something was up when he sat down and felt something gooey hit his skin, unfortunately for him, he was in no condition to stand up and check to see what the problem was and continued on with his task of releasing the jump roping bats.

It took almost half hour before he felt confident enough to leave his bathroom. He reached over to the toilet paper and quirked an eyebrow, something was wrong with it. He tried and tried to pull the paper off of the roll but it wouldn't budge. The roll was seamless and had no ending. He tried to just rip into it but the paper, all though soft, had the strength of steel and would budge, effectively leaving him stranded on the toilet.

"_I've got to shower anyway, I'll just wash off real good and be done with it." _He thought to himself, proud that he was able to come up with a solution so quickly.

He kicked off his sleeping pants that were pooled around his ankles and went to stand but soon found himself unable to because he was stuck to the seat.

"I'm going to kill them" he yelled through out the bathroom, furious that he had been duped so bad in just a matter of minutes. He berated himself for another twenty minutes about his stupidity, after all, he was a spy for years and now he had been bested by his godson and girlfriend.

He finally accio'd his wand and tried to separate himself from the seat but had very little luck. Growing even more pissed then he already was, he waved his wand again, separating the seat from the toilet. He managed to stand but was in an odd question mark shape as the seat was not only glued to his ass it was also glued to his legs. Cursing loudly, he made for the bathroom door, unclean, naked and unable to stand up straight. He walked through the door and cursed again as he felt the pull of a port key take hold... "I'm really going to kill them." he roared.

He closed his eyes and prepared himself to be humiliated, he just knew he would end up in the streets of muggle London naked and glued to a toilet seat. He felt himself drop and fall to the floor, unable to set himself down gently like he normally would due to his extra body part. He slowly opened his eyes and screamed like a girl as no more then twenty feet away was a freshly showered, completely naked Minerva, who screamed at the top of her lungs as well.

"Severus Snape" she shrieked, "How dare you invade my quarters."

Severus wasn't listening, he was trying to figure out the best way to stand without been seen while clawing his eyes out at the same time.

"It's not my fault and for the love of Merlin put on a robe." he shouted back, still trying in vein to crawl away.

"How is this not your fault? YOU are in MY rooms, naked and... dear Merlin is that a toilet seat glued to your ass?" she asked with a laugh.

"You think this is funny? I ought to scoot my ass across your carpet like in itching dog." he hissed, "Those... those brats have been torturing me all morning."

"Who Severus? There are no students in the school?" She asked while throwing a sheet over the slithering potions professors body.

"Draco and Hermione, thats who... Draco has access to my rooms... they must have snuck in while I was sleeping." he answered.

Just as Minerva was getting ready to reply, Severus let out another girlish scream and started flopping back and forth, trying to get away from the discarded pair of granny panties that were on the floor no more the two inches from his face.

"What on earth?" She asked while running towards Severus. She spotted the knickers and plucked them up, "It's just undergarments." she hissed

"That.. is not the point. The point is where they more then likely were not so very long ago." he replied with a shuddered.

"Really Severus... grow up."

"It that what I have to look forward to, I will be creating an age reducing potion as soon as I get the chance."

Minerva finally had enough and pulled a still naked Severus to his feet. She cast a cleaning charm on him and transfigured her other pink bathrobe to a larger size, keeping the color pink for spite. He left her rooms and walked to the hospital wing looking every bit like very confused transvestite.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Malfoy Manor was not a happy place either that morning. Draco and Hermione were perfectly content hiding in his room with a very strong protective ward on the door. They could hear the cursing down the hall and they sympathetic, yet laughing voice of Narcissa trying to calm Lucius down.

"I will not calm down woman. I actually comforted the girl last night and now I get repaid with this?"

"Lucius, it is not that bad."

"NOT THAT BAD?? I"M GLUED TO THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT." he shouted

"Well at least you have the toilet seat... I really, really have to go." she shouted back

"Then use one of the other toilets." he replied

"I..CANT..MAKE...IT..THAT...FAR." she seethed.

Despite the predicament, Lucius let out a laugh as his wife bounced around.

"You know... I cant wait till that baby is born." Lucius stated, "When that child gets old enough to understand, I am going to train him up good."

"It could be a her." Narcissa reminded.

Lucius waved his hand in dismissal, "The child will be male... all first borns from Malfoy's are male."

"Hmmf" Narcissa said as she turned away from him, "Is it really so bad to want a girl?"

Lucius squeezed his eyes shut, he knew where the conversation was heading and really didn't want to have it while glued to a seat.

"Can we talk about this once I'm free?" he asked

Narcissa turned around and smirked, "You know... I think I'm going to leave you there until you decide to give me what I want."

Lucius pouted, honest to god pouted, he knew she wanted to have a daughter more then anything and was now in the position to demand him to comply. He let out a sigh, was having another child really so bad? Wouldn't he do anything to make his wife happy? He rubbed his hands over his face and relented.

"Get me off of this seat and we will talk about the next Malfoy."

Narcissa shrieked in happiness before calling a house elf to have her husband removed from the seat. Once he was free, he dressed and ran straight across the hall to Draco's room, Blasting the door off the hinges despite the wards.

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Hermione and Draco were still in the making up part of their little tiff. The knew Lucius was glued to the toilet so they knew they had time, not to mention he had put wards on his door to prevent anyone from getting in.

Draco had pulled Hermione into a snogging session that quickly turned into more heated affairs. He flicked his wand at some point, vanishing their clothes from their bodies leaving them in the bed, skin against skin. He kissed his way down her neck and to her chest, placing little love bites as he went before moving to her breast that were slightly more sensitive then normal due to her condition.

Hermione let out a moan of appreciation for his talents as he pulled one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking and flicking his tongue against it as he went. His hand traveled down between her legs and started to gently rub her, making her moan a bit louder.

"Draco" she moaned, "stop teasing me" she said with a whimper.

Draco smirked and moved his body into position, placing himself at her entrance. He pushed in slowly not wanting to hurt anything as he didn't know what was allowed and what wasn't when it came to a pregnant person.

"You can move faster" she said in a matter of fact tone.

"I don't want to hurt anything."

"You wont... trust me." she replied

He leaned back down to kiss her again and started to pick up his pace. Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him in deeper as he moved faster. Hermione was getting close so she clenched her muscles around him, wanting him to cum at the same time she did.

He grunted as he felt the muscles tighten and pumped harder, wanting to get the release her body was promising.

Hermione arched her back as her orgasm swept through, pulling Draco along with her. They were still in position, finishing their release when the door suddenly flew open and an irate Lucius walked in.

"DRACO... DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?" Lucius yelled

Hermione was trying her best to get under the sheets while Draco looked confused.

"I'm pretty sure I've done this a time or two." he replied with a quirked eyebrow.

Lucius, who was not paying attention to the bed suddenly groaned when he realized what he had walked in on.

"Do you two have nothing better to do?" he asked while turning around.

"Umm, father... can you leave for a minute." Draco asked as Hermione continued to burrow further under the sheets.

"I will leave in a minute, but not before I tell you what you have done."

"Uh – okay, what did I do?"

"You trapped me... you glued me to a toilet seat and I was cornered. I'll have you know that your mother is demanding a daughter from me and in order to gain my freedom I had to comply."

Draco froze.. the idea of his parents doing _that_ was too much but Hermione poked her head from under the covers.

"You mean I'm not going to be alone in this?" she asked happily

Lucius sighed, "Apparently not."

Hermione squealed happily causing both Draco and Lucius to groan.


	26. Chapter 26

Back to Hogwarts, part 1

Narcissa had decided to take Hermione shopping, after all, the next Malfoy needed to be well prepared for.

"How long have you wanted another child?" Hermione asked as they browsed a baby store that only the rich would dare step foot it.

"Years" she replied with a sigh, " But with Voldemort still around, Lucius flat out refused to bring another child into this world."

"Why?" Hermione asked in curiosity

"Lucius was afraid that we would have a girl... he was afraid she would be considered leverage if he ever fell into odds with The Dark Lord."

"And Draco?"

"Was a requirement. An heir was needed and with the Malfoy's, a male was always born first."

Hermione rubbed her still flat stomach, "So you think this is a boy?"

"I cannot honestly say yes or no. You are new blood, something the Malfoy line has never had before. It may be just enough to throw things off kilter."

Hermione nodded and continued to look through the rows of soft blankets, wondering what her child would be.

"You know" Narcissa stated, bringing Hermione out of her thoughts, "When you get back to school next week, Severus is going to have a field day with the pair of you."

Hermione laughed, "I only wish it were taped."

Narcissa gave her a smile, "I know I'm on the opposing team, but I like you so I will fill you in on the details."

Hermione almost danced I happiness

"Severus landed in Minerva's private rooms, naked, with the toilet seat glued to his bottom."

"Oh... my... god" Hermione said before bursting into a fit of laughter

"Thats not the best part, apparently Severus screamed like a girl... twice."

"Why?"

"The first reason was Minerva was naked too, the second is because in his attempts to crawl away, he almost landed face first into a pair of her discarded knickers."

That was it, Hermione wailed in laughter, picturing her evil potions masters face as he went through that.

"Minerva made one of her pink robes bigger and helped Severus up, hen sent him to the hospital wing wearing the pink robe."

"How did you find this out?" Hermione asked as she tried to regain her composure

"He was whining to Lucius about it." Narcissa replied with a giggle, "The poor man was traumatized and If I know him as well as I think I do, you and Draco are in for it."

Hermione paled slightly but she knew what she was getting into... she hoped.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

One week later... platform 9 ¾

"You will write me?" Narcissa asked Hermione. Narcissa was bummed out, she had come to think of Hermione like the daughter she never had.

"Of course I will" Hermione replied while giving Narcissa a hug, "I want to know the second you join me in pregnancy." she said with a laugh.

Lucius rolled his eyes but smirked none the less, he was warming to the idea. The four were so busy in saying goodbye that they didn't notice the confused stares of everyone around them.

Lucius was wearing his trademark rich man clothes, but underneath was a tee shirt. Hermione noticed the collar and laughed.

"There comfortable" he stated with a smirk. He pulled her into a hug, surprising everyone including Draco. Yes, he had hugged her before but never in public. Lucius soon released her and went to Draco, giving him a hug as well, only it was a manly hug with the three second rule... 1.2.3. break.

"We will come and visit." Lucius stated as he took Narcissa by the arm, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the now obvious people standing around with gaping mouths.

Draco nodded and took Hermione by the hand, "We will write you once we settle in."

Narcissa wiped a tear from her eye and waved as her 'children', boarded the train and disappeared behind the throng of other students.

Hermione and Draco made a few stops, mainly to see Harry and Ron before they were to head to the heads compartment. Hermione clued them all in on what had happened to Snape, causing the compartment to roar in laughter. Once that was done with, the went on their way gaining stares from everyone and glares from others, especially Pansy.

Once they arrived at Hogwarts, they went to their respective tables and took a seat between their friends. The girls from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw were on Hermione in an instant, wanting to know the nature of her and Draco's relationship. She was saved from answering when the Head Master stood at the podium.

"Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts." he greeted, earning applause from everyone. "As you are aware, a program took place over the summer in which students were sent to live with a family of different blood status. I am pleased to announce that all went well with very little trouble. I am also pleased to announce, that through this project, I believe enemies have become friends, some closer." he said with a grin and a look to his new head students. " I would like have a small report from those students on what their summers entailed and what they have learned from their stay with their adoptive families. I would also like to call to the front, the two students who made the most headway in this project, two students that have made me a proud old man, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy."

Applause erupted again as the pair stood and made their way to the front, joining hands in the process.

"Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy have shown that differences can be overlooked. During the summer, these former foes have made great progress in showing the world that unity can come from every house, including Slytherin and Gryffindor." He paused for a brief moment to look at the pair, asking silently if it was alright to share the nature of their relationship. When he received a nod in the affirmative, he smiled and looked towards the students again.

"I am pleased to announce that Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger have come together over the summer as a couple"

the room grew silent with the exception of a few groans from protesting girls

"And I would also like to announce that this young couple is expecting their first child at the end of the school year and while I am in no way condoning Pregnancy at a young age, I feel it best to announce it now, rather then when Ms. Granger starts showing as she gets further along."

Gasps could be heard through out the room and Pansy fainted, falling straight into the arms of Millicent.

Dumbledore hid his chuckle and leaned down towards Hermione and Draco, "Meet me after feast so I can show you to your rooms."

"yes sir" they replied in unison and made their way back down to their tables.

Dumbledore continued with the normal part of the ceremony beginning with the sorting, then the warnings about the forbidden forest and the items on Filch's list.

Once the food appeared, Hermione was once again swamped by a mixture of excited girls and angry girls who were upset on not getting their chance with The Malfoy heir.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: I'm skipping ahead in the story and bypassing the whole ' what the common room looks like' scene.. mostly because I have just read soooo many over the last few months and frankly I'm bored with it. So anyway, we are advancing this to one week into the new school year. On a second note, I know a couple of you weren't happy with me having Dumbledore announce the baby and thats your decision, but if you are looking for major drama in this story.. you wont find it. The reason I created this story was to kind of put something out there that didn't have the normal plot of He hates her, she hates him, they fight, they do it , profess undying love for one another in a matter of five minutes and live happily ever after. This is a happy, funny story not a woe is me story.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

During the first week back, Draco and Hermione settled into school life rather easily. Their common room was more then acceptable, their schedules were identical and mostly everyone had excepted their relationship and stopped asking questions. The only thing that was off in their lives was their Potions Master.

Snape had been watching them during meals with a smirk, almost smiling at them during class – which put knots in their stomachs, Snape never smiled and it frightened them, and to make matters worse, he seemed to know where they were at all times.

"He's doing it again." Hermione whispered to Draco as they sat in the Great Hall.

Draco looked over and sure enough, Snape was looking at them with a small smile. It reminded him of the predator watching it prey.

"Just ignore him.. it's when he gains a full smile that we worry." Draco replied back.

Hermione smirked, " I hope he acts soon – then it will be our turn again."

Draco chuckled and shook his head, "Who said we have to wait until he makes the first move. I wasn't aware of an agreement that said otherwise."

Hermione gave off a full fledged smile and looked towards Snape, "I'm in" she whispered through her smile.

After dinner, Hermione and Draco made their way to their dorm and set to planning. After two hours of trading ideas, both smiled a slytherin smirk and quickly sent out a list of supplies to George and Fred.

The next afternoon during lunch, an owl swooped down and dropped a package in front of Draco and Hermione. They quickly plucked the note from the package and read it with a smile.

Severus sat at the head table and silently cursed when he noticed the package and devious smirks across the head students faces. He knew that smirk and he silently cursed again when he realized he hadn't really planned to do anything to them other then make them crazy with anticipation – he clearly underestimated them. He left The great hall quickly and made for his rooms, he needed to floo Lucius.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two nights later, Hermione and Draco snuck down to the dungeons under the cover of Harry's invisibility cloak. When they arrived in the classroom, the first thing they noticed was Severus asleep at his desk – this complicated things a bit.

They snuck around the room as quietly as they possibly could, knowing that Severus would probably hex first, and ask questions later – neither wanted to be the poor soul that met his fury.

Severus watched the pair sneak around with one eye. He memorized everything they did, knowing that as soon as they left he would put everything right. He couldn't help but smirk at his little plan and how their little plot to prank him would end up hurting them in the end. He could tell by the way they were sneaking and smiling to themselves, that they had no idea that while they were down here working for nothing, Lucius was in their dorm... arranging things.

An hour later, Draco and Hermione made their way back to their dorm, completely satisfied at their latest prank. Lucius had been gone for the better part of ten minutes and was currently in the dungeons helping Severus right their wrongs.

The next morning, Draco and Hermione did their daily ritual of showering and dressing before heading to breakfast and class, completely unaware of the spells Lucius had placed on a number of things in their dorm. He took care in making sure nothing would hurt Hermione or his grandchild, but her appearance, well that was something else entirely.

Both teens knew something was wrong immediately upon entering the great hall when they noticed Lucius sitting at the head table next to Severus, both with a knowing smirk on their faces.

"I think our pranks are a bust." Draco whispered.

"Oh I agree, I also think that we are in for it – Severus is actually smiling."

Draco turned to look and gulped, not only was Severus smiling but his father was also wearing a full blown smile as well.

"Should we run for it." Hermione whispered.

Draco's mouth dropped open and he shook his head, "It wouldn't do any good... it's already happening."

Hermione quirked her eyebrow and wondered why Draco was trying to pull her robes over her head quickly.

"Oh shit, whats wrong with me." she asked , realizing that something was happening to her.

"Ummm, well." Draco stated, trying his best to not look at her and get her out of the great hall quickly, "Your hair is well... a bit frizzy and in case you haven't noticed, you are gaining weight at an alarming speed... uhh, did I mention you have acne?"

Hermione was completely horrified at what he was saying and by the look on his face, she knew he wasn't lying. They rushed towards the doors and to further the problem, the door was spelled to not let them out – they were trapped and everyone was looking at them.

Draco felt a sudden tingle and almost had a fit. He may have changed but he was still protective of his appearance.

"Sweet Merlin hide me." he yelped, trying to get behind Hermione's ever expanding backside.

Hermione let out a sudden gasp as locks of Draco's beautiful blond hair dropped to the ground in clumps.

Draco screamed, like a girl, and didn't care in the least of how girly he had just sounded. He quickly dropped to his knees and started scooping up the blond hair in a panic.

"Draco" Hermione hissed as she felt her skirt start to rip in the back, "We both have a problem and we need to find a way out of here quickly."

"My hair" he said in a freaked out voice.

"Your hair is nothing compared to the black hair that is growing through your clothes at this current moment."

Draco risked a glance at the head table and growled when he noticed that not only was everyone at the head table laughing, the students in the Great Hall were also laughing hysterically or struggling to find words.

He then looked down and noticed sprouts of gnarled black hair coving his hands, popping out of the top of his shirt and through the button holes.

"We got to get out of here." Draco said in a panicked voice. He noticed Hermione's hair was quickly turning into an afro, her fingers looked like sausages and her clothes were dangerously close to ripping from her body in self defense.

"Draco... did you use my face wash?"

He nodded and his eyes went wide, "I have zits??"

"You probably look as bad as I do." she whispered as three buttons on her shirt suddenly popped off.

"Never prank a slytherin that is older, wiser and a touch more evil then you will ever be." Snape's voice rang out.

They both spun to see Severus and Lucius two feet in front of them.

"I suggest you get back to your room quickly... I estimate approximately 4 minutes before her clothes can no longer cover her body and your... body hair grows long enough to trip you." Lucius stated and with a wave of his wand, the doors allowed them escape.

"This is far from over" Draco practically yelled, still mourning the loss of his hair.

"All will be fine in two hours when the spells wear off." Lucius said with a laugh.

"And Ms. Granger, I suggest you find a very large blanket and cover yourself with it." Severus added, knowing that she would balloon up to around 400 lbs before the spell wore off and put her right.

Both teens took off as fast as they could, they were humiliated enough and didn't need everyone to see the final results of the spells.

A/N: Prank ideas are always welcome...


	28. Chapter 28

A week was all it took for Draco and Hermione to come up with a plan to retaliate against Snape and Lucius. Hermione had owled Narcissa and asked for the witches help. Narcissa, being bored since they had left, accepted and was now on the team with Draco, Hermione and the twins.

Narcissa's part of the latest prank was with Lucius as she had closer contact with him. All she had to do was chant a spell and send him to Hogwarts to visit Severus and they would take care of the rest.

She did her part dutifully and sent Lucius to visit Severus saying he had owled earlier in the week and wanted to discuss Draco. Lucius, still believing his wife to be on his side went without question.

"You wanted to speak with me Severus?" Lucius asked as he reached the potions classroom shortly after the last class had let out.

Severus quirked an eyebrow, he didn't remember saying he needed to see him and his memory was as sharp as a tack, "Ahh. Well, let us get some lunch and we will discuss things from there." Severus replied, giving himself some time in case he had owled Lucius a night he had a little too much fire whiskey. He needed to think.

The two older Slytherins made their way down to The Great Hall and neither noticed the bushy haired girl pull her wand and cast a spell on the Professor.

"Did you do it?" Draco whispered from behind her

"Yep, should activate in about 4 minutes... lets get a seat so we don't miss anything."

"If this works, remind me to thank Fred and George later."

Hermione nodded and as soon as the two men disappeared into the Hall, Draco and Hermione followed quickly after them. They reached the Gryffindor table and took their seats next to Harry and Ron.

"You two might want to glance over to the head table in about two minutes." Hermione stated

Harry and Ron looked at each other, "Revenge" they said in unison and prepared for what ever they had managed to come up with.

The four patiently waited and watched as the two men ate, sharing small talk between them.

"Thirty seconds" she whispered

"What exactly did you do?" Harry asked

Draco grinned, "My mother placed a spell on my father that will make him see Snape naked even though he is fully dressed."

Ron frowned, "What about Snape?"

Hermione smirked and laughed softly, "That is my doing... Thanks to your brothers, they told me of a spell to look up. I did and it pretty much makes the receiver of the spell fall into lust/ love over the person they are talking to."

"Basically" Draco drawled, "My father is going to see Snape naked while Snape gets lusty over dear old dad... should make quiet the show."

Harry had to swallow his pumpkin juice before he ended up spewing it all over the table.

"5 seconds till activation." Hermione whispered making all four turn to the head table.

They watched as the two men talked quietly, suddenly, Lucius backed away from Severus.

"Dad just noticed a nude Snape." Draco laughed

Ron and Harry were grinning ear to ear and Hermione just remained smirking. It was only a few seconds later that Lucius stood, almost tripping over his chair in the process and started to walk away from a smiling, giggling Snape.

"Where are you going?" Severus yelled, standing to his feet and following Lucius, "Just a kiss... thats all I ask."

Lucius started a swift jog without even answering the dark haired man, "Stay away Severus." was all he could manage to get out.

"But I love you." Snape said in his monotone voice.

The entire great hall turned to watch their potions master chase the elder Malfoy around the Hall.

"One little kiss ... maybe a hug." Severus tried again.

Lucius continued to run around the tables before finally being somewhat cornered. He tried as hard as he could to remove his wand from his cane but it seemed to be stuck. He'd hex the professor before he accepted a kiss from him.

"You have no where to run Lucius... I wont bite...much."

The students didn't know what to do – should they laugh at the situation? Run away as fast as they could? Ignore it? -- most chose the first option and openly laughed as their potions professor flirted with another man.

"I'm warning you Severus, put that thing away and get a hold of your self."

"I cant put my heart away." Severus replied sweetly

"Thats not what I'm talking about." Lucius hissed, pointing down to Snape crotch.

Draco, Ron and Harry had turned an awful shade of red and were gasping for much needed air – the scene was too much and they were laughing to hard to control their breathing.

"It's about to get better." Hermione said while hiding her laugh behind her hand.

Draco turned to his girlfriend, "What else did you do?"

"The spell your father is under... well I cast on the same thing on Snape. Any minute now, Snape will see Lucius as nude as he sees Severus."

"Oh my god." Ron hissed, falling backwards and to the floor.

"Oh Lucius... WOW." Snape suddenly yelled, Sending Hermione into a matching fit of laughter as the boys.

"You're soo, pale and creamy." Severus said while licking his lips.

Lucius let out a yelp and made a mad dash from the great hall, Severus hot on his heels, "Where are you going?" Severus was yelling behind him.

"Get away from me you.. you... POOF." They heard Lucius yell back, sending Draco to the floor where Ron remained, clutching his sides.

"How long before the spell wear off?" Harry asked while wiping his eyes.

"Two hours" Hermione answered, "They should be good an tired from running from each other."

"What happens" Ron gasped out, still laughing, "If Snape... catches Lucius."

"We just hope Lucius manages to free his wand or is stronger then Severus because Snape will try to at least kiss him.. I didn't go full strength on the spell because I didn't know who was faster or stronger... I don't think Lucius would appreciate being manhandled by Snape to much."

"AHHHHHH, GET AWAY YOU, YOU NANCY." They heard from the hall. "DUMBLEDORE... UNLOCK THE GATE, UNLOCK THE GATE." Lucius voice rang through, sending all four teens into hysterical laughter once again.

A/N: Thanks for the suggestion guys.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: This is for Painelust. Lol

kkkkkkkkkk

Lucius was running as fast as he could, trying to get away from the Potions Master. He liked Severus, he really did... just not like that.

"Lucius My love, stop running from your feelings – I love you." Severus yelled.

Lucius finally made his way outside, shedding his robes in the process. They were weighing him down and for some reason, Severus seemed to be getting faster.

"Go play with your chemistry set or something... I'm not interested." Lucius yelled back

"But your bum is so enticing... Like two milky, white globes, begging for my --"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence." Lucius yelled as he shuddered, picking up hit pace a bit.

The four laughing teens made their way outside, followed by almost everyone else in The Great Hall – professors included. They were sure they would never get to see something like this again and didn't want to miss the show.

"Your hair looks like gold in this light, love, let me run my fingers through it." Snape yelled.

"You will NOT run your fingers through anything on my person." Lucius screamed, using a tree for protection.

"You cannot hide from me forever... you have to face this eventually – just give in to your feelings and love me."

Lucius gagged and looked for an escape route. He'd have to shower for a month solid, definitely get Narcissa pregnant, and hang out in the manly places possible to get the gay off of him if Severus managed to catch him.

"Go away" Lucius yelled

"Never... I could never be away from you." Severus said as he pulled his wand.

Hermione and Draco grabbed theirs too, they could remove the spells easily and hadn't counted on Snape using his wand to actually catch Lucius – they stood on guard for damage control.

"W-what are you doing?" Lucius asked in a panicked voice.

"Just getting whats mine." Severus said sweetly and raised his wand. "Accio Lucius."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Lucius screamed, "Hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllpppppppppppp, anyone... I'll pay you... just, just Help."

Ron and Harry were practically crying with laughter, but Hermione and Draco started to walk closer to the pair – there was no telling what would happen when Severus had Lucius in his grasp.

"I knew you would come my love." Severus whispered in a seductive voice as he held a frightened, squirming Lucius.

"Severus.. dear friend... Lets talk this over... see if we cant work this out with me getting hurt, hmmm?"

"I'd never hurt you... much." Severus replied with a smirk, "And dear Gods your squirming is driving me mad."

Lucius froze solid, he wouldn't move a muscle for anything at this point.

"HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP" Lucius yelled once again.

"SHHHHH, I'll be gentle" Severus reassured as he lowered his mouth to Lucius, who was once again struggling with all his might.

Severus reached Lucius's lips and Lucius panicked. From a distance, all you could see were Lucius's arm flying about wildly and his legs pushing into the ground trying to get away.

"You get Severus, I'll get my dad." Draco stated and both raised their wands, ending the spell immediately.

Within Seconds, Severus opened his eyes and looked down to the startled gray ones that were looking around wildly.

"Ahhhh" Severus yelled, dropping Lucius to the ground and started spitting.

Lucius backed away from Severus, "It was those kids... those damned kids." Lucius spat, noticing Hermione and Draco backing away slowly.

Severus was busy wiping his tongue on his robes, really, really wanting some mouth wash and an entire bottle of fire whiskey.

"I'll get Granger... you deal with that.. that spawn of yours." Severus answered.

"Remember to be gentle... she is carrying the Malfoy Heir."

"I'm not stupid... but they must pay... they turned me queer." He seethed.

Lucius stood from the ground, "She's easy to catch... but she likes to zig zag." Lucius warned.

"Ready?" Severus asked

"get them." Lucius replied and both took off in a run towards Draco and Hermione.

"SHIT" both yelled in unison and started to run as fast as they could. They knew running would stall their capture but they also knew the two angered me would catch them.

Lucius finally managed to release his wand and fired a stunning spell at Draco, knocking him on his butt. Lucius got a hold of him before he even had a chance to recover.

"Think that was funny boy." Lucius yelled, "You two are in for it now."

About twenty feet away, Severus swooped in like a great bat and scooped Hermione up.

"Alright little Gryffindor... Turn me into a poof will you." he stated as he carried her away, followed by Lucius who was dragging Draco behind him.

"I'm pregnant... remember that." She warned , hoping he would just let her go. She wasn't thrilled with him carrying her bridal style through the school.

"I'm aware and your child will be safe... but you my dear, have something coming to you." he replied through gritted teeth.

The four made their way through the school and down to the dungeons. Hermione and Draco were taken into the Professors private quarters and were practically thrown on the couch, well Draco was, Severus sat Hermione down gently.

"You two have made your beds this time." Severus growled, pacing back and fourth as Lucius poured two large glass of fire whiskey. He would probably stay drunk for a week after this.

"You dare turn me into a Nancy in front of the entire school." he seethed, "And you two will pay dearly for that."

"Not to mention you have scarred me for life." Lucius added, "No offense" he said to Severus.

"None taken... I will be visiting a brothel some time in the next few hours to regain some masculinity."

"Oh, come on... it wasn't that bad, just one little kiss." Hermione said innocently

"I... do...not...like...men." he growled and Lucius Shuddered.

Severus raised his wand towards Draco and wordlessly cast a spell, changing Draco clothes into a bright pink dress with lace and ruffles.

"It will not come off for two days... so don't try." Snape said with a smirk as Draco's face froze in horror.

"You cant do this!" he yelled, "Theres a dress code."

"Which you will be excused from." Severus replied before turning to Hermione.

"And for the little Gryffindor." he waved his wand turning Hermione's clothes into an exact copy of his own with the exception on bright white letters across the front of the robes saying "I love my Professor so much I even dress like him."

Hermione yelped, "You can be serious?"

"Oh but I am and you will wear it proudly for two days."

Draco looked to Hermione who was already looking to him, "I don't have the legs for this dress."

"Thats for sure." Hermione replied, pulling on the tight collar on her neck.

"Dismissed" He said with an evil smirk

They didn't need to be told twice and took off out the door.

Lucius turned to Severus, "Well, good luck at the brothel... I need to pay a visit and impregnate my wife to get some of my pride back."

Severus nodded, "You do that."

And with that, Lucius stepped into the floo and disappeared in a whirl of green flames.

Severus then went to the bathroom, turned on the water as hot as it would get, and stepped inside, trying to wash Lucius from his person.


	30. Chapter 30

Sorry this is not an update

Sorry this is not an update. I just want to let you all know that my mom had surgery last Tuesday and I've been caring for her since. Unfortunately, her hip slipped out of place and she made need a second operation so my updates will be coming when I have a chance to breathe. I'm sorry for putting this off but I'm doing what I need to do. I will hopefully be able to update some tomorrow evening.

Thanks

Randi


	31. Chapter 31

A month later, Narcissa was grinning ear to ear as the healer confirmed her pregnancy

A month later, Narcissa was grinning ear to ear as the healer confirmed her pregnancy. She was elated that she had managed to get pregnant as quickly as she had and knew it was the little prank from Hermione and Draco that cause him to kick into action.

She had learned of the prank the next day when she noticed a pick up in Lucius' sex drive. She of course asked him what had changed and when he explained about reclaiming his masculinity after the prank, Narcissa couldn't help but laugh and laugh and laugh. The image of Severus chasing Lucius around school grounds put a smile on her face for days.

"And there's no doubt that I am having this baby?" Narcissa asked the healer once more

"I'm as positive as they get. You are expecting a child and if you wish, I can tell you the sex."

Narcissa practically gave herself whiplash as she nodded enthusiastically. She really hoped it was a girl but if she gained another son, she would be happy with that as well – she was still hoping for a girl though.

"Alright, Mrs. Malfoy, Lay back so I can perform the charm."

Narcissa did as requested, crossing her fingers for the girl

"Well?" Narcissa asked impatiently

"Give me one more minute dear, I want to be sure." The healer responded

Each second that passed by felt like years for Narcissa. She had to fight the urge to ask again.

"Well, Mrs. Malfoy, It looks as if you have a daughter on the way, congratulations."

Narcissa squealed a high pitch note and jumped up excitedly. She couldn't wait to tell Lucius, Draco and Hermione.

Oooooooooooooooooooo

Lucius walked into Malfoy Manor an hour later and went straight to his study. He had been in a board meeting for one of his businesses all day long and was ready to just relax for the night. He was fortunate that he did not have to go in very often, but on the occasion that he had to make an appearance, the day seemed to wear him out and give him a headache.

"Lucius, How was your day?" Narcissa asked as she slipped into the study.

Lucius inwardly groaned, he loved his wife but he just want to relax… alone.

"It was fine, I'm just a little tired is all. I had to deal with the Winters Brothers today and they are very, very hard to please."

Narcissa nodded, she had heard they were absolute monsters when it came to making a business deal.

"Well, I have some news that might lighten up your day a bit." She said with a grin

Lucius raised his eyebrow to her, signaling for her to continue.

"I went to a healer today as I have not been feeling well and she told me that I'm pregnant."

Lucius nodded, he really hadn't been paying close attention to what his wife was saying.

"Did you hear me?" She asked

"Yes, you said you went to a healer and they said you were --, Wait, you mean it worked?"

Narcissa smiled, "Yes it worked, did you doubt yourself?"

Lucius shook his head in the negative but secretly he had been wondering if all those years in Voldemorts service, being hexed for one thing or another had left him sterile.

"Well, Lucius, I am happy to say we are going to finally have a daughter."

Lucius was not an emotional man, but at the words 'Daughter', his radar went up and he found himself already plotting ways to ward off future boyfriends. He still had a headache but this was a cause for a celebration. He stood from his chair, walked to the smiling blond witch and pulled her up, kissing her with as much passion as he could muster.

"I think a nice dinner out is in order." He stated

"Can we go and get the kids? I'd like to celebrate with them as well."

Lucius nodded, It was thanks to them that he had to feel manly again and he really owed them one. Narcissa made a quick floo call to Dumbledore, asking if they could take Draco and Hermione out with them for dinner.

"It's all set" She said cheerily, "I will grab my coat and we can go."

He gave her another kiss before she walked out and he slumped back in his chair. He was going to have a daughter, A DAUGHTER, and that meant he was going to have to use his complete arsenal to fend off boys with wondering paws.

Was he ready? Could he really handle another child? He wasn't sure but Malfoy's didn't back down and he'd be damned if they started now.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Severus Snape was a solitary man for the most part. He occasionally enjoyed the company of friends, even if he didn't admit it, but that was the extent of it. He didn't have a steady witch for a reason. He didn't want to explain to someone when he went out, or have to coddle an emotional witch… it just wasn't his thing and that was how he liked it.

Unfortunatly for him though, the pretty blond witch at the brothel had taken a liking to him and had begun stalking him. He knew he had given it to the witch good that night, but not that good, and right now he was really hating Draco and Hermione.

He had received the 25th letter from the witch today and burned it with out even reading it. Her initial letters spoke of how she would make him the perfect wife, the perfect mother of his children and essentially described the large house with the white picket fence in front – the idea made him shudder.

The 15th letter he had received contained a picture of the witch in a wedding dress, blowing kisses at him. He quickly ripped the picture and threw the paper into the fire and that was how he handled every letter since.

He would get revenge on Draco and Hermione… one way or another.

A/N: No, I'm not making Severus mean or evil. He will just be in it for the pranks. Also, I have had a few reviews wanting me to tame down the pranks because Hermione is pregnant. I wont tame them down but I will promise that she will not be hurt in the least, nor the baby.


	32. Chapter 32

The four arrived at a nice restaurant about an hour later and were quickly seated

The four arrived at a nice restaurant about an hour later and were quickly seated. Draco and Hermione were both anxious as they weren't sure if this was a serious dinner or a prank in the making. Lucius was aware of their hesitance to the second he and Narcissa walked into their dorm.

Flash back

"_So when do you want to find out if we are having a boy or a girl?" Draco asked as he rubbed her lower back. She wasn't showing yet but she was always complaining about being achy._

"_We could probably go to Poppy tomorrow if you are sure you want to know." She answered_

_Draco nodded, "I do want to know so we can prepare properly. I want to make sure we have everything when this baby is born."_

_Hermione couldn't help but smile at him. He had come along way over the last few weeks. He went from freaking out to accepting the child and now seemed to be a little excited about it – which made her excited as well._

"_Then we will make a visit to Poppy after breakfast." She agreed and leaned back into him. _

_They tried to keep their affection between them and didn't like to flaunt it in the halls. The other students were finally starting to stop the gossip about them and they didn't want to add to the mix. Hermione enjoyed the time they spent in their dorm. They managed to spend time with each other, study together and still make time to arrange everything needed from the heads. It wasn't always easy but they managed._

"_Switching subjects, Have you thought of a theme for the dance?" Draco asked_

"_Umm, I've had a few ideas… but nothing seems to fit." She replied with a sigh, "I've tried to think of something that will work well for everyone but I seem to be hitting a dead end."_

"_I know what you mean. I did however think of something that may be a little different then ever before but I'm worried that the purebloods and a few others wont have a clue."_

"_Is it muggle?"_

"_Guilty" he said with a laugh, "I just wanted to do something that as far as I know has never been done before at Hogwarts."_

_Her curiosity was peaked, "Go on"_

"_Well, What about a sock hop? You know, Muggle fifties dance?"_

_Her mouth dropped, she didn't know he knew what a sock hop was._

"_That's brilliant!" she said excitedly, "That is so different that I think it might actually work."_

_Draco then grinned, he had a feeling she would like it._

_He started to tell her a few ideas when a knock came at the portrait. _

"_Come in" he answered, flicking his wand at the door so it would open._

_Lucius and Narcissa walked through and smiled, making Hermione and Draco instantly drop to the floor in fear of a prank. They crawled as quickly as they could into the kitchen, baffling Lucius more then he had ever been before. _

_Lucius raised en eyebrow, "What in the world is wrong with you two?"_

_They didn't answer but he could hear the clanking of pots and pans coming from the kitchen._

"_I think they've gone mad, Darling." Lucius said to Narcissa, who was looking towards the kitchen with concern._

"_State your business." Draco finally stated, standing up from behind the counter with a pot on his head to cover his hair, a cookie sheet in his hand to deflect hexes and a spatula in his hand waving it madly._

_Hermione popped up next with a strainer on her head, a pot lid in her hand like a shield and a baster in her hand._

"_We haven't done anything to warrant revenge" she squeaked. She wasn't scared, just prepared._

_Lucius rolled his eyes, "You two look completely ridiculous. Please remove the cooking equipment and come here."_

"_Not until we have your word that you are here in peace." Draco replied, hopping back and forth to make himself a harder target to hit._

_Narcissa couldn't help but laugh, to think that these two were due to be parents in the near future – her poor grandchild.._

"_We are actually here to take the two of you to dinner. We have some news we would like to share with you."_

"_So you've come in peace?" Hermione asked, wanting to make sure before she removed her helmet and shield._

"_Yes, yes, now restore your kitchen and come over here."_

_Hermione and Draco looked to each other to see what the other one thought. They nodded in unison and started to remove their armor. Draco removed the pot first, then sat the cookie sheet down, he did not however, release the spatula just yet._

_Hermione slowly removed the strainer, placed the pot lid and baster down before removing the large skillet from under her shirt._

"_Oh sweet Merlin, you two are Mental." Lucius stated_

"_Not mental, just cautious." Draco replied, finally placing the spatula down._

_The two walked side by side, slowly, until they reached his parents._

"_Come, we have reservations" Narcissa stated and ushered them through the door._

End flash back

"You two need to stop worrying, I would not prank you in a quiet restaurant." Lucius said with a sigh, "Now I want you both to listen to your mother as she has news for the two of you."

Both teens nodded and looked to Narcissa.

"Well, You both know Lucius and I have decided to have another child."

Hermione nodded and Draco shivered, he didn't want to think about anything involving his parents and anything that would lead to a baby – he wanted to actually eat his meal, not hack it up.

"Well, I found out this morning that I am pregnant."

Hermione eyes lit up and despite the looks she was gaining from the other guests, she got up from her seat and gave Narcissa a huge hug.

"I'm so excited for you.' She said as she jumped around.

Narcissa smiled and hugged the anxious girl back, maybe her grandchild would be alright after all.

"Congratulations, mother, father." Draco said with sincerity. He was happy his mum was finally getting what she wanted more then anything.

"And the best part is the healer told me with certainty that I m having a girl! I'm finally getting my daughter."

Hermione's face fell slightly at her words and she took her seat. She continued to act happy and excited but inside she was hurting a bit.

She wanted Narcissa to be happy, Lucius too, but would this daughter effect the relationship she had with Narcissa? She didn't want it to as Narcissa had told her on more then one occasion that she considered Hermione her daughter. She didn't want to lose that closeness.

The four ordered their meals and Narcissa bounced ideas around the table about the new baby's theme for her room. Hermione answered and gave suggestion but one person at the table noticed she was putting up a front.

"I need to use the little girls room." Hermione said discretely, "I'll be back in a few."

Draco and Lucius both stood as Hermione left the table and sat back down once she was gone. Lucius continued to watch her and when she walked part the hall that led to the bathroom and out the front door, he knew for sure that something was bugging her.

"Narcissa, Draco, If you'll excuse me I need to take Hermiones lead."

Both blondes nodded and continued the conversation about why fairies would disturb the new Malfoy for life.

Lucius also walked part the bathroom and out the door. It only took him a second to spot Hermione, leaning against the wall and looking into the sky.

"You missed the bathroom." Lucius said as he walked over to her.

"I just needed some air, morning sickness was acting up."

"No it wasn't." he said firmly, "I noticed the happiness leave you as soon as Narcissa mentioned a daughter."

Hermione sighed, Was he always so observant?

"Mind telling me what that was about?" he asked

"I just – I guess I'm just worried." She finally said while she continued to look up.

"About?"

"Well, Narcissa is finally getting her daughter – a real daughter at that… I'm just worried that she won't view me the same way once the baby is born."

Lucius wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "You know that wont happen. You and Draco may be royal pains to Severus and I, but Narcissa thinks the world of you. She always talks about you and the baby, saying she misses having the two of you at the manor… the baby won't change that for her."

Hermione nodded, he was right, she knew that, but that didn't ease her fear.

"Now lets get back inside before they come searching for us."

Hermione sighed and walked back inside with Lucius right behind her. He would tell Narcissa about Hermione's little problem once they got back to the manor.


	33. Chapter 33

Hi everyone. I just wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten about my stories. I have gotten quite a few emails even though I have not updated in forever so I figured I would let you all know what is going on.

I am currently working with a published author on a real book that I am writing. The book is very complicated for me as a writer because it has many twist and turns and I am doing my best to make it all flow as steadily as possible for the readers. I PROMISE that as soon as I have the kinks worked out and my brain is not so fried, I will update and finish my stories.

I am sooo sorry it is taking so long, but my heart is wanting to finish this book and I really need to go with it.

On a side note, I am looking for someone who is good at art and has some free time to make a cover of sorts and a few other things for my book. I will be making a myspace for the book and want an original layout to help show it off. I will give full and complete credit to anyone who steps up. Send me a message if you are interested.

Again, I am so sorry… I will make it up to you.


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